Friends Season 7 Reviews S7-1 : TOW Monica's Thunder An OK start to the new season, but not a classic. The episode begins with Ross rushing round to C&M's apartment to be told that Chandler & Monica are now engaged. He is delighted for them. Monica is even happier; she is on the balcony announcing her engagement to the whole of New York! When she calms down a bit, the gang decides to go out to celebrate. Monica however keeps forgetting that it's Chandler's night as well as hers though, saying "my" instead of "our". Joey doesn't want to stay out too long though; he has an audition in the morning in which he has to play the part of a 19-year- old. As always, he is blissfully unaware of how ridiculous this makes him seem. Chandler wants to have a quickie with Monica before they go out, but he can't perform, and this freaks him out. He then goes around worrying about it to whoever is available - Monica, Rachel, even the wooden foosball players! Meanwhile Phoebe wants to play at C&M's wedding, and is writing a new song for the occasion - unfortunately it starts of the another Chandler gay joke in the first line. Monica isn't happy and makes a grab for Phoebe's guitar. Phoebe then agrees to alterations, but warns Monica not to touch her guitar again! Ross & Rachel meet in the hall and discuss C&M's impending nuptials and both agree how great it is. Rachel then wonders if they will ever have what C&M have, but Ross immediately leaps to the wrong conclusion - that Rachel meant him with her! She soon sets him straight, but expresses regret that they didn't have a 'bonus night' of meaningless sex after they broke up. They both admit the other was good at the 'stuff' too, with Ross allowing his ego to run wild over it. Joey emerges from his room rehearsing for his audition, trying to dress to look 19, and uttering 'cool' phrases, but of course he looks utterly stupid, and Chandler tells him so. Chandler then tells Joey about his little 'problem', but Joey claims it has virtually never happened to him, not helping Chandler to feel better. A little later, Monica opens her door and gets a shock - Ross & Rachel are kissing in the hall! She then freaks out, accusing R&R of stealing the limelight from her big day, and won't wait to hear their explanation of what was really happening. Phoebe overhears their discussion and she also jumps to the conclusion that R&R are getting back together. Then Chandler & Joey come in, and Joey thinks the group are discussing Chandler's problem, berating them for discussing it, and thereby revealing it to Ross & Phoebe who didn't already know! Subsequently, Chandler & Monica are in their bedroom, and Chandler starts discussing honeymoon plans. He then gets 'excited' but before he can do anything about it, they get interrupted by Phoebe who is insecure about whether C&M really want her to play at their wedding - asking for a deposit to make sure. Her passion being thwarted, Monica then starts obsessing to Rachel about stealing her thunder again, having apparently done so at Monica's 16th birthday. Meanwhile, Ross is still reading too much into his kiss with Rachel, and she lets him know clearly that she doesn't want to get back with him. His ego shattered, he then attempts to pretend it is he who wants to cool things off, but ends up humiliating himself further. Monica is still complaining about Rachel spoiling her day though, riling Rachel so much that she really wants to ruin it, so she drags Ross away saying she is going to sleep with him. She's only pretending of course, and when Monica confronts her, she finally admits she is sad & jealous about Chandler & Monica's relationship. ********************************************************************* Comments : Monica looks unbelievably HOT now, far different from her gaunt look of last season! We find out Joey's age :- 31. Yet more hints that R&R's on/off romance isn't dead. When will Phoebe stop making gay jokes about Chandler? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------- S7-2 : TOW Rachel's Book Another moderate offering this week. The episode begins with Monica still overexcited about the forthcoming wedding, annoying the others by showing off the ring for the millionth time. She & Rachel then get out her old wedding book that she's had since the 4th grade, and begin planning the ceremony. Chandler feels left out, but Ross makes a comment that he needn't worry, as long as he says the right name during the vows! Phoebe wants to stay with Ross temporarily to give C&M some privacy, but unfortunately she interrupts one of his lectures to ask! Chandler still wants to take part in the wedding plans, but when he tries to help, it is very clear that Monica will have the final say! Joey is napping in C&M's apartment, as the duck has been puking all round his, after eating Rachel's cold cream! When he finally returns home, he fins the only unaffected area is Rachel's bedroom, but when he settles down there, he finds a very interesting book of Rachel's - it is a trashy soft porn story! Phoebe has now moved into Ross's place, but he is dismayed to find she is running her massage business from there. She says she did it at C&M's too, but then admits they knew nothing about it! Ross puts a stop to this, but then an attractive woman turns up at his door asking if Phoebe is there. Ross says he is her assistant, but his evil-masseuse plan backfires when it turns out that the client is actually the young woman's father! Rather than admit to his lecherous plan, he proceeds to give the man a weird massage, using wooden spoons & other items. Joey meanwhile, starts using innuendo from Rachel's book to wind her up, and all her admonitions do is to make him say 'you got porn!' Later, Chandler & Monica are out for a meal with Monica's parents, and we discover that Chandler hasn't yet told his parents he is engaged. The dinner is ruined for Monica though, when her parents tell her that they had blown her wedding fund on a beach house, because they didn't think she'd ever be getting married. She is devastated - all her plans are ruined. Rachel tries to comfort her by making alternate plans, but her heart isn't in it either. Chandler then nobly offers to pay for the wedding, providing she downgrades her plans a little. She is unwilling, but for once Chandler actually stands up to her, and puts his foot down! In Central Perk, Joey is still taunting Rachel, and as it turns out, he has told Ross about her book too, and he gets in on the act as well. Phoebe then turns up, and attacks Ross for his fake massage that cost her an $80/week client. After some thought, Monica admits she was wrong to ask Chandler to blow his entire savings on her wedding, but Chandler has had 2nd thoughts too, saying that their love is all that really matters. He then waxes lyrical about their future together (something that backfired when Ross did that to Rachel back in S2). Rachel is now getting pissed off at Joey's constant ribbing, but even when she confronts him, he doesn't back down until she freaks him out by pretending to come onto him! ********************************************************************* Comments : Yet another hairstyle for Monica - one that makes her look rather like Janice IMO. Chandler finally appears to have gotten a backbone transplant - it will be interesting to see how the relationship develops now he has the confidence to stand up to Monica. IMO, Monica's parents ought to make some financial contribution, even if they have to make sacrifices for it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-3 : TOW Phoebe's Cookies The 3rd episode in a row that didn't excite me. We start off with Chandler coming into Central Perk wearing new glasses, but the trouble is, no-one seems to realise he didn't always wear them! Next we see Monica fishing for engagement presents, with Phoebe suggesting a CD Walkman. Monica thinks she already has one, but Joey apparently lost it (at a gynecologist)! Monica says what she really wants is Phoebes secret cookie recipe. Phoebe is reluctant, since her grandmother made her swear from her deathbed to keep it secret. Phoebe finally agrees though, and goes to collect it from her old apartment. Meanwhile, Joey has been using the boat he bought at the end of the last season, but just as a place to hang out, rather than sailing it. Rachel offers to teach him as she has lots of sailing experience. Chandler has been offered a racket-ball game by Ross & Monica's father, something which Ross tells him is quite an honour. He is advised not to win though, as Jack Geller hates to lose. Chandler suggests he should play left- handed, but Ross thought he already did, prompting Chandler to wail 'Does no-one know me?' ? Phoebe arrives back, but she his discovered her apartment fire has burned the only copy of the cookie recipe. What she does have though is one frozen cookie which Monica thinks she can work out it's ingredients from. Joey is finally out in his boat, along with Rachel. As it turns out, he knows nothing at all about sailing, and he just sits there drinking beer. Rachel tries to instruct him, but he is totally incompetent, and she ends up yelling, upsetting him. After they return, Joey complains to Phoebe and Monica about Rachel, then casually pinches the last of Phoebe's cookie - the one Monica was using to recreate the recipe. Chandler has finished his racket-ball with Jack Geller, and goes into the steam- room to unwind. Unfortunately he can't see where to sit, and accidentally sits (naked) on Jack's lap! ? When Ross & Chandler get back, Chandler reluctantly relates this story, causing Monica to comment 'Oh my God, you gave my father a lap-dance!'. A succession of ribbing over this incident follows. Joey seems to have given up on the sailing, since she was mean to him, but she persuades him to change his mind, promising not to yell - not before a typical Joey move to try and make her go topless though! ? Monica has resorted to making her own cookies with mixed success, including one batch that makes Ross throw up! Back on the boat, Joey is as useless as ever, getting even the simplest things wrong, and irritating Rachel enough to make her yell despite saying she wouldn't. Joey wants to give up, but Rachel says 'Greens don't quit', then realising she is following her father's angry pattern, finally apologizing to Joey. Monica & Phoebe are still trying to work out the cookie recipe, Monica asking Phoebe if anyone in her family would know, even her sister Ursula. Phoebe says she doesn't want to speak to her again before she dies - which she says will be on 15/10/32! She then remembers French relatives who might be able to help, but the name she gives turns out to be French for 'Nestle Tollhouse', a commercial manufacturer of cookies! ? Meanwhile, an embarrassed Chandler is meeting Jack Geller at the sports hall again to try and persuade him not to spread the story. Jack agrees, providing he doesn't mention to his in-laws that he's not really a lawyer - a pretence he's maintained for decades. Unfortunately, the worst is yet to come for Chandler, as he gets naked in a room he shouldn't! ********************************************************************* Comments : Some bits of continuity here, and some failures at it too. Joey's boat & phoebe's cookies have come up before, but the main error I spotted was of Phoebe's grandmother's deathbed request. In 5-13 TOW Joey's Bag, it was said that Phoebe's grandmother dropped dead in a store or market of some kind, NOT in bed. Oh, and CCA gets hotter by the week! If the rumours about her marriage problems are true, then her husband must be a total moron to risk losing her! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-4 TOW Rachel's Assistant The best of the season so far, though still not as good as many from previous seasons. The episode starts with the gang having to endure watching the pilot episode of Joey's show 'Mac & CHEESE'. When Joey asks them what they thought of it, they are hard pressed to think up of ways not to tell him it sucked. Phoebe comes up with the best distraction though - pressing her breasts against him! :) Later, Rachel bursts excitedly into Central Perk with some good news to tell Monica & Phoebe. Before she can relay it though, Joey also charges in with some good news of his own, interrupting Rachel. They then compete over who tells their news first. Rachel has been promoted, and she will have her own assistant too. Joey has a chance to return to his old show 'Days Of Our Lives' - he will now be in two shows at once (he thinks). When Rachel starts to interview candidates though, she is insecure since she hasn't done so before, and even admits that to one of them. She has a choice of two : one middle-aged woman who appears perfect for the position, and one cute guy (Tag) who she initially mistakes for a model. She's smitten, and even tricks him into being photographed! :) Chandler is sitting in CP, when in come Monica & Phoebe having a whispered conversation. Chandler is curious, but is rebuffed when he asks Monica about it. He then tells her that they should have no secrets from each other, and offers to tell her a secret in exchange. He reveals that Ross once threw up after eating 10 taco's at an amusement park, but receives only an irrelevant bit of gossip in return, prompting Monica to taunt 'You lose, sucker!' Rachel later agonizes to Phoebe & Chandler over her choice of assistant - her head says the woman, but her heart says Tag! She shows them the photo, and Phoebe is intrigued, even Chandler comments favourably, though cautioning them not to mention him to Monica! Joey turns up at the studio about his Days of our Lives job, only to find he is expected to audition, rather than just being handed the part. This pisses him off, and he storms out. Meanwhile, Monica is making tacos for herself & Chandler, when Ross comes in. She's unable to conceal her amusement about Chandler's story, and Ross guesses Chandler blabbed. In revenge, he reveals a highly embarrassing incident in Atlantic City, where Chandler had accidentally kissed a guy, thinking he was a girl! This prompts a series of tit-for-tat revelations : Ross wore leg-warmers at college, Chandler entered a Vanilla-Ice look-alike contest, Ross did they same but cried at finishing 4th, Monica ate macaroni off a jewellery box, Ross watched the Golden Girls, Monica couldn't tell time until she was 13. Monica then gets carried away, and lets slip a secret about Chandler, rather than Ross, that he once wore her underwear to work! Ross then mentions that Chandler once got drunk & slept with the college cleaning lady, but Chandler points out that it was actually Ross who did this! Rachel is talking to Phoebe & Joey about her new assistant, but daren't tell them she hired Tag. Then the phone rings, but it is the studio to tell Joey that Mac & CHEESE has been cancelled after just one show. To console him, both Rachel & Phoebe then press their breasts against him, which certainly works! :) Joey is forced to go groveling to Days Of Our Lives to try and get another chance at the part. After much persuasion, he succeeds, but not in the way he intended - only as his old character in a coma, without his face even being shown. Phoebe turns up at Rachel's office, and catches her out - finding that she hired Tag after all. Chandler, Monica & Ross are sitting uneasily at Central Perk, until they finally decide not to reveal any more secrets about each other, though it is too late for some of them. Tag wants to have a word with Rachel. He keeps getting asked out by other guys, as Rachel had spread a rumour that he was gay, to try and keep him for herself. Rachel bluffs her way through this, and is intrigued when he wants to ask her something, but it turns out he wants to ask Phoebe out, rather than her. In a panic, Rachel then tells him Phoebe is gay! ********************************************************************* Comments : Plenty of signs that the old, selfish and irresponsible Rachel is back. The inconsistency over who was Ross's first lover, which has already been mentioned. Joey's misplaced belief in his own importance gets him into trouble again. Who was the cute girl in the pink top that Rachel tells Tag is gay! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-5 TOW the Engagement Picture Yet another ordinary episode this week IMO. The episode begins with Chandler, Monica & Phoebe in C&M's apartment. Chandler is grossed out by someone who licked his neck on the subway - but it turns out to be a friend of Phoebe's! Monica tells Chandler that she needs to have an engagement photo taken with him for the local paper. Chandler says this will be a problem, since he never looks good in photos. In Central Perk, Phoebe is eyeing up a guy, but Ross reminds her that the guy (Kyle) is married. Phoebe says he is getting divorced though. Chandler makes a comment that he is surprised Ross does know him in that case. :) Ross comes back with 'It's not a club!' Rachel's crush on her assistant, Tag, continues. She is very nearly caught by a workmate sniffing Tags jumper! She's not the only woman keen on him though, and she bitchily pulls rank to get rid of one of her competitors. In C&M's photo session, despite Monica's best efforts, whenever Chandler is needed to smile he ends up just baring his teeth and grimacing. Joey turns up at Rachel's office to borrow a replacement top, since he spilled something on the one he was wearing. Unfortunately, while eating a doughnut, he spills jam all over the new one too! Rachel has an idea to keep other women away from Tag, bribing Joey to take him out with Ralph Lauren products. Monica is showing Ross the disastrous results of the photo session, and Chandler, seeing the photos, comments on why Monica ever slept with him - she warns him not to go there! Phoebe is finally getting ready to ask Kyle out, but he suddenly panics when he sees his ex-wife Melissa at the door. Phoebe then asks Ross if he will distract her, bribing him with ballroom dancing tickets. He is reluctant at first, but then ends up actually enjoying the date. Next day, Phoebe turns up at Ross's apartment, and warns Ross about her, passing on 2nd hand info about Melissa's alleged faults, told by her ex. Unfortunately she turns up at his door, and overhears Phoebe bad-mouthing her. Meanwhile, Rachel's plan has backfired, Joey had taken Tag to a Knicks game, but then he'd taken him to a bar, which Joey had given him some very successful pointers on attracting women, resulting in Tag getting many phone numbers! Rachel confronts Joey over this, but Joey is just happy he now has someone he can take out to chat up women, upsetting Chandler who is standing ignored in the background! In a final attempt to get a decent photo taken, Chandler takes anti-histamine to help relax him - unfortunately this works too well, and he falls asleep. Ross and Phoebe are now both passing on 2nd hand slurs about their respective dates, and they end up having a weird argument as if it were they rather than their dates that were going through a divorce! :) They both end up losing out though, as Kyle & Melissa get back together, having resolved their differences. The engagement notice finally appears, but as it turns out, it is actually a photo of Monica & Joey! ********************************************************************* Comments : Rachel's hair looks better long. Rachel is now going into super-bitch mode! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-6 TOW the Nap Partners Perhaps this episode was over-hyped, but it didn't live up to the high expectations I had for it. It starts with Monica, Rachel & Phoebe in a restaurant discussing who will be Monica's Maid of Honour. It turns out that Monica wants to do a trade-off, where they each act as each others. Mainly though, it’s Monica's way of avoiding deciding between Rachel & Phoebe. Suddenly though, a woman at the next table comes over and sarcastically wishes Monica good luck with marrying Chandler. The guys are over at Ross's apartment watching 'Die Hard', they then expect to see DH2, but they've been given another copy of DH by mistake. Joey then says lets watch it again, joking that twice Die Hard 1 = Die Hard 2. Chandler excuses himself and leaves though. Phoebe and Rachel are in Central Perk trying to decide who will be Maid of Honour. Phoebe then asks Rachel to be her Maid of Honour, she's initially delighted, but soon sees through Phoebe's trick - that this means she couldn't be Monica's. Eventually though, Rachel lets Phoebe be Maid of Honour as she hasn't done it before. The next scene sees Ross & Joey snuggled up on the sofa together, they've obviously nodded off while watching the video. As soon as they wake up, they leap apart in shock, and agree never to discuss the incident. Monica mentions the odd incident at the restaurant to Chandler, and they manage to identify who the woman was. Chandler puts his foot in it though, he says she was an old high-school girlfriend whom he broke up with because she got fat! Phoebe is looking forward to being Monica's maid of honour, but Joey lets slip the Phoebe has done the job before, causing Rachel to retract her offer letting P. do it. Joey comes up with the idea that he & Ross should hold auditions to decide whether Rach or Pheebs gets the job. After the girls have left, despite their promise, Joey wants to talk to Ross about the nap incident. Joey admits it was his best nap ever, and even Ross concedes a bit, but baulks at Joey's suggestion of a repeat. Meanwhile, Monica remembers how bad she felt as being ditched because of her former weight, and persuades Chandler to apologise to the women from the restaurant. Soon, Joey & Ross are setting up the test for Rachel & Phoebe, with various scenarios. Firstly - for Rachel, Monica having last-minute nerves : Rachel mentions that if you back out, you don't get to keep the wedding presents! Secondly - for Phoebe, a drunken relative disturbing the ceremony : Phoebe would wrestle them to the ground! Thirdly, wedding speeches : Rachel comes out with tribute to M&C which moves Ross & Joey, and puts her in front position for the job. Then Phoebe trumps her with a girl/girl allusion! A little later R&J tell Phoebe she has won, and Rachel storms out in a huff. Chandler turns up with Monica at his old girlfriend's door, and apologises for dumping her for being fat. Strangely she didn't even realise that was the reason, but reveals that she thinks of him as 'skidmark'! When they get back home, Chandler suggests he should apoligise for every time he does something stupid, then Monica's says he should just avoid doing stupid things in the first place. Monica then reveals her insecurity that Chandler might dump her if she got fat again. He's able to reassure her, though not without almost putting his foot in again! A guilty Rachel now apologises to Phoebe, and offers her lots of stuff for the Maid of Honour job that she knows Monica will like, and then gets all weepy. This causes Phoebe to back out, and allow Rachel the job. Monica is delighted at the news and immediately starts to dictate exactly what she wants Rachel to do, leaving her with a frozen grin, and Phoebe with a smirk. This soon vanishes though when Rachel points out that now Monica will be Phoebe's maid of honour! Finally, Joey & Ross are caught out by the others, having been napping together again, and Joey feigns horror at what he says Ross was doing. :) ********************************************************************* Comments : Monica's hair is now short, but she still looks fantastic. We find out that Monica & Rachel have known each other since they were 6. Nice to see that Rachel has learned out how to apologise. I really don't like gay innuendo between obviously straight characters - probably why this show wasn't one of my favourites. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-7 TOW Ross's Library Book At last - a GREAT episode! :) The episode starts with Rachel walking into the bathroom & catching Joey's latest girlfriend Erin half-naked. As it turns out though, he is not looking for a relationship, and has the cheek to ask Rachel to break up with Erin for him, as he's going off to work. Next Chandler & Ross are in the university library, and Ross is bragging that they have a copy of his book. They go to the paleontology section looking for it, but find a couple making out there! At Monica's restaurant, a customer is complaining about the chicken, but when they appear, it is Janice! She immediately notices Monica's engagement ring, and wants to know who her fiancée is. Back at the apartment, Monica tells him who she saw, giving Chandler a shock - the shock is heightened when Monica admits that Janice invited herself to their wedding. Chandler asks why Monica didn't lie to put her off, and she tells him he'll have a chance to do that himself - they're going on a double date that weekend! Joey gets back, only to find Erin still there, Rachel and Phoebe having befriended her. After she leaves Joey confronts them, but they say they really like her and Joey should give her another chance. He's not keen, especially after he finds out she drank his beer! He gets trapped into a 2nd date though, when Rachel & Phoebe set him up with a fake movie trip. Their plan is so well rehearsed that they even give their excuses in stereo! As it happens though, Joey actually enjoys the date. Ross goes back to the library to complain about the 'goings-on' only to find that a gay librarian thinks he is propositioning him. :) He ends up having to guard the make-out corner himself. He successfully deters couples until an incredibly HOT blonde woman turns up, and it turns out she is a big fan of his work. To Ross's great embarrassment, he himself gets caught making out with her a little while later! :) At the restaurant, Janice's date has stood her up, leaving C&M to deal with her emotions alone. Chandler points out to Monica that they have to exclude from the wedding or she'll want to sing. They try telling Janice that the ceremony will be for family only, but this backfires - Janice thinking that means they now reagrd her as family! In Central Perk, Erin admits to Rachel & Phoebe that she wants to break up with Joey. This they eventually do, with Joey finally being consoled with pancakes. At their apartment, Chandler & Monica are still discussing how to uninvite Janice when she turns up at their door. Unseen by Janice, Joey spots her and flees in terror! :) Chanler makes up wild excuses that do no good, but Monica finally comes up with the solution - she pretends that Chanlder still has feelings for Janice, and Chanlder plays along - finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Janice finally leaves, but not before whispering to Chanlder 'to call her when it ends'! Finally, Ross is still guarding the library, when who should turn up to make-out but Chander & Moinca! ********************************************************************* Comments : Well, it took 7 episodes, but finally we have an episode worthy of the Friends tradition. :) I hate it when Monica ties her hair back. Loved her 'lucky bastard' comment to the lobster she throws in the pot as Janice turns up! Wow - was that woman Ross was caught with HOT or what! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-8 TOW Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs Another reasonable episode, but irritating in parts. We start of in C&M's apartment with Monica cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Ross comes in, only to be shushed by the others who are playing a game of trying to name all 50 US States. Somehow Joey has managed to come up with 56 names! Ross is only able to list 46 States, and it is driving him mad Monica has made an extra place-setting as she thought Tag would be coming, but Rachel tells her that Tag has gone away with his girlfriend. Monica discovers she needs more oven space, and after discovering Joey's oven doesn't work, goes over to Ross's place instead, accompanied by Chandler. Meanwhile, it turns out that Phoebe has sneaked a dog into C&M's apartment, something that Monica spots from Ross's window across the street. She immediately phones Phoebe who absurdly denies it - seeming unable to comprehend that Monica can see everything from Ross's place! Chandler is particularly agitated over the dog's presence, saying he is allergic. Next, Tag suddenly turns up at the door, having broken up with his girlfriend, and needing company. When C&M arrive back at their apartment, the rest still pretend to know nothing about the dog. Joey slips up though, and Phoebe can't stop the dog from barking, so it is soon discovered. Monica soon warms to the animal, but Chandler maintains his allergy story, until Phoebe tells him the dog has been there for 3 days! At this point he is forced to admit he hates dogs - shocking the others. They then start taking the piss. Chandler sticks to his guns though, saying either the dog leaves or he does, but not getting the answer he hoped for! Rachel has her eye on Tag, now that he is single, and asks how long she should wait before making a move - Phoebe & Monica suggest months, while Joey typically suggests half an hour! Monica reminds Rachel that she shouldn't go after him at all. Another moment of Joey dumbness too, saying 'moo' instead of 'moot'. Tag is out on the balcony, and Rachel goes out to sypathise with him, ending up giving him a comforting hug. Unfortunately, on seeing this, Joey misinterprets the situation and lets slip that Rachel is interested in Tag. Tag is surprised, and confronts Rachel, who, after excuses, finally admits to having a crush on him. Before they can talk it out though, Tag spots his car being stolen, so rushes off. Monica & Phoebe have temporarily taken the dog over to Ross's apartment, but Monica can't bear to leave him there, and they sneak it back. Chandler's conscience is now playing up, and he goes round to Ross's apartment to look for the dog, obviously not finding it. All this time, Ross has been obsessing about not being able to name all the States, even enlisting Joey's ineffective help. Chandler returns from Ross's place very apologetic, thinking he has lost the dog. Instead of confessing, the rest of the gang pretends the dog came back on its own. Ross is now totally freaking out over the naming problem, having promised himself no Thanksgiving dinner until he solves it! Tag admits he is uncomfortable about the situation, but only because Rachel said nothing could happen between them. He then risks his job by kissing her, which she likes! In the early hours of the following morning, Ross turns up at C&M's door, having finally sorted the missing State, but it turns out he has got one down twice, but is too hungry to care! :) ********************************************************************* Comments : I mentioned irritation above - this is because I too HATE dogs, and found the others treatment of Chandler appalling - especially tricking him into feeling guilty. :( Rachel & Tag - can open, worms everywhere! :) And Rachel this week - WOW! Short PVC skirt & tight top… Mmmmmmmmm! :) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-9 TOW All the Candy Another moderate episode - nothing outstanding, but nothing too bad either. It starts with Ben learning to ride a bike, and with him accidentally calling Chandler 'daddy', which Ross corrects to 'one daddy, two mommies!' Phoebe then mentions she never had a bike as a child, but only a borrowed bike-box which she used as a substitute, being dragged around on it! Monica is concerned that she doesn't know her neighbours, so she decides to make them some candy, leaving it in a box outside her door for them. Rachel is discussing the situation over Tag with the gang, but during a night at his apartment they don't get round to discussing it. She denies sleeping with him as she doesn't do that on first dates, to which Monica comes up with several counter-examples - then Rachel lamely follows up with '… any more'. It turns out that, as Tags boss, Rachel has to write an assessment of his work. Monica & Chandler arrive back home to find the candy all gone, and she is delighted that their neighbours liked it. Chandler points out that it might have been Joey who ate it though! This turns out to have been wrong, as he was beaten to it. Monica then says she'll make more candy as the first lot was such a hit. Ross, feeling sorry for Phoebe missing out during childhood, has generously bought her a bike, which everyone agrees is a lovely gesture. The first hints of trouble over Monica's candy appear at 4 in the morning when a neighbour knocks at their door asking for more of it, it hasn't helped her to be recognised though. Rachel gives Tag a highly sexual joke evaluation, which he mistakes for the real one sending it down to personnel, a mistake which might well cost one or both of them their jobs! The gang is discussing how much Phoebe likes her bike, until they realise they have only seen her pushing it. They confront her, and she proves she cannot actually ride it by crashing when she makes an attempt. Word has now gotten around, and now the neighbours are queuing up for Monica's candy, wanting more than she can possibly make. Chandler then speculates she makes food in order for people to like her! She replies that he does the same with his defensive humour. Ross decides to teach Phoebe to ride, and all is going well while he's pushing her. She's suddenly realises he's stopped holding her, and crashes out, felling very betrayed. Monica is now well into her candy-making obsession until Ross points out this aspect of her behavior is why he'll avoid her in the week before her wedding! Ross meanwhile is trying to make up with Phoebe over the bike incident, but she pretends it has been stolen, despite it being covered up right next to her. He then appeals to her karmic side, by claiming the bikes spirit will die if it isn't ridden. She calls him on this, but admits she appreciates that he cares enough to do that. Rachel & Tag are plotting to get the incriminating report back, but it is too late - her boss has already seen it and wants to talk to them about it! Fearing the worst, they try to pass it off as a joke, and Tag takes the rap for it. Fortunately for them, Rachel's boss buys this BS, and their jobs are saved - for now! There is now a candy mob outside Monica's door, making Monica feel trapped into making ever more candy for them. Chandler, showing unusual strength, faces them down though, possibly helped by a quick drag from one neighbour’s cigarette! Finally, it appears that Phoebe has learned to ride, only for us to see that her bike is now fitted with children’s stabiliser wheels. ********************************************************************* Comments : How long before Rachel & Tag get caught & fired? How low cut was Rachel's dress! Monica looking great again this week. Nothing much else, since Tennant writes his reviews from downloaded episodes, and pinches the best comments! :) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-10 TOW the Holiday Armadillo I didn't like this one much at all. Two of the three storylines irritated me, and the third wasn't exceptional either. It starts with Chandler announcing to Monica he has made them reservations at a posh restaurant. Phoebe then comes in with a scull, saying it is her mothers, at their shocked looks she explains that it wasn't actually her, just belonged to her. Phoebe just uses it to keep candy in! Ross arrives, saying he is to look after Ben over Xmas this year, and intends to teach him about hannukah(sp?). He then grabs candy from the scull without a second thought. Later, in Central Perk Chandler discovers that Monica doesn't want to take the name Bing because she thinks it is weird. Phoebe then arrives, and announces that her apartment has been repaired (from the fire) and wants to move back in ASAP, taking Rachel with her. C&M then suggest that Rachel might not want to go back because she's having lots of fun at Joey's. This notion gets Phoebe rather agitated, and she leaves - plotting ways to get Rachel to move back in with her. The first part of the plan has her buying drums for Joey in the hope the noise will drive Rachel away, but this backfires as Rachel likes the drums too! When C&M arrive for their meal, their reservation is delayed, and Monica advises Chandler to slip the man on the desk some money to get them in quicker. Chandler tries, but he is nervous and makes a hash of it. Ross is trying to teach Ben about hannukah, but he's only interested in Santa, and gets upset when he thinks he isn't going to visit! Chandler tries his hand at tipping again, this time with Gunther, but with no more success than before. As it turns out, Joey's drums have started to annoy… but only neighbours Chandler & Monica. They confront Phoebe who admits her scheme. She then decides to try a different present - a tarantula! This isn't a success either, it scares the sh*t out of Joey, but Rachel doesn't mind (so she claims). Phoebe finally comes clean to Rachel about why she's giving these unusual presents, but as it turns out she needn't have bothered - Rachel wants to be her roommate anyway. Ross is still trying to find ways of entertaining Ben, and tries to hire a Santa suit. He's too late though, and the only thing left is an Armadillo costume! He turns up at Monica's door, but Ben is still not too impressed, especially when Ross again tries to explain about Jewish festivities. Chandler then turns up in a Santa costume to Ben's great enthusiasm. He tries passing money to Ben, but fails yet again! Ross finally gives Ben an ultimatum - choose between Santa and the Armadillo. Not surprisingly, Ben chooses Santa, but Chandler saves the day by promising to stay only if Ross can tell Ben his Jewish stories. Also, Monica rather likes the Santa costume and asks if Chandler can keep it for an extra day! Joey also gets in the holiday spirit, turning up in a superman costume. Phoebe & Rachel finally get to inspect their apartment, but there have been changes made - especially the wall dividing the bedrooms has gone. She then realises she wants to live alone there, and Rachel agrees providing she can have the purple chair. On getting back to C&M's apartment and seeing all the costumes, she exclaims it looks like the Easter bunnies funeral! ********************************************************************* Comments : Only the Phoebe/Rachel apartment story didn't irritate me this week. Ben looks too old : He was born at the end of S1, so he should be 5.5 now, but the boy who plays him looks more like 8. You can take it as read what I think about Monica! :) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-11 : TOW All the Cheesecakes A better episode this week, with all three separate storylines being reasonably entertaining. We start with Rachel catching Chandler guzzling cheesecake, which, as it turns out, was delivered to his address in error. At first she is disappointed that he is eating someone else's cheesecake, but as soon as she tastes it, she forgets all her objections! Joey is still appearing on 'Days of our Lives' apparently, and today it turns out that he is not brain dead. He rapidly intercepts Chandler’s obvious comment! Joey and Phoebe have made dinner plans, which they do once a month, to discuss the others. Ross has been invited to his cousin Franny's wedding reception, but Monica hasn't, upsetting her because they were inseparable between 7 & 9. She then threatens to blackmail her aunt into inviting her, by telling her that Franny used to undress her - Ross then mentions that she used to do that to him too. Later, Phoebe storms into Joey & Rachel's apartment saying that Joey had skipped their dinner for a date, with only a brief note to explain. He turns up, and tries to excuse himself, but gets most help from Chandler who says the chance of sex makes it OK to cancel on short notice! She's still not happy though, any lays a guilt-trip on Joey. Finally they make up and reschedule for the following night. The next day, another cheesecake has turned up at Chandler’s door by mistake, and he is agonising over whether to eat it when Rachel arrives. She says they should deliver it to its rightful owner, but then gets distracted by the delicious memory of the last one! They finally do leave it outside the real recipients’ door though. Ross has been checking up on the invite, and it turns out there was no mistake - Monica really hadn't been invited. Ross was though, and he was even allowed to bring a guest. He plans to take his new girlfriend, but Monica pressures him into taking her instead. After he leaves, it turns out that Monica has evil revenge plans for not being invited! When Chandler & Rachel arrive back in their building they see the cheesecake still there, and cannot resist temptation any longer, and so steal it. Next comes the surprise of the show - Phoebe's old boyfriend David is back (cute scientist guy from much earlier in the series). He's only around for one night though, and Phoebe is so desperate to spend it with him that she considers ditching Joey, despite condemning him for doing the same thing. Monica reminds her of this very point, and she then decides to rush their meal instead so he can meet David later. Unfortunately Joey gets wind of this plan. Joey catches R&C eating a cheesecake, but to stop him joining them, they tell him it is Tofu, which he hates! Arriving at the wedding reception, Monica starts making herself look foolish, but Ross calms her down, for now. Joey is deliberately taking his time over his meal with Phoebe to get her back for her hypocrisy, so she is forced to admit she has a date, to get away in time to see David. She immediately drags David away to her apartment, presumably for a night of passion! Rachel is caught by Chandler eating cheesecake without him, admitting she is now a dessert-stealer! Chandler isn't happy, but Rachel traps him into splitting it with him by telling Monica that he doesn't like her cheesecake. The then makes a scene about no sharing, then promptly drops her piece on the floor! Before Chandler gets much chance to gloat, Rachel tips over his piece too! Meanwhile, at the wedding reception, Monica confronts the bride as to why she wasn't invited, only to find to her horror that it wasn't a personal snub, but to avoid her being embarrassed that the groom was a former boyfriend of hers! David now has to leave Phoebe again, but they manage to admit their feelings for each other in a circumspect way. Joey & Phoebe make up again, with him realising just how much David meant to her. Arriving back at the apartment, Joey catches Rachel & Chandler eating cheesecake off the floor. After an initial laugh, he joins them though! ********************************************************************* Comments : We discover that Joey's middle name is Francis. Why didn't Chandler & Rachel just order themselves cheesecake since they know where to get it from? Didn't like Monica's hair this week, though I did like her dress! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-12 : TOW They're Up All Night An OK episode - unusually having 4 storylines rather than three. None of them were outstanding, but with the exception of the Ross/Joey one, they were reasonably entertaining. The episode starts with the whole gang (+ Tag) on the roof, watching to see a comet the Ross told them about. Ross tries to give them more scientific details about it, but they immediately complain. Phoebe thinks she's spotted it, but it turns out to be just a plane. Joey is studying something intently, but when Ross asks him, he comes up with a typical Joeyism : He's actually looking at a girl with a big rack! :) After a while, everyone except Joey & Ross make their excuses and leave. Moinca citing that Chandler is cold, especially since he is wearing her hooded jacket. Joey finally gets Ross interested when he tells them there are 2 girls, rather than one, but he has locked them out by peering through the metal tube supposed to be holding the door open - trapping them! Later, Chandler is complaining to a drowsy Monica that he can't sleep, and he ends up getting a boring book of Monica's to help him, along with a kick from Monica to suggest he should read it elsewhere than the bedroom. Phoebe is also still awake - being kept up by her smoke alarm. She takes the battery out, but somehow it still keeps on beeping! On the roof, Ross starts to shout for help, but Joey, for once using his brain, suggests they use the fire escape. Chandler's attempts to tire himself out don't seem to be working - starts getting absorbed by Monica's book, and when he goes to make himself some warm milk, tips over some pans waking Monica up again. He also spoils the book for her! Meanwhile, Rachel & Tag are getting frisky, but she is distracted by remembering some contracts that had to be sent that day. She asks Tag if he sent them, but he denies all knowledge of them, and they have a brief argument over it, which culminates in them going back to the office to check. Joey & Ross's escape attempt is foiled when the fire escape ladder sticks, and they are left stranded still some feet from the ground. Ross suggests Joey should jump the rest of the way, saying it would just be like bungee jumping without the bounce! Phoebe is now getting desperate to shut her smoke alarm up - she even smashes it with her shoe, but even that doesn't stop it! She finally shoves it down the waste disposal chute wrapped in a blanket. Rachel & Tag arrive at the office, and Rachel discovers to her embarrassment that she'd forgotten to give Tag the contracts to post. She then sneaks them into his desk draw while he isn't looking to pass the buck. Ross and Joey decide to get from the fire escape into on of the buildings other apartments, only to be deterred by a fierce sounding dog! Since Monica & Chandler still can't get to sleep, they decide to have sex instead, but end up falling asleep in the middle of it - especially disappointing Chandler who says he was using some of his best moves! Rachel now tries to frame Tag by getting him to find the missing documents in his drawer, but he has already rumbled her and put them back where they were originally - on Rachel's desk. He then confronts him, but slips up by accidentally revealing that her knowledge of their location in Tag's desk. Her last resort is to try and distract him by acting turned-on! Phoebe attempt to get rid of her smoke alarm fails - it is returned by a fireman since she had wrapped it in a blanket with her name on. He says she should just have pressed the reset button. This no longer works of course, since she smashed it apart from the rest of the instrument! Ross finally decides to get down by climbing down Joey, but this leads to all sorts of embarrassment from ending up in compromising positions on the climb down. Ross finally falls when Joey mentions that his trousers are slipping down, and he is going 'commando'! ********************************************************************* Comments : Why didn't Ross & Joey just get from the fire escape onto Monica & Chandler's balcony? We see the nasty side of Rachel, with her trying to blame Tag for her own mistake. Nice jumper Monica was wearing! Phoebe should patent her powerless smoke alarm! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-13 : TOW Rosita Dies Bit of an unusual episode, this - almost free of any continuity, so could have been shown at almost any time in S7. A reasonable episode overall though. It starts with Rachel trying to move Joey's chair because she has no decent place to sit - Joey's suggestion of his lap not being acceptable to her! Joey tells her she can't move Rosita (the chair) because she's perfectly placed in front of Stevie (the TV). Rachel tries to move the chair anyway, and breaks it! Meanwhile, Ross has spotted in a local paper that his & Monica's parents are selling their home - causing them both some angst. Rachel confesses to Joey about the chair - he is upset, and more so at Rachel's suggestion that she buy him a new one. Surprisingly, he is then mollified by Rachel's BS about Rosita wanting him to move on! Phoebe walks into C&M's apartment moaning about the terrible year she's had - only 2 massage clients, and both terrible tippers (Ross & Monica)! Ross suggests she try telemarketing, and she agrees, though reveals she has worked before on a dirty phone line service! One her first day of the job, she has a poor test, she doesn't even know what the product is she is trying to sell. Her supervisor then tells her everything she needs to know is in the standard script they use. Chandler goes into Joey's apartment and is puzzled why it appears to be deserted, with food & beer untouched - he suspects something terrible has happened. He sits down & leans back on Joey's chair, and promptly falls backwards - making him jump to the wrong conclusion that he broke Joey's chair. Ross & Monica go to their parent’s house to find out what is going on, and Jack tells them they want another family to have a chance to grow up there - but his real motive is structural problems with the house. Ross sorts through his stuff stored in the basement, but discovers that Monica's property is all ruined by water (+ some cigarettes that his father unconvincingly denies are his)! Ross tells Jack how devastated Monica will be. Phoebe's very first phone calls turns out to be a dramatic one - she ends up connected to a suicidal supply manager - this is not something covered by her script! She immediately starts to be the good Samaritan and tries to find out why he is depressed. It turns out that his workmates are barely aware of his existence, despite him working there for 10 years! To cover up what Chandler thinks is the damage he caused, he swaps his identical chair with Joey's broken one, then leaves. When Joey & Rachel get back, they are amazed at the chairs 'recovery', Joey even saying 'It's a miracle'! Back at their parent’s house, Ross tells his dad that Monica already thinks the favour him over Monica, and her possessions being damaged will only confirm this in her eyes. Now Joey's chair is apparently fixed, Rachel gets to keep the super new one she bought as a replacement, making Joey resentful. Phoebe is desperately trying to keep the suicidal man talking, but he hangs up on her, so she is forced to track him down. Monica goes looking for her stuff in her parent’s basement, but all she can find is junk that Jack & Ross substituted to try and fool her. It doesn't work, and she is told the truth - all her precious memories are ruined, not surprisingly upsetting her greatly. Rachel talks to Chandler about her super new chair, explaining that she bought it to replace the old one she broke - Chandler realising that he felt guilty for nothing. He rushes over to retrieve his chair, only to find that Joey has broken that one too. Only then does Joey find out there was no miracle recovery for Rosita. Phoebe finds the suicidal guy at his office, and tries to convince him that fate linked them together to stop him killing himself - having to exaggerate a bit in the process though. She does manage to succeed in saving him though - giving him new confidence. Monica is surveying the wreckage of her childhood, cuddling a small furry thing until Ross tells her it is actually a dead mouse! Her father finally manages to make things up to her though - he gives her his Porsche! Ross then freaks out with jealousy, with him being the screechy one for a change! Back at the apartment, she says it's the best day ever - new car & and Chandler's barker-lounger gone! Also, Rachel has apparently overcome her qualms about sitting on Joey's lap - as long as it is on the good chair! ********************************************************************* Comments : Did Joey deliberately break Chandlers chair so he could have the good one? You have to feel sorry for Chandler - he did nothing wrong, yet loses his chair. More revelations from Phoebe's checkered past! Very annoyed that we didn't see the full version of this episode aired in America. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-14 : TOW They All Turn 30 Quite a reasonable episode this week - another flashback one. No really distinct storylines though, just a jumble of bits & pieces. The episode starts on Rachel's 30th birthday - apparently the last of the gang to reach that age. They knock on her bedroom door, and she comes out briefly just to say she isn't in a birthday mood, then retreats. When they persist, out comes Tag! He says Rachel wants to lay down some ground rules, but these are forgotten as soon as presents are mentioned! At the subsequent party meal, they try to tell her that turning 30 is not a big deal, but Joey blows it by his extremely distressed reaction on remembering his own 30th (and Chandler's)! Next we hear about Phoebe's 30th, and her ambition to ride a mile on a space- hopper (or the US equivalent). She then follows up with a suggestive remark to Monica & Rachel that 'This thing is a God-send'! On Ross's 30th birthday, he had a premature 'mid-life-crisis' and bought himself a sports car. Chandler quips 'Why doesn't Ross just put socks down his pants!' Phoebe wants a ride in the car though, but it's a very short ride since the car is totally boxed in. Back at Rachel's party, she decides that she wants to get something pierced, but Phoebe tells her this will be painful, and demonstrates by pinching her. Tag doesn't help Rachel's mood by telling of his nerves over reaching 25! :) For Monica's 30th, Chandler had arranged a surprise formal party. Ross & Monica's parents are there, and Jack lets slip that he's wearing the very same tux that Ross was conceived near! Monica finally arrives but she has trouble with getting in - she is totally pissed! Chandler goes out to help, and it turns out she'd been bought drinks by the busboys. Ross is still hoping to try out his car, and Phoebe volunteers to clear its path - unfortunately this involves breaking into one of the blocking vehicles, and the van's alarm sends everyone scattering. One of Phoebe's pre-30th ambitions was to make up with twin sister Ursula, but when she turns up at her door, Ursula reveals they are in fact 31, not 30! This throws Phoebe’s life plan right out as she has 'lost' a year. At Monica's party, Chandler is trying to cover for her, as her parents have never seen her drunk before. Phoebe volunteers to get twice as drunk as a distraction! Rachel now receives a present from Tag - it is a kid’s scooter! Ross tells him he should have stuck to Rachel's list. We don't get to find out what C&M got her, as their card upsets her - it has a grandma theme! Rachel then lays out what her life plan will be : she wants 3 kids, with at least one by the time she's 35. Unfortunately, when she extrapolates backwards from that point, she realises she's already behind schedule! One of the points is that she wants a child within a year of being married, causing Monica to say why will she wait that than, and this gives Chandler pause for thought too! Rachel then sees Tag & Joey playing on her scooter, and realises Tag is not who she wants a committed relationship with. Monica is now starting to get randy, and Chandler desperately tries to keep her quiet, but Phoebe spoils it by calling for Monica to make a speech. She gets up and starts by loudly announcing she's drunk, rambles on, and then collapses in a heap on the floor! Phoebe's schedule for her 31st year is in ruins - she wanted to meet Portuguese people, have a perfect kiss, and attend sniper school! Eager to help, Joey gives her a passionate kiss, which Phoebe agrees fulfils one of the categories, and he mentions he's also 1/16th Portuguese. Ross's final plan to free his car is for it to be physically lifted clear, telling the gang to 'lift & slide' as if the car were no heavier than, say, a sofa. Not surprisingly it fails! Rachel calls away Tag from her party and breaks up with him - wishing that he was 6 years older, or better, that she was 6 years younger! Ross finally gets to try out his car, but immediately sees an older, bald man, in a similar car and realises what an ass he's making of himself! ********************************************************************* Comments : Chandler & sock jokes again! When Ross & Rachel were having an argument in S2, she said she didn't want her life planned out - has she changed her mind, or could this be a continuity error? The door to Rachel's room has never been replaced since Joey cut it in S3! I'm running out of superlatives to describe how great CCA looks in this season! Annoyed at not seeing the full version of this episode either. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-15 : TOW Joey's New Brain Fairly good episode this week, but one which suffers a lot due to the cuts made from the version shown in the US. Three storylines as usual. The episode starts with Monica, Chandler, Ross & Rachel discussing wedding plans. Ross has a secret idea which he won't reveal yet. Joey comes in and tells them that his DooL (Days of our Lives) character is coming out of his coma. It turns out to be not that simple though - he is getting a brain transplant from another character that is being written out! Ross immediately ridicules this, thinking it's too bizarre even for a soap opera, but Joey says 'I thought you were a scientist'. :) Later, Phoebe & Rachel are checking out a cute guy in Central Perk. Rachel thinks he might be gay, but then a young woman with a HUGE rack walks by, and his reaction proves otherwise! :) When the guy leaves CP, he leaves his cellphone behind, prompting Rachel & Phoebe to argue about what to do with it. Rachel grabs it, taunting Phoebe that she is 'too slow', but then Phoebe retaliates by knocking it out of her hand, replying 'Too cocky'! On the set of DooL, Joey strikes up a conversation with the women whose characters brain he will receive. She was not even aware she was being fired, and responds with her characters trademark - a face slap. Meanwhile, back in CP, R&P decide to check the cellphones speeddial settings to decide who he'd be most compatible with. After immediate family & friends, one of the numbers is Barneys, a NY store that Rachel also has on her speed-dial! Chandler & Monica are sitting eating a meal in their apartment when they hear a hideous noise, which he suggests is the dying cat parade. It turns out to come from Ross's apartment across the street, where he is trying to play the bagpipes since Chandler told him he was half Scottish. Monica moans to C 'Why is your family Scottish', and he responds 'Why is your family Ross'. :) The soap star who slapped Joey has found out it's true she is to be fired, and comes over to Joey to apoligise & they strike up a conversation. She gives him some tips on how to play her character, and they get on so well that they end up snogging! Back at Phoebe's apartment, Rachel accuses her of stealing the guys cellphone, which she denies until Rachel phones the number & hears Phoebe's 'ringing handbag'. As soon as Rachel hangs up, the phone starts ringing - it is the owner trying to find it. Phoebe gives him her address & a time to meet up, hoping to get a date. She completely forgets that Rachel will also be there. Chandler & Monica are trying to dissuade Ross from playing bagpipes at their wedding. He wonders how they knew, and they told him they heard him across the street whereupon he asks them if it were they who called the cops! Their hints fall on deaf ears though, so Monica tells him 'no' to his face. He then asks for a second chance. When the phones owner turns up, he is not what R&P expected - it is a middle- aged man. It turns out the guy they were drooling over in CP was his assistant. There's an even bigger surprise for Rachel when Phoebe says she thinks the older guy is even hotter! Rachel pretends to reluctantly step aside, and extracts a concession from Phoebe for doing so. True to his usual form, Joey has slept with the soap star, and when Rachel arrives back, she immediately calls Monica in to see who Joey has brought home. Monica even asks her to do her trademark face-slap on her, but she says she can't for legal reasons. Joey's first scene with his new brain is to confront the scheming family of the dead brain donor! The show ends with Ross trying to play the bagpipes again, and despite his awful efforts, Phoebe sings along. C&M put their foot down a give an unequivocal 'NO' to him playing at their wedding though. ********************************************************************* Comments : Well, can't think of any actually, at least nothing I haven't said about previous episodes. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-16 : TOW The Truth About London Absolutely great episode this week, easily the best of the 7th Season! Curiously though, it only had two storylines - Phoebe being almost completely absent from the episode. The episode begins with Ross & Ben arriving at Rachel's apartment, Ben having a 'bathroom emergency'. Ross first remembering to check that Joey has left no porn magazines in there. Ben dismays Rachel by calling her Phoebe though. Ross then asks Rachel to look after Ben for an hour, something which she is uneasy about since she hasn't babysat him alone before. He then checks 'will you be OK?' - Rachel says yes, but of course Ross was talking to Ben! :) Down in Central Perk, Chandler & Monica are discussing Ministers for their wedding, but they haven't had any success so far in finding one they want. One was a spitter, and another kept staring at Monica's breasts! Phoebe then mentions that you can now be ordained over the internet, so someone they know could do the ceremony. Joey immediately leaps in and volunteers, but C&M aren't keen. Back at the apartment, Rachel and Ben are sitting around looking bored. Rachel strikes up a discussion about her and Ross, and finds out that Ben has been 'indoctrinated' by Ross to say that he & Rachel were 'on a break'. :) She finally gets Ben's interest by talking about the jokes she and her sisters played on each other, and proceeds to teach Ben a selection of them. Joey is still trying to persuade C&M that he should be their minister, and they finally agree after realising that someone who knows them well would be an advantage. Joey hesitates for a second though while he confirms that internet ministers are allowed to have sex! :) Ben has started using what Rachel has taught him - he put cellophane over Ross's toilet seat, so hen Ross went to pee… ! He also has a black line down his face from another of Rachel's tricks! :) He goes over to confront Rachel, telling her how much he hates practical jokes, and asking her to get Ben to stop them. Joey reads C&M the first draft of his wedding speech, which starts off well, talking about loving & sharing. Unfortunately that is all Joey can think of to say, so he repeats the same theme over & over again. Chandler wonders if the 'spitter' is still available! :) Rachel 'casually' turns up to see Carol, who opens the door to reveal that Ben has played the same black-line trick on her. Rachel looks for Ben, but he leaps up, startling her. When she tries to discourage him, he then drives her nuts by copying her words, especially some language that will not be popular with Ross & Carol! Chandler comes up with the suggestion that Joey should tell the story of how C&M got together in London, but veto's Joey's first crude (but accurate!) version of it. As we know, Monica get drunk because she was upset at the rehursal dinner, but the turns up at Chandler's room not as drunk as we were led to believe at the time. Chandler comforts her by complementing her on how she was the most beautiful girl at the reception, and before you know it, she leaps in and kisses him! He hesitates, but after realising that Monica is not too drunk to know what she is doing, and not finding the kissing weird, they immediately dive into bed together! Beofre they can do anything though, Monica has to hide under the covers as Joey turns up looking for condoms. Chandler asks him to leave one for him, but has an embarrasing task explaining why he needs one when he is (apparently) alone! :) Back in the present day, Phoebe knows something upsetting that Chandler doesn't, about that night, and for no apparent reason, decides to reveal it : It turns out that Monica's original intention was to seek out Joey for a night of meaningless sex, having to settle for Chandler as a 2nd choice. Chanlder, not surprisingly, is very upset about this and walks out to have a think. Rachel has been talking to Ben, urging him to play any more jokes, and telling him her version of the break-up. Ross turns up at this point, and wonders what Rachel is doing there. Her excuse that she is there to see Carol is unconvincing, especially when she can't even remember Carol's surname (Willick). Joey catches up with Chandler in Central Perk, and manages to reassure him that what Chandler now has with Monica, is far more important than any meaningless revalation. Chandler goes off to sort things out with Monica, and they come back as close as ever. :) They can't help speculating on 'What if Monica and Joey had hooked up instaed?' We see a scenario of an obese Joey enjoying Monica's cooking! Ross and Ben turn up at Rachel's apartment, and it appears that Ben has still not stopped his pranks. Ross argues with him about it, and chases him out of the apartment and up the stairs. Rachel follows them, and to her intense horror, sees Ross apparently pushed down the stairs by Ben! It turns out to be payback for Rachel encouraging Ben, as 'Ross' was really a dummy wearing the same clothes as the real Ross. ********************************************************************* Comments : Not much - just to reiterate on what a great episode this was, and the lack of Phoebe, presumably due to massive cuts by E4, or by whoever sends them what they transmit. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-17 : TOW the Cheap wedding Dress Another entertaining episode - that's 5 in a row now, a great improvement from earlier in the season. Again only two storylines this week though. The episode starts in Central Perk, with C&M discussing appitisers for the wedding meal. They cannot decide which of the 12 they want, so pass the matter over to Joey. HE says all of them, plus 3 new ones he invented! There's also the matter of the band - Chandler wants the 'Swing Kings', but in all other aspects of the planning, his job is to 'stay out of the way'! :) Outside of Central Perk, Chandler & Ross spot an attractive woman (Kristen), and Ross decides to ask her out. Chanlder claims he now doesn't have a problem talking to attractive women now he is engaged - soon given the lie by his geekish reaction in front of her! Ross is little better, with a pathetic line in small talk, but he does eventually get a date. Monica is in a store with Rachel & Phoebe, picking out a wedding dress. Another woman comes up to her admiring the dress she is wearing. Her name is Megan Bailey (played by Andrea Bendewald, better known as Maddy in Suddenly Susan). Monica tells he she isn't getting the dress from this shop though, as she knows another, cheaper, place. Rachel then puts her foot in it by accidentally mentioning this fact to the stores owner! :) Later on, Joey spots the same girl Ross has a date with, and also asks her out, unaware that Ross is his rival. The girls have now moved to the cheaper wedding dress shop, where there is a huge scum waiting to get in. Monica has prepared for this though, she issues them each with whistles, which they should use if they find the dress she is looking for. Monica finds the dress herself, but then gets involved in a tug of war with no other than Megan, who wanted the dress for herself! She even threatens to fight Monica over it - a prospect Monica doesn't mind, though she whistles for Phoebe & Rachel anyway. Phoebe caught out though when she hears two whistles, eventually going to one, only to find Rachel cowering away from the dress hunters. When they eventually find Monica, she has already wrestled Megan to the ground, and hands them the dress to them to pay for. In Central Perk, Ross & Joey both tell Chandler about their dates, and he soon realises they are dating the same woman. Chandler then makes his excuses and leaves, but not before getting J&R to tell each other the name of their dates. Only then do they realise they are both dating Kristen! Ross and Joey then have an argument over who should date her, but decide they should each date her once more, and let her decide. Ross suggests they set some ground rules, but Joey fears Ross will outspend him, so he threaten to do what he is best at on dates. They finally agree on a $100 limit. Back at the apartment, the girls are admiring Monica's dress when she gets a call from a vengeful Megan, telling her she has booked the band Chandler really wanted for the wedding, and she'll only cancel in return for the wedding dress! :) Joey turns up at Ross's door before his date to check up on him, and discovers that Ross is bending the spending limit by buying Megan flowers before the date. He's upset, and secretly decides to sabotage the date. The girls decide the only option over the band is to talk Chandler out of it, but their efforts are killed stone dead when Chandler tells them that he & Monica were dancing to the band when he first decided he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Monica (aaahhhh)! Monica's comment of 'Oh crap' acknowledges that she must give up her wedding dress after all. Joey duly turns up during Ross & Kristen's date, and at first pretending not to know him, proceeds to undermine Ross. He fights back, and it rapidly escalates into a vicious mud-slinging tennis match! When they finally break off, they discover that Kristen has left. Monica is trying on the dress for the last time in her room when Chandler arrives back. She warns him not to like it because it is being returned. He actually loves it, but plays along anyway, saying how horrible it is - blissfully unaware of the real reason the dress has to go back. ********************************************************************* Comments : Wasn't the Ross/Joey mudslinging a lot like Monica & Rachel in TOW Two Parts from S1! I don't get why Rachel was hiding in the dress shop - as an experienced 'shopoholic', she should be used to mobs of shoppers. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-18 : TOW Joey's Award A fairly reasonable episode, but not as good as other recent ones. Back to the usual 3 storylines rather than the recent two, though. The episode begins with Joey coming into Central Park at excited - he has been nominated for a 'Soapie' award for 'Best Returning Character'. Phoebe and Monica are underwhelmed though, Monica even asking if it's a real award. Avid soap fan Rachel though immediately recognises the award, and thus gets invited to the presentation ceremony. He also mentions that he is to present an award too. Ross is lecturing about dinosaurs at the university, and asks to see one student about his poor grades. He gets a shock though, when the male student claims to be in love with him! Ross says he'll see what he can do about the grade, while pointing out that he is straight. Monica & Phoebe are in Central Perk when Phoebe mentions there is a guy checking Monica out. Phoebe cheekily suggests Monica should have him as an alternative in case anything happens to Chandler. The guy comes over, and Monica immediately mentions she is engaged, but is horribly embarrassed when he really wants to see Phoebe (which she already realised). In his apartment, Joey is optimistically practicing receiving his award (using a sauce bottle). Rachel catches him doing this, but admits to doing the same thing. She then suggests he should practice a 'graceful loser' face in case he didn't win - something Joey hadn't even considered, and a prospect that upsets him. Phoebe meets up with Monica at her restaurant to tell her how her date went. She's so enthusiastic that it gives Monica wedding jitters when she realise that she'll never have that 'first date' excitement again. Back in J&P's apartment, Ross tells Joey about the male student having a crush on him. Rachel overhears and says she sympathises with the student since she had a crush on one of her tutors when she was 19. The only difference being she slept with her professor! :) Joey and Rachel are now at the awards dinner, and Joey asks if he can hug her when he gets the award. She really wants to get on TV though, and even agrees she can squeeze her ass! When the winner is announced though, it isn't Joey, and he lets out a tirade of language right in front of a TV camera, far too late remembering to put on the graceful loser face! When it comes to his turn to present an award, he is still bitter, and talks in a monotone, only warming slightly when it turns out it is a fellow DooL actor that won it. Since she isn't there, he accepts it on her behalf, but gets stuck and starts reciting his winning speech instead! He then hurries away from the awards dinner, and when Rachel asks him why, it turns out he has stolen one of the awards. Rachel convinces him to take it back as it would be meaningless unless he had earned it - not before she secretly covets the award herself though! Ross gets a further surprise when another male student tells him he has a crush on him, and that the first one was faking infatuation to get better grades, and that he isn't gay after all. Monica is still agonising over relationships, but Phoebe passes on the advice her mother gave her about not telling your partner of such feelings. Monica then points out her lack of credibility, causing Phoebe to change her advice, and also to reveal that she equates making out, with love! Joey & Rachel finally deliver to award to its rightful recipient, only to find her unimpressed since she already has shelves full of more important ones. Joey then decides to give the award to someone who will appreciate it - himself! Monica finally opens up to Chandler about her pre-wedding issues, and how she'll miss that 'new relationship' feeling. Chandler however has a very different view - he regards new relationships with dread, and says the real thrill is the prospect of being with Monica for the rest of their lives. He admits though, that even with Monica, he anxious for 6 months. This feeling briefly returns when she mentions long term issues like children & grandchildren though! Ross confronts the student who tricked him, only to have his words overhead by other professors in such a way that sounded very compromising - causing him to offer the student a passing grade in return for silence. ********************************************************************* Comments : I thought Phoebe's trick on Monica was rather too mean. I didn't like that Ross was comfortable with rigging grades. JA & CCA seem to be having a 'who looks the hottest?' contest this season! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-19 : TOW Ross & Monica's Cousin A funny, but somewhat disturbing episode! The usual three storylines though. We start with Joey in Central Perk telling Phoebe & Monica that he almost certainly has a good part in a movie. He then gets a call from his agent, Estelle, confirming a 2nd call-back, but there's a fly in the ointment - there will be full frontal nudity! At first Joey is enthusiastic, until he realises it will be him naked! He's unsure about it, worried by what his grandmother will think when she sees the movie, otoh Phoebe is brimming with enthusiasm! Monica and Chandler have made a no-sex-until-the-wedding pact, and Ross frustratedly says every woman in America has made one with him! Monica also mentions that their cousin Cassie (who they haven’t seen since they were children) is coming to stay for a few days. A little later, Phoebe & Rachel are chatting, and when Monica sees this, she thinks they are planning a bridal shower - something they had not actually even thought about! When Joey & Monica discuss the nude scene, he tries to justify it to himself by saying it is essential to the plot, then Monica points out that this rationalisation is exactly the same one he uses to justify nudity in porn movies! Back at Phoebe's flat, she & Rachel are panicking over arrangements for Monica's bridal shower. They decide to make fast choices, though many of the ideas that produces are extremely bizarre. Due to their no sex pact, C&M are horny as hell, and they try to find loopholes, including a pretend break-up by meaningless insults. Chandler ruins it by going too far though, and the no-sex pact is back on! At this point Cassie (played by Denise Richards) appears, and she is absolutely STUNNING! Despite his betrothment, Chandler's male hormones take over, and he gawps at Cassie like a love-struck teenager! He's brought back to earth with a bump by Monica though. A somewhat unnerved Cassie moves to Ross's flat instead. On Joey's call-back, he initially things he's been rejected, and starts to go off the handle, but he's soon put right since he has the part. There's yet another catch though - since it is a period piece, the movie director needs the male star not to be circumcised, for authenticity. This is a problem for Joey since he has been! He discusses it with Monica and he tells her he lied about it as you are 'supposed to do' during auditions. She then suggests fashioning a possible solution with double-sides sticky tape & luncheon meat! :) Rachel & Phoebe are still stuck over the party arrangements, especially since they have no guests. Phoebe finds the solution when she 'borrows' Monica's address book (and a little money)! There turns out to be a problem with Cassie staying with Ross - she's so HOT that she even turns Ross on, despite her being his cousin. He ends up staring at her just like Chandler did, but gets away with it (for now) as she thinks he's doing an impression of Chandler. Ross is in mental hell, being tormented by his semi-incestuous feelings, and does he best to cover them (not too successfully). At Monica's bridal shower, Rachel & Phoebe realise they don't know any of the people they've invited - due to the last-minute nature of the party. They then realise there's one very significant person missing - the guest of honour, since both R&P both thought the other was inviting her! At Ross's apartment he and Cassie are sitting down to watch TV, with her still completely unaware of what she is doing to Ross's hormones. Eventually, fueled by wine and an overdose of testosterone, be succumbs and makes a clumsy pass at her. Naturally, she is appalled, and he can come up with nothing better to say than he hasn't had sex for a long time! Monica finally turns up at the party, to apparently find only Rachel & Phoebe there. She then says she doesn’t really mind as she wasn't that keen on having other guests anyway. To her great embarrassment, the other guests then appear from various locations! At the audition Joey's fraud is discovered when his 'extra bit' drops off when he has to appear naked before the director! :) Cassie has moved again, to Phoebe's flat where she should be safe from horny males. Unfortunately though, she has the same effect on Phoebe that she did one Chandler & Ross, and Phoebe even briefly thinks about asking Cassie out! :) ********************************************************************* Comments : The show seems t have had an increasing number of gay or incest jokes on the past season or two - does this show a lack of new ideas? The Ross/Cassie storyline probably had more negative impact in the US than it will here, since relationships between cousins are legal here - though still subject to the 'eww' factor for most people. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-20 : TOW Rachel's Big Kiss An interesting episode this - especially for us 'Joeys' out here! :) As has been the case recently, we start off in Central Perk. Rachel begins the episode by asking 'Who do you think will be the next of us (obviously meaning after C&M) to get married?' Joey, with characteristic dumbness says isn't that going to be C&M? At this point, a young woman comes into CP and asks Gunther about buying ciggies. Rachel recognises her as an old college 'friend' with whom she shared a drunken college make-out session! Joey immediately takes great interest, and Ross comments 'That's two of my wives' :) The wedding preparations continue apace, with Monica now preparing a colour coded seating plan, with pins indicating guests. Chandler is a bit nonplussed at his relatively small allocation. Joey is still fixating on Rachel's 'lesbian' kiss, and she tells him to 'stop picturing it!' It turns out that Monica has not invited Joey's parents to the wedding - which could be a problem since he has already done so! Rachel is helping Chandler find a tuxedo to hire for the wedding, and he is intrigued when he finds some previously worn by famous people. He decides to hire one used by Pierce Brosnan, and he goes into a 007 act! Later, Joey tells C&M that he won't need a tux for the wedding, he is going to officiate in multi-coloured robes! HE also wants to tell Phoebe about Rachel's kiss, but Rachel intervenes asking if Phoebe wants the truth, or Joey's lewd version - she picks the latter! When she is told the story, she flatly refuses to believe it though - saying she just can't picture it, then Joey says you should get inside my head! :) Chandler is disappointed when it turns out that Rachel has been finding a tux for Ross too, and his was worn by Val Kilmer (Batman)! Ross then starts mocking him, and ends up saying that sleeping with Ross's sister in London was a very 007 thing to do! Joey's parents have now declined Monica's late invite because they feel patronised, so he gets Monica to call them back, advising her to blame the post office/Irish for the late invitation. Mel has met up with Rachel, and she's brought Phoebe along to try and convince her that the kiss really happened. Rachel's credibility is damaged though, when Melissa claims to remember nothing about the incident. Phoebe is now convinced that Rachel is BS'ing. Chandler complains to Monica about the tuxedos, saying Ross is Batman, and she replies 'he's kept his secret identity well'. Joey wants the wedding to start slightly late as his parents have a prior engagement, but he's forgetting how obsessive Monica is with punctuality! He says he can cover for a late start though, saying he's a cross between a Minister and an entertainer - a minstertainer! Back at the restaurant, Melissa is still in deep denial over the incident with Rachel, even suggesting that she must have been passed out when it happened! Chandler is finding James Bond's pants too tight for him - seeing double oh & seven when he's wearing them! He then tries on Ross's tux jacket, and finds a ticket in the pocket proving that he only wore it for a movie premiere, not for Batman. Rachel still won't let up on Mel over the incident, and finally takes a drastic measure - she kisses her passionately! This has a bigger effect than she expected - Mel immediately 'comes out' and admits she loves Rachel, but was afraid her feelings weren't reciprocated. A shocked Rachel immediately backs down as gently as she can, saying she's just a great kisser! After Mel leaves, Phoebe then kisses Rachel to find out what the fuss was about! :) Finally Chandler has found a comfortable tux, but finds out it was worn by Diane Keaton! ********************************************************************* Comments : Definitely an episode for guys who like girl/girl action this week! I haven't seen Winona Ryder in many of her movies, but I first saw her in Beetlejuice, and was impressed with her even then. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-21 : TOW the Vows Just a clip show unfortunately, although not bad as clip shows go. Anyway, we start of in C&M's apartment, with Monica reminding Chandler there are only 4 weeks to go, and he replies 'You get louder each week'! They decide they must start writing their vows, and Chandler is dismayed by how fast Monica appears to be writing hers, thinking 'she must love me more - what's wrong with me?', then decides he doesn't want to get into that! Chandler then asks Joey & especially Ross to help, but he points out that while his vows to Carol said he'll love no other woman, hers made no such promise! :) Monica is similarly consulting with Phoebe & Rachel, and contrary to what Chandler thought, her mind is blank too - all she's written is a doodle of herself in her wedding dress. Not a very good drawing either, since Phoebe mistakes Monica's eyes for her breasts. :) The guys advise Chandler to talk about when he first met Monica, but he declines as his first impression wasn't good - cue a flashback from 1987 thanksgiving when Monica was still fat! We then get several flashbacks from Mons pov ; from TOW the Jellyfish (with Monica in her red 2-piece!), and TOW Phoebe's Uterus when Monica teaches Chandler about the 7 erogenous zones (at that time, for Kathy's benefit not hers!) Following that, we get some of Chandlers flashbacks ; TOW the birth (Chandlers 'If we're not married when we're 40') speech, the London 'night of 7 times', the turkey incident where he first tells Monica he loves her, the 'living together' episode & the Proposal. Later, Ross and Joey go to Central Perk, Chandler having thrown them out as Joey had made inappropriate suggestions for Chandler’s vows. Phoebe & Rachel are there already. They look back on C&M's relationship, and say how quickly the time passed, with Ross pointing out that's probably because they hid it for so long - cue more flashbacks : C&M in bath together, first Joey, then Rachel, then Phoebe finding out, then Phoebe's fake seduction of Chandler to get him to admit his relationship with Monica, then finally Ross finding out. Phoebe then points out what the others didn't want to think about - C&M moving on with their lives, and possibly away from the group. Joey is particularly distressed at this : flashback of a big group moment. C&M then arrive with their completed vows. R&P then read Monica's & J&R read Chandler's. Monica's are very moving, even prompting Rachel to ask her to marry her : ), while Chandler's have the guys in stitches. Monica looks up, and Chandler says 'don't worry, we can make yours funnier too'. Finally Chandler has come up with some more emotional vows, but it turns out he's just 'borrowed' Monica's and changed the names! ********************************************************************* Comments : Nothing really, since this was just a clip show ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-22 : TOW Chandler's Dad Nothing special - it only had one real purpose, to introduce Chandler's Dad, the last unseen parent. The episode starts with Rachel wanting to drive Monica's Porsche. She initially pretends that she lets no-one else drive it, but that myth is soon exploded when Rachel finds out she is the only one not allowed, since Monica thinks she is a bad driver! Later, in Central Perk, Ross is teasing Rachel over the car, but won't let her have the keys. When he goes to the toilet, she takes them from his jacket pocket though. Monica asks Chandler why his father hadn't replied to the wedding invitation, only to find that Chandler hadn't invited him. She presses him on this, and he points out that, since he is a drag queen, he might outshine Monica at the wedding! Ross, discovering the Rachel has taken the car keys, immediately leaps on to the car bonnet to stop her driving it. She's determined though, and resists his cajoling & bribery, and eventually a very reluctant Ross has to go along for the ride. In Central Perk, Phoebe introduces Joey to her new boyfriend, Jake. While they are getting acquainted though, Joey gets a shock when he sees that Jake is wearing women's underwear! Meanwhile, Monica has announced that she and Chandler are going to Las Vegas. Initially he thinks they are eloping, and says he's glad because that would bypass all the wedding planning. He soon has to backpedal though, when Monica announces they are going there so Chandler can invite his father to the wedding, and she will not take no for an answer! Joey feels he has to tell Phoebe about her boyfriends 'problem', but it turns out not to be one after all - she knows about it, since she had dared him to do it! She then manipulates Joey into doing the same thing by saying if he's confident in his manhood, he should have no problem doing it either. Ross is alarmed at Rachel's driving, and even more so when she tells him she hasn't got a valid driving licence! Inevitably, a police car appears, and signals them to pull over. Now in Vegas, C&M are in her father's gay club, and he mentions that his father probably won't be pleased to see him either, as Chandler has been ignoring his reconciliation attempts. When the show starts, the star is 'Helena Handbasket' (Kathleen Turner), but when she appears, Chandler tells Monica that 'she' is his dad! Rachel turns on the charm to avoid getting a driving ticket, and surprisingly it works, though the officer tells her that Ross has to drive the rest of the way. A nervous & embarrassed Chandler gets up to leave, but before he can, his father stops him, though initially not realising who he is, as Chandler is turned away. There follows an awkward silence! Back in Central Perk, Joey shows Phoebe that he's not afraid to wear women's underwear, but then makes too big a deal of it, causing Phoebe to take alarm. Chandler's dad breaks the silence, and gets introduced to Monica then, noticing her engagement ring, Chandler has to tell him about the marriage. His father is upset at not being invited, but Chandler makes amends by publicly inviting him. Ross, now driving, is then pulled over for going too slowly, and he even attempts to turn on the charm himself (to the male police officer)! It doesn't get him out of the ticket though! Joey has switched back to normal underwear, and tells Phoebe he needs to chat up a woman immediately. He comes unstuck though, since when he tries, a pair of panties falls out of his sleeve! ********************************************************************* Comments : I'm surprised that Monica had never met Chandler's father before, since she's known Chandler for a dozen years. More gay jokes, but they should have been about Chandler's dad, rather than Joey. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-23 : TOW Chandler & Monica’s Wedding (1) At last we get there! Naturally, there was only one big storyline this week, but unfortunately they threw in a very feeble one for Joey as well. The episode starts in CP, with Monica pointing out this is the last time they’ll be sitting here as six single friends. Absent-mindedly, Phoebe asks what is going to happen to the coffee house then. Chandler then points put that it’ll be the four of them plus the Bings, using lots of clichés to describe Monica, including one she really doesn’t like : ‘the old ball & chain’ – he rapidly changes this to ‘young & hot ball & chain’! :) The others go, and leave Ross to have a word with Chandler. It’s clear this is something important. Ross says he’s telling this to Chandler as Monica’s older brother, rather than as his friend : If Chandler ever hurts Monica in any way, he will hunt him down & kick his ass! This doesn’t get the reaction Ross expects though – Chandler bursts out laughing at the very idea. Even Ross’s insistence he’s serious makes no difference. Back in her apartment, Monica is making a list of the most likely things that could go wrong. It turns out they are all things that Rachel is responsible for! Joey turns up and tells the girls that he gas got a part in a WW1 film, due to the previous actor dropping out. The only trouble is, he thinks the US fought the Nazi’s in that war. As it turns out, the girls don’t really know either. When he gets to the show, it turns out his co-star is Richard Crosby, an Oscar nominee (though Joey mistakenly thinks he actually won that award). When they start rehearsing though, Richard sprays spittle into Joeys face with every word, distracting him. Back at C&M’s apartment, Chandler has an awkward request – his father wants to borrow one of Monica’s pearl necklaces! She then mentions how excited she is that in one day they will be married, and says it’s great how they’ve kept calm during the build-up. She then goes next door to see if Rachel has a pearl necklace. Chandler is also about to leave but then hears Monica’s answering machine message that describes them as a married couple, and this finally hits him, and causes a major freak-out! Ross mentions his ‘elder brother talk’ to the girls too, but their reaction is the same as Chandler’s was. It’s now the rehearsal dinner, and Chandler’s mother talks to him about ‘lots of little Bing’s on the way’, only heightening his pre-wedding jitters! Monica introduces her parents to Chandler’s mother, only for Jack to ask if she is actually his father, since he knew Mr Bing was in drag! :) Nora then turns round to see Chandler’s father dressed in all his finery! The hostility between them is palpable, and he makes a comment about her being too old for the low-cit dress she is wearing, she then responds that he has ‘too much penis’ for the dress *he* is wearing’! :) Ross finds Joey leaving to continue with his film, wearing shades. He makes a sarcastic remark about their not being invented at that time, but Joey completely misses the point. Ross than spots a note that Chandler has left – it merely says ‘tell Monica I’m sorry’ – Chandler has done a runner!! He immediately tells Rachel & Phoebe, and warns them not to tell Monica under any circumstances, and sets off to find Chandler. Back at the film, Joey has finally had enough of his spitting co-star, and confronts him, only to be told that it is an essential part of proper pronunciation. He’s skeptical, but tries it anyway; unfortunately he ends up literally spitting into his co-stars face! Looking for Chandler, Ross asks Gunther if he has seen Chandler – he hasn’t, and it turns out he wasn’t invited to the wedding either! As Ross is leaving CP, he spots his parents sitting there. Judy then says she’d like Gunther to go on her freebie list – causing Ross some anxiety! Joey is caught in a terrible dilemma when he is asked to go back the next day for his film – he knows he will *have* to lose the part since he is the minister performing C&M’s wedding ceremony. Chandler still hasn’t turned up, and Rachel is on the edge of a breakdown. Phoebe drags her into the bathroom to compose herself. She wants tissues, but the only ones available are in the bin! Nevertheless Phoebe gets several of them out, but with the last one, there is a positive pregnancy test! Phoebe immediately says Monica must be pregnant! ********************************************************************* Comments : Looks like Ross may have to hand out that ass-kicking! We find out that Chandler’s father’s name is Charles Monica looked exceptionally hot, even for her – especially in that thin purple top! :) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- S7-24 : TOW Chandler & Monica’s Wedding (2) Continuing right where we left off last week… Phoebe & Rachel are discussing the positive pregnancy test they found, and they agree they must *not* tell Monica. Ross has asked Chandler’s parents if they’ve seen him, but gets the impression they are both interested in him! He then rounds up Rachel & Phoebe for a progress report, and Phoebe insists on going with him because ‘he sucks at finding Chandler’. Rachel is assigned to delaying Monica, and prevent her from finding out that Chandler has disappeared. She is not very convincing though, first of all pretending to be jealous of Monica being married, then suggesting she might become a lesbian, then finally even saying perhaps she should sleep with Joey to alleviate her loneliness! At his film, Joey is desperately trying to get away early, but his director dismisses all of his pleas, saying that they should be finished well before then anyway. Unfortunately for Joey, his co-star comes in absolutely smashed, and proceeds to make a complete cock-up up of his scenes, using up ever more precious time. Meanwhile Ross & Phoebe try to think where the last place Chandler would go would be – and they decide his office. They go there, and of course that is exactly where Chandler is! It turns out that his freak-out is due to his parents bad marriage making him believe that all relationships will fail. Ross finally persuades him to return by suggesting he should take the wedding preparations in tiny steps. Rachel is running out of excuses to delay Monica, and she is becoming suspicious. Rachel finally is about to come clean, but Phoebe turns up in the nick of time to tell her that they’ve found Chandler. A little later, Phoebe is sitting with Chandler’s mother & father, who are glaring at each other. Monica’s parents arrive too, and then we get the first look at Monica in her wedding dress. She looks radiant! Joey is still stuck at his film, and phones up to see what’s happening with Chandler. On being told he is back, he sounds disappointed since that would have got him off the hook. Rachel tells him she will have to look for another minister, which upsets Joey greatly. Ross is now guarding Chandler, helping him get through one step at a time, but eventually there’s only one step left – the marriage itself! Ross lets Chandler step out for some air, but it is cigarette smoke that Chandler actually wants. He hears Rachel and Phoebe coming along, and hides to prevent them finding him smoking – unfortunately he overhears them talking about Monica being pregnant! Rachel’s search leads her to a Greek orthodox minister, where she has to pretend that C&M are Greek to get his cooperation. Ross then goes to where the bride & grooms parents are waiting, and calls out Phoebe to tell her that Chandler seems to have vanished again! It’s not long before they find him though, but before he can explain where he went, Ross tackles him to the ground. When he finally gets the chance to explain, he tells them he knows Monica is pregnant (which is news to Ross), and that he has bought a little baby t-shirt as a gift. He explains that this news, while initially making him freak out again, finally convinced him to go though with the marriage. Back at his film, Joey realizes that, as long as his co-star is around, the producer won’t let him leave, so finally he has to physically remove him from the theatre! We finally get to the ceremony, with Chandler & Monica arriving with their respective parents, and best-man Ross saying it is nice to walk down the aisle knowing it can’t end in divorce. :) C&M spot the replacement minister, and wonder what is going on, but Joey arrives just in time to start the wedding ceremony. The vows are read out, and very moving they are, too – though Joey accidentally lets slip about Chandler’s temporary absence. An unprepared Joey also forgets the exchange of rings until reminded by Ross, but *finally* Chandler & Monica become husband & wife! As they kiss, Chandler tells Monica that he knows Monica is pregnant. This turns out to be a great surprise to her, as the pregnancy test wasn’t hers! We’re left to speculate whose it actually is, though the hints are that it is actually Rachel who is pregnant! ********************************************************************* Comments : Well, we waited a long time, but we finally got there! As great as Monica looked in her wedding dress, I still think she looked even hotter in that thin pink/purple top! :) We’re left with only a small cliffhanger – whose pregnancy test actually was it, and who is that baby’s father! ----------------------------------------------------------------------