Friends S8-01 : TOA ‘I Do’ Well, I have to admit I found this a disappointing start to the new season. Only the Rachel storyline really worked for me. The Chandler dancing one was OK, but the Ross one made me cringe on occasion. The episode starts with wedding photo’s being taken (how they avoid Chandler’s aversion to being photographed, wasn’t dealt with). During this session, Ross confesses to Monica that he heard she was pregnant. She is naturally bemused at this, since she knows she *isn’t*! Phoebe says she saw the pregnancy test, but when Monica tells her it wasn’t hers, Phoebe realizes it must be Rachel’s! Rachel then looks alarmed that her secret will be found out, but Phoebe jumps in and pretends she is pregnant to cover for her. When asked who the father is, she says the first name in her head – James Brolin (despite the fact her is married to Barbera Streisant)! Later, at the wedding reception, Chandler tells Monica he has secretly been taking dancing lessons so he won’t embarrass her. Unfortunately he manages to do so anyway – he has new shoes & the floor is slippery! When Phoebe & Rachel are alone next, she questions her as to who the father is, but she refuses to say until she has told him, despite repeated prompting. Joey has changed from his WW1 costume into the only available alternative – tennis clothes. This leads to him hitting on a girl while pretending to be a coach! Ross meanwhile has met an attractive woman, and tries (badly) to chat her up. Her name is Mona, and she works at Monica’s restaurant. Despite Ross’s ineptness, she is interested in him, and Ross switches tables to sit with her. Chandler’s mother introduces him to her new boyfriend, Dennis Phillips, who is a Broadway director – which immediately gains actor Joey’s interest. When the meal begins, Ross fins to his horror that he is sat at the children’s table with his son Ben (and a number of others). He’d got table 6 & 9 mixed up! Chandler wants to swap shoes with Joey, until he finds out Joey has unusually small feet! When Monica catches up with Rachel, she comments on how careless Phoebe must have been to let herself get pregnant, and Rachel is forced to defend herself by proxy, since she apparently *had* taken all the usual precautions, but had just been unlucky. Monica then alarms her even more by pointing just how difficult raising a child as a single mother can be. During this, Rachel accepts a glass of champagne, then realizes she can’t drink it while pregnant, and spits it out. Monica spots this, and as Phoebe arrives, puts two & two together and realizes that it is really Rachel who is pregnant. The girls then go off to retest Rachel. Ross, trapped at the children’s table, tries to arrange a dance with Mona, but gets asked to dance successively by several of the little girls seated at his table, including an overweight homely one! Fortunately Mona thinks this is sweet, rather than creepy (as I did). Chandler is practicing dancing by himself, but Joey turns up and starts pestering him about putting a good word to the Broadway director via his mother. Chandler had done so, but spoiled it by mentioning Joey was a soap actor. To try and make up for this, Joey overacts during his toast to Chandler & Monica, making him look unstable, rather than sincere. All his efforts turn out to be futile though, since the director’s current project has an all Chinese cast! When Chandler finally gets a chance to dance, all his lessons fly out of the window and he goes into his old arm jiggling routine that Monica hates. Jack Gellar even accuses him of stealing his moves! Rachel has taken another pregnancy test, and when the result comes through Phoebe tells her it is negative, making Rachel upset when realizes she wanted to be pregnant after all. Phoebe then announces Rachel really *is* pregnant, she played a trick so that Rachel would find out her true feelings! Ross is recovering from having his feet crushed from dancing with the overweight little girl when Joey starts to make a move on Mona, Ross immediately puts a stop to that though, by telling her about Joey’s unusually small feet. Comments -------- The usual – how hot Monica looks. :) I was creeped out by the Ross dancing with little girl’s scene. Is Phoebe being a good friend, or following her own secret agenda? Where was Chandler’s dad? Ben was very quiet. Who is the father of Rachel’s baby? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Friends S8-02 : TOW the Red Sweater A better episode this week, though I still found parts of the photo story farcical. We start with the gang checking out of the hotel. First Phoebe & Rachel, then Chandler & Monica dispute items on their bills, including porn movies, but the culprit was Joey who had obviously sneaked in while they were elsewhere & ordered them! Monica is also suffering from a sense of anticlimax, now her wedding is over, and Chandler struggles to find something to cheer her up. He finally reminds her about the first batch of wedding photos. Ross is still in his room, apparently because he always likes to get his *full* money’s worth from his stay. Rachel mentions that this quirk was even the cause of the best sex she ever had with Ross! Chandler goes up to ask Ross what he did with the hotels complementary disposable cameras, on which he had taken a number of photos, only to find Ross stealing half the rooms contents! He denies all knowledge of Chandler’s cameras though, which puts Chandler in a real flap. Back at home Monica is surrounded by wedding presents which she is desperate to open, but she promised Chandler they would open together. She finally justifies to herself and Phoebe that it will be OK to open a little one – a salt shaker – and as it may be part of a pair, says she’d better find the other one. She cheats though, and opens a giant present! Rachel arrives, and Phoebe remembers that Chandler still thinks she is pregnant, and feels a little upset that he’s paying her no attention. She even says she’s sorry for the woman he ends up with – despite Monica sitting right next to her! Rachel says she is about the tell the father of her baby about it, but Phoebe alarms her by telling her how big a deal it will be for him, something Rachel hadn’t even considered. Joey enters, and Rachel asks him what *he’d* do if he was told he’d got a girl pregnant? He immediately panics, asking which girl it was, but it quickly reassured it is not one of his girlfriends who is pregnant. Still covering for Rachel, Phoebe claims it is her that is pregnant, and the father doesn’t want anything to do with the baby. An indignant Joey then rushes off to ‘persuade’ the father to do the right thing, but Phoebe has just given him a random name as a red herring. Back at the hotel Chandler & Ross’s photo search proves futile, and Ross suggests they fake some replacement photos using the furniture that remains from the wedding. Chandler then jokes about the irony of Ross giving out wedding advice! In Central Perk, Phoebe is still trying to get Rachel to identify the father, even asking if it is Gunther (who looks up, perhaps wistfully). :) Back at the apartment, Monica cannot resist opening more presents, and though she implores Joey to help her stop, it is useless. When Phoebe arrives back, Joey makes a remarkably sweet gesture – he asks Phoebe to marry him so she won’t be left a single mother! Phoebe even accepts, but Monica can stay silent no longer, telling Joey that it is Rachel who is actually pregnant – rather annoying Phoebe! Monica asks how she thought she he wouldn’t notice that she wasn’t actually pregnant, Phoebe points out that it *is* Joey they’re talking about! Joey then says he has an idea of who the father is, he saw Rachel with someone about a month back, though he didn’t know exactly who. He then leaves disappears, leaving Phoebe & Monica in suspense. They follow him out, and he returns holding a red sweater he says belongs to the father. Phoebe then says she knows who it is, but also leaves before completing the story! Ross & Chandler are managing, with difficulty, to get their fake photos taken, but their scheme hits a big snag when Ross is nearly forced to make a speech at another couples wedding. He just manages to make an excuse & escape. Phoebe, jumping the gun, has invited who she thinks is the father to Central Perk, and persuades Rachel to tell him. When Rachel enters the coffee house though, she sees Tag in there! Phoebe takes the red sweater over to ask about it, but Tag is already wearing his red sweater, proving Phoebe has made a BIG mistake – she wishes the ground will open up & swallow her! Tag is happy to see Rachel though, saying he wants to get back together with her, and he is ready for greater commitment, but when Rachel drops his bombshell, he is taken aback! Fortunately she gives him the opportunity to leave – which he very rapidly takes advantage of. Back at the apartment, Monica has opened up ALL the presents, and is wondering what Chandler will say when he finds out. When Rachel gets back, she mentions that Tag is not the father, at which point Joey makes a fool of himself by making his second proposal of the day, to Rachel. This upsets Phoebe a little, and she refuses to relinquish the ring. Rachel of course turns Joey down, then he in turn looks somewhat aggrieved. Chandler & Ross arrive back with the fake photos, including one of Chandler kissing a woman very similar to Monica, only to find Monica has the missing cameras! At this point Chandler notices the open presents. The potential row is prevented though, when C&M agree that the kiss and the presents offset, and seal the incident closed with high fives! Chandler leaves soon after, followed by Ross, who spots the red sweater on the table & claims it, saying it had been missing for a month. A shocked Monica & Phoebe immediately realize that ROSS must be the father of Rachel’s baby!!! As usual, it takes Joey somewhat longer to put 2 & 2 together, but he has the same reaction once he does! Comments -------- Great end to the episode, but one that raises a lot of questions – most notably, how did it happen! Also, are Joey & Phoebe actually still engaged? Who actually knows what about the situation? C&M’s future looks good if they can defuse potential trouble as well as they did. ---------------- Friends S8-03 : Tow Rachel Tells… Quite a good episode this week, with three sub-plots. Naturally though the Ross/Rachel one was dominant. The episode starts with Chandler & Monica about to leave on their honeymoon, and as usual Monica has taken charge, doing all the packing – including the Speedo’s Chandler denies owning! :) Rachel arrives, and says today is the day she will tell her baby’s father the news. She doesn’t get the expected reaction though, and Joey, Phoebe & Monica confess they already know that Ross is the father, and all four of them join in a group hug! Rachel then asks their advice on how to break the news, but she has already pretty much worked it out. Chandler emerges from the bedroom where he has missed all the action, and then Monica breaks the news to him, to his great surprise, since he hadn’t even known that Rachel was pregnant, let alone that Ross was the father! Monica then said she’d kept it from him as he was terrible at keeping secrets, which, remarkably he denies! Back in their own apartment, Joey suggests that since C&M are married, and R&R are having a baby, he & Phoebe should do something. She replies with by casually flirting back. Phoebe then discovers she has left her guitar in C&M’s apartment, and that they have tricked both her & Joey into giving up their keys, since Joey made a mess last time. They then take a rather extreme measure to get in, telling Mr Treegar that they think there is a gas leak in C&M’s apartment, expecting him to open it with a spare key. Ross then arrives, and breaks the news to Phoebe & Joey that he & Rachel had slept together a month before. He instantly realizes from their lack of reaction that they already knew. P&J then tell him that Rachel is looking for him, and he jumps to the self-centred conclusion that she wants to restart their affair. C&M arrive at the airport, and while booking in, find themselves behind another honeymooning couple who get given special privileges. When C&M ask though, there is nothing left for them. Back at C&M’s apartment, Mr Treegar is dealing with the locked door – by having the fire brigade axe it in! He explains to J&P that if he tried all the keys, he might be responsible for (another) apartment building burning down! C&M are still trying to get 1st class privileges, only to be thwarted by the same couple, this time in the airport lounge! When Ross arrives back at his apartment, he finds Rachel there waiting for him. They go in and he immediately starts on his should we/shouldn’t we speech about their relationship, only to be shocked into silence when Rachel breaks the news that she is pregnant & he is the father! After a *very* long pause, he starts to wonder how it happened, since he was using a condom, only to be shocked again when Rachel tells him they are only 97% reliable. Unable to focus on the really important issue, he goes into a tirade about the lack of warning on condom boxes, only to find the warning *is* there. Back at C&M’s apartment, Phoebe asks Treegar not to tell C&M what happened to their door, only for him to remind her he’ll have to change the lock anyway. Ross rushes round to see J&P to tell them the news, and this time they are prepared enough to exhibit the right amount of mock surprise. When Ross mentions to Joey about the condom failure rate though, Joey is at least as shocked as Ross was, also denying that the warning exists, until he pulls a huge string of condoms from his pocket to check! C&M having arrived at their hotel, again find the same couple ahead of them apparently stealing all the privileges! This time, even Chandler is annoyed enough to speak up, and the couple happily concede the honeymoon sweet to them, since unlike C&M they are only interested in each other, not ‘the stuff’. Later, Joey rings C&M up at the hotel, having concocted an alibi to cover them over the damaged door, giving them a garbled version of what happened – the truth, but not the whole truth and nothing but the truth! :) Ross, trying to make up for his earlier lapse, goes along with Rachel to see her getting her sonogram. He apologizes to her, only to mess it up somewhat by suggesting they get married – prompting Rachel to say ‘Is that your answer to everything’! :) He only did it because he assumed Rachel couldn’t cope on her own, citing she couldn’t even eat a meal alone. She counters by saying it is Ross who eats too fast, though his excuse is that, when he was growing up, he had to rush to avoid Monica eating everything! :) When the sonogram is taken, they hold hands, but Rachel gets upset since she cannot make out her baby on the picture. Ross points it out to her, but when showing the picture to the rest of the gang later, she loses it again! Comments -------- What is the back-story to Mr Treegar’s previous accident, I wonder? You’d have thought Joey, of all people would know all about condoms! Monica seems to be infecting Chandler with her obsessiveness (or he has given up tackling her on it). How will Joey explain the broken chair? What will happen with Ross & Rachel now? ---------------- Friends S8-04 : TOW the Videotape Not a bad episode, but a little less entertaining than last weeks. Chandler & Monica have arrived back from honeymoon, and Chandler appears to be particularly sweet, but it turns out to be a ploy to protect a shell necklace that Monica doesn’t like. Before C&M can get into their own apartment, Joey & Phoebe intercept them, apparently to see what gifts they’ve been bought. They are disappointed when C&M say there are none then, oddly, jealous when C&M talk about a couple, Greg & Jenny, they met on the plane. When they finally get back to their own apartment, Rachel arrives and naturally the first thing Monica wants to know is how Ross & Rachel’s liaison happened! They say it happened 6 weeks previously, and start to explain : Rachel had arrived at her apartment stressed out from work & wedding plans to find Ross there. They have a little wine, then Rachel claims Ross made the first move, which he vehemently denies. After a short argument, Ross lets slip that he can prove he was right since he taped the whole incident! Soon after, C&M try to call their holiday friends, only to find the number they were given was incorrect. This causes Joey & Phoebe great amusement, telling Monica they have been ‘fake-numbered’. C&M are left bemused by this, both believing they’d done nothing to off-put the other couple. We then jump back to 6 weeks previously, with Ross confiding to Joey that he is in a very dry spell sexually. Joey then teaches him a story he says will be a dead cert for getting sex, involving Barcelona, back-packing, a lake & women bathing. Later that night Ross tries the story on his date, only to find that she knows the region involved, destroying the mystique of his tale! His date ruined, he rushes over to complain to Joey, but Joey says it must have been Ross’s poor delivery, and suggests he practice in front of Joey’s video camera. Ross thanks him for the advice, and says he would return the favour if necessary. This momentarily leaves Joey incensed at the mere suggestion he’d have sexual problems, but soon realizes the sincerity behind Ross’s offer. Ross starts the tape, and just after that, Rachel arrives. Seeing she is stressed out, he goes to help her, completely forgetting the camera is still running! Back in the present, C&M are starting to obsess about the incorrect phone number, even starting to blame each other for putting off the other couple. Monica saying Chandler made too many jokes, he that she asked too many questions! Rachel arrives at C&M’s apartment, and Joey tries to convince her it was an honest mistake. Rachel is unconvinced, saying to Joey ‘How would you like it if I taped us having sex?’ Joey’s enthusiastic reaction was highly predictable! :) Ross then arrives with the sex tape, and hands it over for Rachel to destroy. To her surprise, the others stop her though, wanting to see who led whom on. Ross, wanting to protect her from embarrassment, says she shouldn’t play it, but she misinterprets this as an admission he was in the wrong, and insists the tape be played. She should have kept quiet, as the tape incriminates her, instead! Firstly, it shows she forgot to deliver some of the wedding invitations, then worse, it shows she led Ross on with the very same backpacking story that Joey had taught Ross! :) Later that same day, R&R are together in their apartment, manage to settle their differences, and admit to each other they want to watch the sex part of the tape! At long last C&M manage to contact their new friends, finding out they’d been given the wrong number by accident, but ending up by being given the brush-off again (which they fail to realize). Comments -------- Were their new friends the same couple that kept beating C&M to honeymoon privileges last week? Err… both Monica & Rachel looked even HOTTER than usual this week! (OK, you got me – I couldn’t think of any more real comments)! :) ---------------- Friends S8-05 : TOW Rachel’s Date Quite a good episode, but as often happens, let down by one of the three storylines – Chandler’s specifically. The episode starts at Monica’s restaurant. Phoebe is also there, and she starts to flirt with a cute sous-chef (Tim). After a few seconds of this, Monica says he’ll give her Phoebe’s phone number if only he’ll get back to work! At this outburst, the rest of her staff expects her to put some money in her anti-yelling jar, but she exclaims loudly that she wasn’t yelling! :) Next we see Chandler at ‘work’, asking his boss how to bypass the company protection against accessing porn sites. Fortunately his boss thinks he is joking! Ross arrives, and suggests they hang out somewhere. Soon after a guy passes Chandler and says ‘Hi Toby’. At Ross’s puzzled look, he explains they guy has called him this for 5 years, but that it isn’t a big deal since they don’t work together. He’s just glad he doesn’t call him Muriel. Ross then realizes what Chandler’s middle initial M stands for, and exclaims the Chandlers parents never game him a chance! :) Joey still has his role in Days of our Lives, though his next plot involves more unlikely medical techniques to stop his body rejecting Jessica’s brain! Rachel is also there, but when she enquires about future plots, Joey neither knows nor cares. She then spots a handsome actor, and Joey introduces him as Kash. Though she denies it, Rachel’s knowledge of Kash’s character reveal she is a soap opera nut! Now in Central Perk, Monica & Phoebe are discussing her date with Tim, and Monica tells her she’s going to have to fire Tim as he’s incompetent, even having burned the pastry chefs hair. Phoebe successfully pleads for Tim to have another chance though. She ends up by mistaking Monica’s new haircut for a side-effect of the pastry chef fire! Back at their apartment, Joey tells Rachel that Kash likes her but he turned down a date on her behalf because she is pregnant. She tells him this won’t be a problem for her, fortunately Joey was perceptive enough not to reveal Rachel’s condition to Kash. Back at work, Chandler is caught in a quandary – his boss wants to promote Bob to Chandler’s department, and the only way Chandler can avoid the wrong-name confrontation is to undermine Bob. Back at C&M’s apartment, Monica tells Phoebe she *must* fire Tim, as he hasn’t improved. Phoebe says she can’t as she’s about to dump him for being too clingy, and it would be too upsetting along with being fired. They eventually decide he’ll have to get over it, but then they argue about who’ll break their bad news to him first. Whoever goes second will be the bitch! Phoebe appears to concede, but it’s a trick, and she rushes off to be first! Bob catches up to ‘Toby’ at work to moan about his lost promotion. Leaving Chandler even more trapped & guilty than before. Ross arrives to see Rachel at her apartment, and is dismayed that she is dating while carrying his child, though he daren’t reveal that to her. He blames Joey, and then has a freak-out over Rachel taking his unborn child into (largely imaginary) danger. Ross also thinks the dress she is wearing is too slutty, but Joey prevents him from getting into trouble by telling her. In Central Perk, Phoebe is just about to break up with Tim, when Monica pages him. Phoebe knows what she’s up to, but can’t stop him leaving. Ross is still hanging around with Joey on flimsy pretexts, really intending to check up on Rachel. His concern is more about his baby though, even imagining Kash as the baby’s stepfather, until Joey points out that Ross is the one who rushes into marriage! As it turns out though, Ross’s real concern is of missing his baby growing up, as he has with Ben. He has a picture in his mind of a normal family life, and reality isn’t matching up to it. An unusually insightful Joey manages to allay his fears somewhat, though. Back at Chandlers office, Bob wants to know who this Chandler is that ruined his promotion. A guilty Chandler now tries to own up, but Bob thinks ‘Toby’ is trying to cover for him. At the restaurant, Monica is just about to fire Tim, when Phoebe arrives. They bit the bullet and both break the news together. Tim handles it surprising well, and a guilty Monica relents, expecting Phoebe to give him a second chance too. She doesn’t, however, leaving Monica scowling at the double-cross. Ross spots Rachel on the street, and asks her how her date went. She tells him it sucked, because she told Kash she was pregnant, and she’s now going to stuff herself with comfort-candy! Ross takes her to one side and cheers her up with the Chandler middle-name story. He then comforts her with tales of parenthood, and they end up valuing their friendship as much as ever. Ross then goes into Central Perk, and finds Mona there, the attractive woman he’d met at C&M’s wedding. Rachel then enters CP looking thoughtful, but we may never know what she was going to say, as she sees Ross talking to Mona. She slinks quietly off, looking a little upset. Bob has now found out which Chandler’s office is, and is busy trashing it when Chandler himself arrives. To cover himself, Chandler begins to help destroy his own office! Comments -------- The yelling jar must be getting half Monica’s wages. :) Three middle names down, three to go! Chandler seemed somewhat out of character. Thought Red Ross might be back, but fortunately not. Nice sensitive moments from both Ross & Joey. ---------------- Friends S8-06 : TOW the Halloween Party Another reasonable episode, and with one outstanding feature (guess what!) :) The episode starts in Central Perk, with Monica telling the others that she and Chandler are going to have a Halloween party. She reminds them they will need costumes. Joey isn’t keen, saying he doesn’t like pretending to be something he’s not – then Chandler points out that he is an *actor*! Ross wants to bring Mona, but he knows Joey is also interested in her, so he pleas with Joey to let him take her! Out in the street, Phoebe runs into her twin sister Ursula, and when she finally acknowledges her presence, Ursula tells her she is getting married. She reluctantly invites Phoebe, and Phoebe returns the favour by inviting Ursula to the Halloween party. When the party starts, Rachel turns up in a new dress, rather than a costume. When Monica asks her why, she says she wants to wear it while she still can! Monica herself is in a mind-boggling skin-tight catsuit!!! When some trick or treaters turn up, Rachel deals with them, but is rather generous with the candy. Phoebe then turns up, wearing a Supergirl costume. Next is Chandler, he is wearing a pink bunny costume! It was supposed resemble the character from his favourite book (The Velveteen Rabbit) but instead he just looks like the Easter bunny! He is not happy about it, and he takes some ribbing too. Joey arrives, apparently not in costume, but he is actually pretending to be Chandler! This leads to yet more teasing of Chandler. Another trick or treater turns up – a little girl dressed as a ballerina. Rachel is again generous with the candy, and when the little girl says she loves Rachel, she gets *all* the candy! Phoebe then quips ‘If that is what usually happens when someone says that, no wonder you got pregnant’! :) Finally Ross turns up dressed as a potato, with a colander on his head. No-one can work out what he’s supposed to be, so he’s forced to explain : he’s the first Soviet satellite ‘Spud-nik’! Chandler is relieved that his is not the worst costume any longer. A young man turns up, and immediately slaps Phoebe’s butt and asks for a kiss. It turns out to be Ursula’s fiancé Eric, and he mistook her for Ursula. Rather than being offended, Phoebe is attracted to him. Over to one side, Joey and Monica are discussing who would win a fight between Supergirl & Catwoman. Joey says Catwoman, but that Monica would lose a fight with Phoebe because she is streetwise & has a temper. Monica retaliates by saying Ross or Chandler could win a fight against Joey. This amuses him! When yet more trick or treaters come, Rachel is out of candy, so she’s forced to start handing out cheques! Ross’s date Mona turns up in a nurse’s costume, which Chandler thinks is a slutty nurse’s costume. When told otherwise, he says that’s OK, he’s already maxed out on embarrassment. Ursula arrives at the party, and when Phoebe asks when they met, it turns out it was only 2 weeks ago, and what is worse, she has lied to Eric about everything! Chandler & Ross start an argument about their costumes, and when it starts to get a little heated, Joey says they might be about to find out the answer to his earlier question - who would win a fight between them. They calm down though, and decide to settle for an arm wrestling contest. Rachel has sent Gunther out for fresh supplies of candy, and when he gets back, she says he is sweet. His smile immediately turns to dismay though, when Rachel casually assumes he is gay! :) The next trick or treater is given candy, but he has heard Rachel was handing out money, and isn’t pleased. He than calls Rachel a mean old woman, forcing her to chase after him to make amends. The arm-wrestling contest is soon to start, and Monica says to Chandler that his character is why she married him. Chandler says this means nothing to him, though. When Ursula is about to leave, Phoebe confronts her about her lies, only for Ursula to make her look daft again in front of Eric. The couple then leave. The arm-wrestling contest takes place, but Ross & Chandler are evenly matched, and it drags on for a long time. Chandler finally allows Ross to win, so he can impress Mona and prevent Joey from moving in on her. Unexpectedly, Eric returns to collect the handbag Ursula left behind. Phoebe has had enough of Ursula’s deception, and lets him know he’s been lied to. She shows him proof in the form of Ursula’s waitress tag, and driving licence. He realises what a fool he has been, then there is a definite spark between him & Phoebe before he leaves to break up with Ursula. Rachel has had to bribe the last trick or treater, and this leads her to think she is bad with kids. Joey tries to reassure her, but his well-meaning comments just increase Rachel’s insecurity. At the end of the party, Chandler admits to Monica that he lost on purpose, and when he asks Ross to confirm it, he gets double-crossed, so Monica thinks he’s lying. Aggrieved, he challenges Monica to an arm-wrestling contest. He soon regrets this, as his arm is still weak from before! Comments -------- Monica’s catsuit – WoooooHooooo! Is Ursula still working at Riffs? Monica’s catsuit! Definitely worth another mention! :) ---------------- Friends S8-07 : TOW the Stain Not that good an episode this week. The Phoebe & the Ross storylines were weak. The episode begins in Chandler & Monica’s apartment. She arrives home to find the apartment has been cleaned, and declares that ‘nagging works’! Chandler says it wasn’t him that did it, and before he can tell her he hired a maid to do it, she wonders if she’s been sleep-cleaning again? :) Monica isn’t enthusiastic about the idea of a maid, but she relents when Chandler tells her the maid likes her sponge arrangement! Down in Central Perk with Ross & Rachel, Phoebe is annoyed by the ringing of a cell phone until she realises it is hers. It turns out to be Ursula’s ex-fiancé Eric, to ask Phoebe on a date. She wonders how he got her number, and he says he has a friend in the police. She plays hard to get to make him think better of her, but finally agrees to see him at his apartment. It is now his turn to be curious as to how she knows where that is, but Phoebe says she has friends too… Rachel tells Ross that she is looking for a new apartment, as she doesn’t want her baby’s first words to be Joey’s catch-phrase of ‘How’re you doin’?’. :) Ross says there is an apartment available in his building as a woman has just died. She feigns regret, but is more interested in the view! She & Ross go to check out the apartment, to be embarrassed to find the woman isn’t dead yet. Ross is forced to pretend to know the dying woman (who is Dutch) to cover their tracks. Monica has now met the new maid, and is pleased when she complements her special cleaning mixture, but won’t tell anyone, even Chandler, the secret ingredient. When the maid leaves on an errand though, Monica claims she has stolen her jeans, and that she can prove it by an ink stain on the crotch of the jeans! A sensible & sceptical Chandler tells her she should be given the benefit of the doubt. Phoebe turns up at Eric’s apartment, only to find that he can’t look at her because she looks the same as Ursula. He leans down to do something to his eyes, and Phoebe exclaims ‘don’t dig your eyes out!’. He’s just removing his contact lenses though, so he can look at Phoebe without being reminded of Ursula. It doesn’t work, but kissing Phoebe does! In Central Perk, Ross is trying to learn a few Dutch phrases, and says them out loud to Gunther. He’s surprised when he replies in fluent Dutch, and upsets Gunther when he doesn’t ask for further help. He’s then forced to turn to his phrase book when Gunther throws a Dutch insult at him! Joey then arrives with Knicks tickets, and Ross lets slip that Rachel is planning to move out. Monica is starting to obsess about the ‘stolen’ jeans, but when leaning over to check for stains, topples right over and has to pretend she fell asleep! She then goes to even more bizarre lengths, asking the maid to clean the top shelves, then sneaking up and trying to peer between her legs. She gets caught again, leaving the maid thinking she is gay! Back at their apartment Joey begins his campaign to persuade Rachel not to leave. As it turns out she wants to leave for Joey’s sake, as having a baby around would make it difficult for him when he invites girlfriends round. He responds that he’d relish the challenge as dating is becoming too easy! She says he’s sweet to want her to stay, and he responds by saying Rachel is hottest roommate. Back at Eric’s apartment, he & Phoebe are making out, be she has to leave for a massage client. He offers to pay her to stay but she says she’s got into trouble for doing that before! Monica tells Chandler that he should give the maid a raise because of the head- between-legs incident, then notices that the maid appears to have stolen one of Monica’s bras too! She manoeuvres Chandler into trying to check whether it is her bra, explaining she can’t do it herself because the maid now thinks Monica is a lesbian! Ross returns to the dying woman’s apartment and practices his Dutch, only to get trapped into going in. When Phoebe returns to Eric’s apartment, she finds him knackered. To her horror she finds out that Ursula had returned, and that Eric had slept with her, thinking she was Phoebe! This turns out to be too weird for them both, so they go their separate ways. Chandler tries to check whether the maid’s bra is actually Monica’s, but gets caught out. This is too much for the maid who now thinks both Monica & Chandler are interested in her! Monica soon runs into Rachel outside their apartments, and finds out to her horror that it is Rachel who took Monica’s missing jeans, and worse, the she herself is wearing the bra she thought the maid had stolen! At this point, the maid rushes past them – to nobody’s great surprise, having quit! When Rachel enters her apartment, she finds that Joey has decked it out with baby stuff, including a salvaged crib, in order to persuade Rachel to stay. She thinks that he’s even giving the baby his penguin pal Hugsie, but he grabs it back, saying he was just pretending it was the baby. She’s finally convinced to stay, but has to get rid of the crib fast as there’s something already living in it! Ross then arrives, saying he has secured the apartment for Rachel after the old woman died, only to have the disappointment of finding that Rachel is staying put. Comments -------- Monica always looks best with her hair long IMO. Still no sign of Rachel’s bump showing, but can’t be long now… Does any episode go by now without gay jokes? :) ---------------- Friends S8-08 : TOW the Stripper I’m sorry to say this week’s episode was not a good one. The Chandler/Joey/Monica was weak, and the Ross/Rachel/Phoebe one was just painful. Rachel and Phoebe are talking in Central Park, and R asks P if she was to go to dinner with her father. For some reason P thinks she is being set up on date, as she likes Dr.Green! R quickly corrects her, saying she just needs her there as moral support as she is going to tell her father she is pregnant. P then recognises a man in CP as the stripper from Monica’s (secret) hen party. Chandler is aghast, as Monica had prevented *him* from having a bachelor party! Later, at the dinner Dr.Green goes to order chicken, but vegetarian Phoebe turns it down. Dr Green somehow interprets this as her being a lesbian! The meal starts off badly as the wrong wine is sent, putting Dr.Green in a bad mood even before Rachel’s news. Rachel starts to waffle, telling her father she has Tivo, then Phoebe jumps in saying that Tivo means pregnant! When asked who the father is, Rachel says Ross, then Dr Green follows up asking about the wedding date. Rachel is trapped, and not wanting to tell her father the truth, she gives a fake date. Meanwhile, Ross is still dating Mona, and she’s very tactful about falling asleep during Ross’s lectures. Chandler then quips about Ross’s boring lectures ‘My God, you must be good in bed!’ :) Ross then admits he hasn’t told Mona about fathering Rachel’s baby yet. A guilty Monica decides to throw Chandler a bachelor party, as a 2 month anniversary present! A happy Joey is invited too, but Ross has a date with Mona. Back at the restaurant, Phoebe tells Rachel she has to come clean, but when Dr.Green returns to the table, she acts like a real bitch, and tells her father that Ross turned her down ‘as damaged goods’. He then flies into a rage and goes off to confront Ross! Back at the apartment Chandler & Joey are awaiting the stripper, but Chandler is unenthusiastic, especially when Joey tries to set the mood by pretending Chandler isn’t married. When the woman arrives though, there turns out to be a problem – she is not a stripper, but a hooker! They think it might be a joke, with Monica & Ross in on it, so they phone Ross to check. Ross and Mona are at his apartment kissing when Dr.Green shows up. He immediately launches into a tirade, accusing Ross of toying with Rachel’s affections, and irresponsibly getting her pregnant. Mona of course hears this, and is upset at Ross for not telling her. Poor Ross is now caught in between Mona and Dr.Green, both of whose opinion of him is falling every second. Inevitably, at that moment Ross gets the phone call from C&J asking him if he knows about the stripper. Unfortunately he has the speakerphone set, allowing Mona & Dr.Green to hear, and he slumps down in despair! Monica is working at her restaurant talking about the bachelor party, when the waiter who gave her the stripper’s number tells her she’s actually sent Chandler a hooker instead! She immediately charges home in panic! Chandler & Joey are still wondering what to do about the hooker, when Joey says he misses how he & Chandler used to hang out together. They agree to make time to do so in future. Just after this, Monica gets back, blurting out what J&C already know – that the ‘stripper’ is actually a Hoare. When Ross manages to escape from his apartment, he goes round to tell Rachel to set the record straight. Phoebe gets a good vantage point, expecting a fight! Rachel agrees to tell her father & Mona the truth in person, or by email – naturally Ross is not satisfied with the latter option! Phoebe, disappointed with the quick solution, then tries to stir up trouble for her own entertainment. Mona agrees to meet Ross, but isn’t keen when Rachel is there too. Fortunately Rachel is able to straighten things out with a very understanding Mona. Chandler finally gets to see a stripper – Monica does it for him, but not very well! Rachel finally phones her father to tell the truth about her & Ross, and has to pay by suffering an hour-long berating from him. Comments -------- We didn’t see enough of Monica’s striptease. :) Did the waiter give Monica the wrong number deliberately? You had to feel so bad for Ross – Rachel was being a right bitch for a while, and Phoebe wasn’t much better. Why on earth did Rachel’s father think Phoebe was a lesbian? More Joey & Chandler scenes from now on? Ross really needs to hang onto Mona, she must be a saint to put up with everything she has! ---------------- Friends S8-09 : TOW the Rumour A little better than last week, but even the special guest-star couldn’t help that much. The episode begins in Joey & Rachel’s apartment, with him teasing her about pregnancy ‘facts’. Phoebe has brought over some of her old maternity clothes for Rachel, telling her they’ll expand, and they’re also good for shoplifting melons. Monica comes in to remind them about her Thanksgiving party, and to tell them she has invited an old school friend whom she ran into – Will Colbert. She says he used to be even larger than her, but has slimmed down dramatically, and looks great. Joey coughs, and reminds Monica she is married now! Monica then dismays Joey by telling him she’s not cooking a turkey this year, since only she, Joey & Ross would be eating it. Joey practically begs her to change her mind, and she finally agrees when Joey insists he can finish it off in one sitting! We now move to Monica’s apartment where she is preparing the meal. A crafty Chandler avoids helping by pretending to be engrossed in a football game. She gives Chandler a fright by telling him next year there’ll be a baby at the dinner, but at his startled look she says she meant Rachel’s baby! Phoebe then arrives and gets roped into helping Monica in the kitchen. Monica soon annoys P with her fussiness, and so she copies C’s feigned interest in the game. Next, Monica’s friend Will turns up - played by none other then Brad Pitt (Jennifer Aniston’s real life husband!). Chandler is unnerved by his handsomeness, and makes a pointed comment about not being deaf, when Monica is a little too effusive about Will’s changed appearance! She tells Will that Ross will be joining them, whom Will likes, and also Rachel – whom he detests, for some unknown reason. Joey arrives already eating, and when Monica comments, he claims he is just warming up his stomach. When Ross arrives, he is pleased to see Will again, and the change in his appearance prompts Ross to let slip the comment he is ‘hot stuff’. Will is a Commodities Broker, but when he makes a comment about how he & Ross used to be dinosaur geeks, Ross can’t tell him his line of work! Rachel finally arrives, and Will can barely hide his anger towards her. She doesn’t recognise him though, and briefly thinks he is interested in her. This stops when he mouths ‘I hate you’ to her though! The meal is finally prepared, and ‘coincidentally’ the football game finishes at the exact same time. Rachel is still racking her brain over who Will is, but she increases his anger by asking if she fooled around with him at a graduation party that Will & Ross couldn’t even get into. :) When Monica places the turkey on the table, Joey realises just what he let himself in for – it is 19lb! Monica wisely sits Will & Rachel well apart, but that doesn’t stop him sniping at her all meal, and eventually he gets angry enough to forget his diet and stuff himself with yams. He then tells her in High school he started an ‘I hate Rachel’ club, and that Ross was a member! Ross attempts to explain to Rachel about it, and says it’s all ancient history since they dated for 2 years. This is a shock for Will, as he claims they made a pact. Will then admits that he spread a *really* vicious rumour about Rachel – that she had both male & female reproductive parts! :) This rumour had become so widespread that even Chandler at a different school had heard it, though he didn’t know Rachel then. Meanwhile, Joey is really struggling to eat the turkey, so he goes to put on some looser-fitting pants. Rachel is now obsessing over the long extinct rumour – even suggesting to Ross that he call all his former classmates to set the record straight. He won’t of course, but it is pointed out that it wasn’t all one way – Rachel had spread a rumour that Ross had made out with a 50yo librarian. To everyone’s surprise, Ross’s reaction gives away that this was true! Monica then steps in as peacemaker, pointing out it all happened a long time ago, and reminding Ross & Rachel they are having a baby together. Will is taken aback, but perks up when he hears that Ross isn’t marrying her. He even calls for a high 5, but at first no-one will oblige. P then volunteers, but hugs the handsome Will instead. Joey then returns, wearing a pair of Phoebe’s large maternity pants, and proceeds to finish off not only the entire turkey, but a large slice of pie too! Comments -------- CCA still looks great, but she seems to be losing weight again. The lack of explanation of Will’s enmity toward Rachel rather spoiled the episode for me. ---------------- Friends S8-10 : TOW the Monica’s Boots Another average episode – pretty much a US mid-season filler. We start in C&M’s apartment, with Monica showing off her new boots to Chandler. He’s not very happy with the price she paid for them though. Rachel turns up and also loves them. Chandler says they were too expensive and asks her to return them, but she asks if he’s ever had anyone so beautiful that everyone wants them? Sweetly (and slyly) he says her, but Monica still won’t return the boots! In Central Perk, Ross is talking to pregnant Rachel’s belly, but Phoebe thinks he is speaking to Rachel’s crotch! This got her very puzzled when he talked about hearing its first words! Joey arrives just as Rachel is leaving, and asks if she can give his youngest sister Dina some fashion advice. Phoebe finds out that Sting’s son is in Ben’s school class, and complains that Ross never mentioned it, yet he still bores them with dinosaur stories. He says he’ll stop, but asks if fossil stories are OK? The approaching Joey overhears this, and makes a beeline for the door! As it turns out, Phoebe’s motives soon become apparent – she wants to get tickets to an upcoming Sting concert, and pressures Ross into trying to get them through his school connection with Sting’s son. Monica arrives to show Phoebe her boots, but Chandler is still complaining about the cost, quipping that she should wear shorts on a street corner to earn the money to pay for them. As soon as Chandler leaves however, Monica admits the boots are killing her feet! She can’t even return them as they’ve already suffered some use. Later on, when Ross returns, he tells Phoebe that he can’t get the tickets because Ben and Sting’s son don’t get on. They fell out over a comment about Ben’s mum’s being ‘lesbinems’. A very pushy Phoebe won’t take no for an answer though, and insists that Ross arrange a reconciliation between the boys. The next act starts in Rachel’s office when Joey arrives with his sister Dina. He introduces her to Rachel (see comments below). When he leaves though, she tells Rachel she isn’t really interested in fashion, but that she is pregnant instead! She knows Rachel is too, and is just seeking advice on how to tell Joey. Meanwhile, Monica is still pretending to Chandler that her boots are OK, even putting them on outside the apartment to fool him. She’s caught out though when he invites her to an office party and says she should wear them to it! Arriving at Rachel’s apartment, Dina doesn’t want to confront Joey, but Rachel persuades her, saying how kind he’s been about her pregnancy, and hands her a sandwich to use as an emergency distraction for Joey. Dina goes in, but is so nervous that Joey immediately leaps to all sorts of wild conclusions about what might be wrong. She finally tells him, but he doesn’t take it very well. He leaves, saying he can’t look at her, but sneaks back in for the sandwich with his hand over his eyes! :) Phoebe has arranged to see Ben at his school under the guise of reconciling him and Sting’s son, Jack. When Ben’s teacher asks her who she is, she’s trapped and has to pretend she’s Susan, whom Ben’s teacher hasn’t met. She eventually succeeds in arranging a meeting with Jack’s parents though, much to her excitement! After the office party, Monica is forced to admit that the boots hurt her when Chandler suggests they take a long walk to the nearest subway station. After a short gloat he gallantly offers her a piggy-back ride. , She removes the boots with a lots of moaning, which turns Chandler on a little! :) Later, Joey arrives back at his apartment dragging the father of Dina’s baby in by the scruff of his neck. Having previously been ordained as an internet minister he attempts to marry them on the spot! Rachel steps in to stop him, pointing out the marriage wouldn’t be legal anyway. He then reveals he just doesn’t want his sister to become a single mother, rather irritating single-mother-to-be Rachel in the process. Finally though, he manages to sort things out with his sister after she admits she was more scared about telling him than she was about telling her parents. When Phoebe arrives for her meeting with Jack’s parents, she is dismayed to find that Sting isn’t there, only his wife. After desperately trying to rearrange the appointment to a time when Sting is there, she is forced to admit her motive is just to get concert tickets, and that isn’t even one of Ben’s mothers! By now, Sting’s wife has triggered a silent alarm, but when she says the police are on the way, Phoebe mistakenly thinks she means the group Police are having a reunion. :) After 10 blocks, Chandler is feeling the effects of giving Monica that piggy-back ride, and has to stop. Coincidentally, it’s just outside the shop where Monica bought her boots. She sees a pair of tan coloured boots in the window at half price, but Chandler carries her away from the shop quickly! Phoebe finally gets her concert tickets, thanks to Ross, but has to check how far from the stage they are, since she’s had a retraining order filed against her! Comments -------- Continuity error : Rachel must already have met Dina in ‘TOW Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister'. Why didn't Sting appear as a guest star? ---------------- Friends S8-11 : TOW Ross’s Step Forward I have to say this was the worst episode of the season so far. None of the three storylines held any great appeal – just another insipid between- sweeps filler, I’m afraid. The episode starts of in Central Perk, with Rachel reaching the horny stage of her pregnancy! She’s checking out every guy in the place, including one Phoebe herself has ‘sampled’. Ross arrives with Mona, along with some photos they had taken. They ask if Joey wants to look at them, but he’s not interested… until he hears that a number of them a creepy guy took were of Mona’s breasts! On seeing them, Phoebe not knowing the circumstances, pipes up with “She has a face, Ross”. One of the pictures resembles an Xmas card, so Mona suggests they have it made up as one. Ross isn’t keen, and after Mona leaves, Joey quips that Ross & Mona are married now, explaining to Phoebe that only married couples send out cards together. Chandler & Monica are in his office, when his boss Doug walks in. It turns out that he is recently divorced, and invites them out for company. Monica wants to get out of it though, since they’ve had bad experiences in the past with Doug, including urinating on an ice-sculpture! Mona has had a mock-up card printed, but after a pretence of enthusiasm, Ross finally comes clean and admits he thinks it’s too soon to be sending out cards together. This just gets him into an awkward situation though, as Mona then asks of their relationship “Where are we?”. Ross is trapped, ineptly trying to avoid answering, then finally manages to make a temporary escape. Meanwhile, Rachel is at the OBGYN getting a check-up on her pregnancy. She’s not seen by her usual doctor, but instead a young male doctor whom her hormones make her flirt with. She just ends up looking silly though. When she returns to CP afterwards, she admits to Monica & Phoebe that she’s out of control. Phoebe attempts sympathy, telling her that when she was pregnant she got so horny she almost hit on Monica! :) Ross arrives & asks for advice about the ‘where are we’ conversation. He claims that no man would ask this, but Rachel points out that he asked *her* that! Monica says that he should make some sort of gesture. All of the suggestions are too little or too much though, especially saying ‘I love you’. He finally comes up with ‘I love spending time with you’, but the girls say that is just a slap in the face. Back at the office, Chandler is desperately trying to get out of the meal with Doug, making up feeble excuses as to why Monica will not be available. He at least saves her, by claiming that he & Monica split up, only for Doug to drag him to strip clubs! Ross returns to see Mona, but makes a fool of himself when trying to explain where their relationship is going – finally panicking and going way too far by offering her a key to his apartment! He then rushes over to see Monica & Rachel, telling them that it was his *only* key, and he’s now a homeless person in a serious relationship! A little later, Phoebe arrives with her friend Roger in tow. In a misguided attempt to help Rachel, she’s acting as a pimp, as Roger is supposed to have sex with Rachel! She mentions that he is also a virgin. Naturally Rachel turns down this offer of ‘help’! Chandler is forced to go to strip clubs with Doug to maintain his charade, but an increasingly drunk Doug tries to get Chandler to throw away his wedding ring in order to get some action! Ross has called a locksmith so he can get into his apartment, and decides to change the locks. Unfortunately Mona arrives while this is happening, and complains he’s giving out mixed signals. In a flap again, the only thing he can think of, is to tell Mona he loves her! Instead of reciprocating, she uses the dreaded phrase ‘I love spending time with you’! :) When Chandler finally gets hope, he explains what happened, and is upset as he’s seen what life would be like without Monica (It’s a Wonderful Life, with lap dances). They promise never to split up, be he still hesitates when she suggests *they* send out Xmas cards together. :) Next door, Rachel admits to Joey that she’s ‘erotically charged’, which he knows means horny. She says she needs one great night of sex to clear it out of her system. There is a brief moment between them when they contemplate it, but they stop themselves quickly, realising what a mistake it would be. They both then hurry to their respective rooms in embarrassment. Rachel starts to emerge from her room again, but Joey stops her, even without seeing her! Comments -------- I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – Mona is incredibly patient, and tolerant of Ross’s foibles! I must stop reading Tennant’s reviews before I do my own – all the best comments are gone! ---------------- TOW Joey Dates Rachel The best episode since TOW the Halloween Party, but it probably won’t win my best episode of the season prize. One good storyline (the title one), one OK one (the videogame), and one space-filler (Ross). We begin with Chandler & Monica arriving at their apartment to find a huge package there. Phoebe has bought them a belated wedding present – a Ms Pacman arcade game! Monica is delighted – it was her 2nd favourite game, growing up. When asked what her favourite was, she’s forced to admit the ‘game’ was in fact a vending machine! :) Down in Central Perk, Ross tells Joey & Rachel that he has some big news about his job – his department head has gone, so he’s been asked to teach an advanced class. Once Ross leaves, Joey tells Rachel he has a date coming up, and asks for advice on where to take her. Her suggested list is a bit long for Joey though, as it would ‘postpone sex’. :) Rachel confesses she misses dating due to her pregnancy, so to cheer her up, Joey agrees to take her out on a date. Back at C&M’s, Phoebe is hogging the machine to such an extent that Monica has to physically drag her away from it. Chandler is dismissive of the game though. Rachel is getting ready for her date when she hears a knock at the door. She calls on Joey to answer it, and when he doesn’t, she answers it, only to find Joey himself outside, doing his ‘date guy’ act, complete with lilies for Rachel . She plays along, inviting him in and discussing the apartment. Ross has discovered a major snag in his new teaching role, it is miles across town, and he has to get there in 10 minutes on foot! Needless to say it takes him a lot longer, and by the time he arrives, exhausted, the lecture period is over! At the restaurant Rachel & Joey have chosen for their meal, she asks him to show her his date moves. They consist of playing on his fame as a soap opera actor, plus some predictable flattery. Rachel then reciprocates, her main move being to ask where Joey grew up. He’s not impressed at first, but when he gets into the flow, he suddenly realises how effective it is! Elsewhere, Monica arrives home from work to find Chandler playing the video game, which he has apparently been doing all day. He’s even set the top 10 highest scores, and used dirty word initials to mark the feat. It’s had an adverse effect on him though, his hand is stuck in a claw shape! Monica then points out that Ben will be visiting the next day, and he mustn’t see what Chandler has put. Unfortunately, even turning the machine off and on doesn’t clear them though. Joey and Rachel arrive home from their date, with him asking her a strange question : Which of Monica, Phoebe, Chandler or Ross she would like to punch? She doesn’t want to answer at first, but finally admits it would be Chandler, but she doesn’t know why. Joey then tells Rachel that this was his best ever date, and this was the first time he’d ever enjoyed the non-sex part. Rachel then asks him what his end of night moves are. He tells her his secret to getting girls to kiss him – raspberry lip balm! She says her move is to press the guy’s lips & sigh. This is so effective that Joey is momentarily mesmerised! Ross is feeling the strain from his new lecturing job, arriving extremely late again, then collapsing. As he relates though, he can’t give it up as he’s announced it in the family newsletter – the ‘Geller Yeller’. :) The next day, Joey & Rachel are discussing the movie ‘Kujo’, but when the subject drifts back to their date, they become uncomfortable, neither wanting to admit how much they enjoyed it, and blaming their discomfort on the food! When Phoebe next arrives at C&M’s place, she apologises for hogging the machine previously, then spots the high scores, and says Chandler’s friends must have some weird initials. He’s then reminded the scores have to go before Ben arrives, but let’s slip more about his traumatic childhood, that he thought it was normal to see an orgy by age seven! :) Joey remains preoccupied by his date with Rachel, so much so that it ruins his big date the following night, though this was as much his date’s fault as his. Phoebe is attempting to clear all the offensive high score entries, but when she fails, she lets out a tirade of foul language that makes C&M cringe. Unfortunately, at this very moment Ross walks in with Ben, exposing him to far worse than what was on the video game screen! When Joey arrives back from his date, he finds Rachel curled up watching Kujo, and being upset by it. Needing comfort, she invites him to share her chair and they und up huddled together very cosily! Ross has finally found the answer to his travel problem though – roller blades, though he’s not very good on them! Comments -------- Possible continuity error – Monica had previously objected when Chandler suggested putting video games in their apartment. This week’s gay joke was at Joey’s expense. What initials did Chandler use on the high score table? I suspect BLO & JOB. :) Why would Rachel want to punch Chandler? If Ross is so unsteady on roller-blades, how could he have gotten cross-town quickly enough? Monica looking great as usual, and Rachel shows more evidence of a cold studio. :) ---------------- Friends S8-13 : TOW Chandler Takes a Bath Not as good as last weeks, principally because they’ve continued with the, IMO unworkable, Joey/Rachel theme. The episode starts with Joey eating cereal, still hung up on his date with Rachel. He tries to convince himself it’s just a crush, but his subconscious mind betrays him. Next scene, Monica is trying to convince a reluctant Chandler of the enjoyment of a bath. He’s unconvinced even she says he’s taken them with her. He points out that was because of the wet naked lady! :) While Monica has left the room, Joey arrives for a talk with Chandler. He immediately knows it must be something heavy, as Joey refuses food! Unfortunately Joey talks in such circumspect terms – about rules & friends, that Chandler has no idea that Joey is talking about having feelings for Rachel. Ross & Rachel are in Central Perk before a routine check-up on her pregnancy. They’re discussing baby names, and Phoebe also has an idea of her own – to name it after her! Neither Ross nor Rachel can agree on a name though, and the discussion even starts to get a little heated. They finally agree that they’ll have 5 veto’s each for names they don’t like. The next day, Monica has a surprise for Chandler. His eyes light up, hoping she’d agreed to have sex on the balcony, but instead she’s drawn him a special relaxing bath. He doesn’t want to try it, but she sweet-talks him into it, promising she’ll discuss the idea of sex on the balcony, even though she has no intention of doing actually doing it! She even gives him a boat to make the bath seem less feminine. Once in, he finds he starts to enjoy the bath, though Monica’s follow up suggestion of a facial makes him call for a bigger boat! At the doctors, Ross & Rachel are told their baby is fine, and that they could be told its sex if they want. They both agree not to know, but Rachel tries to sneak a look at the file while Ross’s back is turned. Unfortunately, Ross notices and won’t believe that she didn’t have a long enough look to know the answer. Having discovered the pleasure of having a bath, Chandler is now sitting on one he ran himself, but he just can’t get the perfect balance of bubble bath & bath salts that Monica did. Monica then comes in and relates a strange conversation she’d had with Joey. It turned out to have been pretty much along the same lines as Joey’s earlier chat with Chandler. They’d discussed dating rules, friendships & London, so Chandler & Monica eventually conclude, to their surprise, that Joey is interested in Phoebe. Monica is delighted, but Chandler says she should say nothing to Phoebe about it. Phoebe herself arrives at about that point, but Monica ignores Chandler’s advice and tells her that Joey is interested in her. After her initial positive reaction, she realises she wouldn’t want to risk their friendship, so rejects the idea. Back from the doctors, R&R are still discussing baby names, and Ross becomes suspicious when Rachel warms to his suggestion of Ruth, which she’d previously rejected. He thinks she knows the baby is a boy, so the name Ruth would be moo(t). :) Phoebe goes to see Joey to discuss his supposed feelings for her, only to be embarrassed when Joey says it’s Rachel he actually has feelings for. Despite her earlier claim that she didn’t want a relationship with Joey, she is visibly disappointed that he didn’t feel that way about her. Joey tells Phoebe that he wants rid of his feelings for Rachel, even writing a list of her bad points. He can’t come up with anything credible though, so he’s stuck. Phoebe tells him it might still be a crush though, and claims she’s had them on all the others – except Ross & Chandler. Ross, having convinced himself Rachel knew the sex of the baby, has called the doctor and found out for himself. He confronts her in Central Perk, saying she knows it’s a girl. Of course, she *didn’t* actually know, but after the initial surprise, she is delighted, and she and Ross make up with a warm hug. Back at C&M’s apartment, Monica has run herself a bath, but before she can get in, Chandler sneaks in first! While Monica is discussing bath decorum with Chandler, Phoebe comes into the bathroom to tell them it wasn’t her that Joey had feelings for. C&M then realise it must be Rachel that Joey had feelings for, which Phoebe confirms. One by one, the others all arrive, though Rachel remains unaware of Joey’s feelings. While they are there, R&R give the news that their baby is a girl , and they all share a group hug - except for Chandler, still concealing himself beneath the bath bubbles! The episode ends exactly as it began, with Joey in denial over his feelings, and his subconscious blurting out that he loves Rachel! Comments -------- No gays jokes this week, thank goodness! Ross will now have a daughter as well as a son. Will the baby’s name emerge at the last minute, as with Ben? How long will this Joey/Rachel silliness go on? Nice continuity reference to C&M’s bath in TOW All the Kissing. ---------------- Friends S8-14 : TOW the Secret Closet Another between-sweeps filler, but it had its moments. We begin with Phoebe arriving at Monica’s apartment to collect her guitar, only to find that Monica doesn’t want to let her in. Her excuse is that she & Chandler are having sex, but her cover is blown when Chandler arrives outside their apartment a few seconds later! He lets himself and Phoebe in, and she sees to her horror that Monica is having a massage with someone other than her. Only then does Chandler remember he wasn’t supposed to let Phoebe find out! Next we see Joey asleep, and dreaming about Rachel. In his fantasy, he is her baby’s father, and is helping her deliver it. When the new baby is passed to him however, it has Ross’s face, and immediately accuses him of betraying his friend. This image causes Joey to waken yelling, in a cold sweat! Rachel hears that he is awake, and comes in to tell Joey that her baby is kicking for the first time. There’s also a little embarrassment when he fails to cover himself up properly when he leaves his bed to feeling the baby kicking! The next morning, C&M are looking at a late wedding present from one of Chandler’s relatives – a cheap, tacky punch bowl. When they discuss where to put it, he makes the wrong suggestion, so Monica asks him if he’s forgotten the apartment orientation she taught him. :) He then wonders what’s wrong with using the green closet by the bathroom as storage space. To his surprise, she becomes very defensive, and won’t let him look inside. Her excuses as to why not are unconvincing to say the least, and only pique Chandler’s curiosity. Later when Phoebe arrives, she is still miffed at Monica for using another masseuse. Chandler unhelpfully tells her she’s been using someone else for ‘only’ three years! Monica claims she’d be uncomfortable with Phoebe seeing her naked during the massage, but Phoebe begs for a chance, and Monica eventually relents. Meanwhile, Joey & Rachel are in Central Perk when Ross arrives. She tells him about the baby kicking, but in his rush to feel the kicks, he has trouble getting his gloves off. He needn’t have hurried though, the kicking has stopped for now. Ross now says he’s upset at missing out on all this baby stuff. He then gives Rachel his pager number so he needn’t miss out any longer. Phoebe is at last getting her change to massage Monica, but it is not going at all to plan! To Phoebe’s great embarrassment, Monica enjoys the massage so much she starts making sex noises! While Monica is out, Chandler is determined to see what is in the locked closet, but is so nervous about being caught that he reacts guiltily when the door opens, only to find it is just Joey. Joey then suggests that Monica’s old boyfriend Richard is behind the door as her secret lover! :) His other suggestion is even weirder, from a movie : killer bugs! Even the memory of the movie causes Joey alarm, so he quickly leaves! When he enters his own apartment though, he finds a very worried Rachel. She is experiencing some unidentified pain in her stomach, so Joey immediately rushes her to hospital, and also pages Ross. He assures her everything will be all right though. Fortunately, it turns out to be a common, and harmless, pregnancy condition known as Braxton Hicks contractions. A relieved Joey’s concern then slips out - that his reassurances were a sham - as much for himself as for her. A panicky Ross then arrives, soon to realise that everything is OK, recognising her condition - presumably from Carol’s pregnancy years back. Rachel is irritated when he says most women don’t even feel pain from it though, saying that without a uterus, he cannot have an opinion! :) There’s one last awkward moment though, when the doctor returns with some leaflets, and assume that Joey, rather than Ross, is the father. Later, Chandler & Joey are still trying to get into Monica’s cupboard. Joey suggests using a bobby pin to unlock the door. Chandler obviously doesn’t have one, but when he finds one very quickly, Joey comments he found it too fast! A latter attempt to open the door with a credit card just results in it being lost into the cupboard! Chandler also asks about Joey’s crush. Joey admits it is worse than ever, and he wants it to end in any way possible. In Central Perk, Monica tells Phoebe she enjoyed the massage, and wants to make it a weekly appointment. At this, Phoebe immediately raises her price to $200/hr, but has to hike it all the way to $600 before Monica asks what’s going on. Phoebe is forced to tell Monica she was making sex noises during the massage, and loudly illustrates what she meant, attracting the attention of a male onlooker in the process! Monica says she will be quieter in future if Phoebe will continue to massage her. Now back in her apartment, Rachel is massing about, balancing a soft drink can on her tummy when Ross arrives with her favourite sandwich, pickle & tuna. Unfortunately, pickles now make the Rachel throw up, another pregnancy quirk Ross has missed out on. Rachel calls from the bathroom that she wants the sandwich to disappear, and human garbage disposal Joey is happy to oblige! :) Joey then calls them together – he has thought of a solution that he hopes will solve both his & Ross’s problem. Rachel should move in with Ross temporarily. Rachel is sceptical, but at the pleading expression on Ross’s face, she agrees! Chandler has finally managed to get into Monica’s closet by removing the hinges, only to find it full to the ceiling with junk! Monica arrives at this moment, only for a smiling Chandler to taunt her by saying ‘You’re messy’! He agrees to keep her secret, though when he suggests putting some of his stuff in the cupboard too, she says it will mess up her existing junk. :) Later, Chandler goes to see how Joey is coping with Rachel moving out. He puts a brave face on it at first, but finally admits how much he is missing her, and how lonely he is. Comments -------- More nice continuity, referring back to Dr Richard Burke. Who the hell is Fred Sanford? Joey really has it bad for Rachel, doesn’t he! Poor Mona, all but forgotten about, twice. Was Joey’s action in getting R&R to move in together sweet or selfish? Joey is allergic to salad? I *still* think R&R should be together, despite everything! ---------------- Friends S8-15 : TOW the Birthing Video I really liked this episode – anyone who knows what think about CCA will understand why! :) It is Valentines Day, and we start with Rachel complaining about Ross watching the Discovery channel all the time. Joey is still agonising about his feelings for Rachel, and even Phoebe’s offer to let him look down his blouse, doesn’t cheer him up much! He even bends Gunther’s ear about his unrequited love. Phoebe then asks Ross how Mona feels about Rachel moving in, but she’s been away, and doesn’t know yet. Ross thinks it’ll be OK though, since she’s been very supportive before. Phoebe has got Rachel a birthing tape from a couple named Candy & Cookie, leading even Phoebe to wonder if some of her friends are too weird! Monica has arranged a sexy surprise for Chandler, and wants to ask Phoebe’s opinion of which sexy negligee she should wear. Ross, not realising what she is talking about, demands that his opinion be asked, causing himself great embarrassment! Phoebe has another idea of how to cheer Joey up, she borrows a dog from one of her other friends, claiming it is the happiest dog in the world. When Chandler arrives back home, Monica is preparing herself for him. Before she appears though, he spots the tape and immediately plays it thinking Monica has bought him some porn. Alas, it is the birthing tape, and Chandler, not realising at first, exclaims ‘this is the worst porn ever!’. By the time Monica emerges from their room, looking incredibly HOT, the tape has completely ruined any desire Chandler had for sex. He complains about the bad ‘porn’, and she tells him she *did* get him porn, but not *that* tape! He then makes Monica watch the tape to show why he isn’t in the mood for sex any longer. Mona has now returned from her trip, and has brought Ross some salt water taffy as a present. Ross tries to work into their conversation about Rachel moving in with him, only for her to laugh at the idea, forcing him to not to tell her the truth yet. He then makes plans to tell her over a romantic dinner. Joey’s moping over his secret love for Rachel has gotten so bad now that he has even managed to depress the world’s happiest dog. Back at Ross’s apartment, he’s chatting to Rachel when Mona turns up unexpectedly, completely blowing his plans to tell Mona about Rachel living with him. He briefly tries to lie his way out, but Rachel herself lets slip that she’s now living there. This proves too much even for the ultra-tolerant Mona, and she breaks up with Ross. C&M are sitting in their apartment, traumatised by the birthing video, and he says that seeing it was worse even than some things he’d seen his gay father do during his childhood! He hides the tape under a chair, and then suggests the chair is now soiled so they’d have to get rid of it. They try to kiss, but the memory of the video is still playing on their mind, and they are grateful when interrupted by Rachel. She wants to watch the birthing video, but not alone, forcing Chandler & Monica to watch it again, even despite their warnings over the content. Once again they are shocked, as is Rachel, but this time C&M watch past the worst part, and see how happy the mother is holding her baby. Rachel is not thrilled by the prospect of giving birth though. Later, in Central Perk, Joey intends to follow Phoebe’s advice and tell Ross how he fells about Rachel. He can’t quite bring himself to do so though, fearing it’ll ruin their friendship. When his strong hints fail to get through to Ross, he’s forced to blurt out as Ross is leaving, that it is Rachel he has feelings for. The episode ends with Ross pausing ominously in the doorway! Comments -------- Only one : Monica was UNBELIEVABLY HOT in her negligee! ---------------- Friends S8-16 : TOW Joey Tells Rachel Since I’m not a fan of the Joey/Rachel storyline, I wasn’t terribly keen on this episode, though it seemed handled quite well. The episode starts exactly where the previous one left off, with Ross pausing, shocked, in the doorway of Central Perk, having just heard Joey confess his feelings for Rachel. He turns back to confront Joey, but finds it almost impossible to handle the revelation, so has to leave before he does something foolish. Poor love stricken Gunther has also overheard about Joey’s feelings for Rachel, and he is as upset as Ross, just not concealing it as well! A little later, also in CP, Chandler discovers that Rachel’s baby seems to kick extra hard when he touches her tummy, prompting him to claim that it is the youngest female to reject him. :) The discussion turns to soul mates, with Rachel saying she’s stopped looking for hers (Russell Crowe!), and Chandler saying he doesn’t believe in the notion. At this point Phoebe exclaims that she has found Monica’s soul mate, much upsetting Chandler who is in earshot! Rachel & Phoebe continue to insensitively discuss Monica’s ‘soul mate’ Don, until Chandler loudly points out that he is right there! Phoebe says she will date him, as Monica is not available. Monica goes over to visit Ross, having learned that Ross has discovered Joey’s feelings for Rachel. Ross is still freaked out about it though, saying it’s weirder even than if he was dating his sister! Monica tries to reassure Ross that Joey would never act on his feelings for Rachel though. She claims he even suggested moving to Vermont, thinking it was another country, to escape from his feelings! She also tells Ross that she has to talk to Joey, as he thinks Ross now hates him. In Central Perk, Chandler is now facing his nightmare. He is there with Monica when Phoebe arrives with her new boyfriend Don (Monica’s soul mate)! Phoebe’s intuition is proved correct as he & Monica immediately discover they have so much in common, alarming poor Chandler even further! Ross turns up at Joey’s door, and Joey apprehensively lets him in, half expecting to be hit! Ross immediately reassures him he’s safe. Joey reiterates that he’d never act on his feelings, so as not to jeopardise their friendship. Ross then nobly tells Joey that he should tell Rachel of his feelings, otherwise he’ll never be able to get past them. He stops short when Joey asks him what to say, though! Chandler is now going through hell, as he is forced to endure hearing how Monica & Don have so much in common, even including their wanting a house of cheese! Chandler moans to Phoebe about why she brought Don here, but she *claims* not to know C&M would be there. Joey has finally plucked up the courage to confess his feelings to Rachel, but she hasn’t time to talk now, and Joey has to take her out for a meal, prolonging his agony for several more hours. Back at their apartment, Monica can tell Chandler is upset, but it’s a while before he reveals the reason. She then reassures him that she doesn’t believe in soul mates either, she only loves him, and that a house made of cheese would be impossible to clean anyway! :) Joey & Rachel are now having their meal out, and after several interruptions and false starts, he finally tells Rachel how he feels about her. At first she’s in disbelief, but after realising he’s serious, she lets him down as gently as she can since she can’t return his feelings. Joey wants to leave, but she stops him, and they eventually share a very lengthy hug. Comments -------- Did Phoebe really not know C&M would be there when she brought Don? Even marriage hasn’t cured Chandler’s insecurity. Hopefully we’ll now be able to draw a line under the Joey/Rachel storyline. ---------------- Friends S8-17 : TOW the Tea Leaves I have to say that IMO, this was a very weak episode. None of the storylines had any great appeal to me. After Rachel’s rejection of him in the previous episode, Joey has started to avoid her. C&M tell him he *has* to talk to her, but when she arrives, he flees into the bathroom dropping his bagel in the process. Rachel is looking for Joey, and after C&M unconvincingly cover for him, Rachel sees the bagel and asks if C&M were playing naked hoopla! She leaves, but not before telling them she misses Joey’s friendship. He emerges from the bathroom, and they ask him if he heard what she said. All he caught was about the naked hoopla though. He then claims that C&M don’t know what it’s like to put yourself out there after rejection, to which they both give tragic counter-examples from their past. Chandler thinking the only response to ‘I love you’ was ‘oh crap’, and Monica being rejected at fat camp! A little later in Central Perk, Phoebe is describing another of her ‘talents’ – fortune telling with tea leaves. She says Monica will either get a promotion or a violent death. Monica then points out she can’t get promoted any higher… She then tells Rachel she will have a baby, or make a major scientific discovery. Finally she reads that she will meet the man of her dreams very shortly. Not literally though, since she last dreamt of Chandler! Ross then arrives looking for his ‘faded salmon’ coloured shirt, to which Monica pipes up ‘the pink one’. :) Since no-one else knows where it is, he realises he left it at Mona’s. He’s not keen on asking her for it back though, as her last words to him were ‘jump up your own ass & die’. :) Phoebe then spots a guy that she’s seen a number of times recently, and he is now checking her out. Chandler forgets himself, and tells her he’s cute, then tried to quip his way out, by claiming his tea leaves form a picture of the Village People, and what does that mean? :) Joey arrives, but is still feeling very uncomfortable round Rachel. Back at the apartment, Rachel asks Chandler what she should do about Joey, but he says has far better at sarcastic remarks than advice. Monica then provides a useful distraction to save Chandler, asking why he has put a CD back in the wrong case. He says he just puts them in the first one he finds, and that none will be in the right case. Monica immediately beings planning to sort out the CD’s, when Rachel reminds them her own problem is far more serious! Monica suggests she should distract Joey by pretending she has a work problem. When Joey arrives, C&M make their excuses, and leave. After another awkward moment, Rachel remembers Monica’s advice and tells Joey she has a work problem involving her baby. Unfortunately she panics, and tells Joey that her boss wants to buy her baby! :) She explains that he & his wife can’t have children, and while drunk at the office party he offered to buy hers. Joey is naturally shocked, expecting that she was going to talk about a maternity leave problem. Rachel mentally kicks herself that she didn’t think of that! Phoebe finally gets a date with the ‘dream guy’ Jim Nelson, after meeting at a news- stand. Ross is so desperate to retrieve his favourite pink shirt, that he breaks into her apartment, using a key she hides on top of a light, burning his hand in the process. Before he can find it though, Mona herself arrives with a date. Ross dives for cover, and is dismayed when Mona hands her date his pink shirt since she spilt wine on his original one. It gets worse when he thinks it is a woman’s shirt! Rachel is now happy that she has broken the ice with Joey, only for Joey to tell her - to her horror, that he went and confronted her boss! She’s now terrified that she’ll be fired. Rachel is forced to admit to Joey that she made up the baby-buying story as a distraction, but she blames Monica for giving her the idea. Phoebe’s date with Jim is not going at all well, he turns out to be a pig who comes on way to strong for her. He writes erotic novels for children, which he admits doesn’t make him popular, but the final straw is when he tells her he has a PHD, a pretty huge d… She flees the restaurant! Meanwhile Ross still is still stuck in Mona’s apartment, forced to endure her making out with her new boyfriend! When he flings of Ross’s pink shirt in the throes of passion, Ross thinks he can retrieve it. Unfortunately he tips a table over & is discovered. An angry Mona immediately throws him out. When Rachel arrives at work the next day, her worst fears appear to be realised when she is called into her boss’s office with the personnel manager also present! To her well disguised relief though, it is he who apologises to her, fearing that she might sue him over a comment he thinks he made while drunk. She even gets an extra months paid maternity leave to keep her quiet! Phoebe is out walking with Monica, telling her that she has had to change her whole routine just to avoid the creepy guy. She even feels betrayed by fate, saying she’ll kick ass when she gets to heaven! Monica tells her not to worry, the right guy is out there. In another backhanded insult at Chandler, she says she hopes the same is true for Monica! They arrive at her new dry-cleaners, and Monica tells her the place is like Disneyland for her, with all then cleaning going on! :) When Phoebe drops a garment, it is picked up by a man who she’s immediately attracted to, perhaps the guy the tea leaves were really telling her about? :) Rachel tells Joey everything worked out with her boss, but unfortunately this reopens the issue of why she made up the story in the first place – their awkwardness caused by her rejection of him. In an attempt to lighten the mood, or distract him again, she says her gynaecologist is trying to kill her. :) Finally, that evening Ross gets a surprise visitor. It is Mona, believing that Ross was at her apartment because he still had feelings for her. She admits the same thing, but says it can’t work because of the whole Rachel situation. She wants to keep Ross’s pink shirt as a reminder of him though, but he won’t give it up! Comments -------- More of the standard annoyances – gay Chandler jokes, and Phoebe putting him down. :( Still no resolution to the Rachel/Joey storyline. I bet Monica won’t let Chandler off the hook over the misfiled CD’s. :) ---------------- Friends S8-18 : TOW the Zesty Guy Quite a good episode this week, though pretty much separate from the general flow of the season. The episode begins in Central Perk, with Monica & Ross discussing their parent’s 35th wedding anniversary party. Monica wants to make the toast for a change. Phoebe is also telling the gang about her new boyfriend. Parker, and how he treats her like a queen, except in the bedroom where she is a ‘naughty girl’! Monica says she wants her toast to be moving enough to make her family cry, as Ross’s usually are. Joey promises that he at least will cry, claiming as an actor he can do it at will. Embarrassingly though, he fails when trying to demonstrate the talent! A little later, back at home Monica is composing her toast, promising it will be sob- fest 2002, especially as she’ll mention her dead pet dog. The others then arrive with presents for R&M’s parents. Joey has one sweet one (naming a start after them), and one inappropriate one (a version of the Karma Sutra for the elderly)! When asked if there are ribbons for the presents, Chandler reels off a whole litany, then realising this knowledge makes him look effeminate, says his testicles are in the same cupboard. :) Parker then arrives, and Phoebe has done a good job of describing the gang, as he guesses their identity immediately – except for Chandler. He’s just kidding though. He turns out to be irritatingly overenthusiastic though, and irritates everyone except Phoebe by his effusiveness. Ross & Rachel even hang back to avoid being in the same taxi as him to Jack & Judy’s party! When they arrive, R&R get a shock – to avoid upsetting their conservative friends, Jack & Judy have lied, telling them Ross & Rachel are married. After initial doubt, they agree to go along with the charade for duration of the party. They initially agree to avoid giving details of their ‘wedding’, but this becomes progressively hardly as relatives generously give them money! Unlike Ross & Rachel, poor C&M have had to suffer Parker on the ride over, leading Chandler to suggest that someone is looking for him with a tranquiliser & a butterfly net! They continue making fun of Phoebe’s date until she walks up behind Ross in mid-parody. She gets annoyed with them all, and storms off. Ross & Rachel are now forced into ever more elaborate descriptions of their wedding, while trying to explain why there are no photos and no invites for relatives. Meanwhile, Parker is trying to feed vegetarian Phoebe an oyster, and to shut him up, she pretends to, only to secretly drop it on the floor. Rachel is now well into the flow of describing her dream wedding, and Ross describes how he proposed to her in a planetarium, with the words written in stars, surrounded by lilies. A guilty Joey tries to apologise to Phoebe for mocking Parker, only to be told she feels the same way now. Oddly though, Joey persuades her to give him another chance. When Monica finally gets up to make her toast, it turns out to be a disaster, the only crying being done by her, and everyone else cringing in embarrassment! She finally gives up, with a parting shot of ‘Are you people made of stone?’ :) Jack & Judy then ask about Ross’s toast, but he says he hasn’t prepared one. He is cajoled into making one though, and his short unrehearsed speech goes down wonderfully, having exactly the effect Monica was trying for with hers, and leaving her jealous. After the party, Phoebe takes Parker to her apartment, and since his manic enthusiasm hasn’t abated, she wants to slip him a Valium! She even tries a ‘who can stay quiet longest’ game, but when even that fails to shut him up, she snaps. She describes him as being like Santa on Prozac, and tells him he should be much less happy. He says he can’t, so she finally dumps him. Back at their apartment Ross & Rachel are discussing the evening, Rachel saying she enjoyed the charade, and especially Ross’s description of how he had ‘proposed’. It turns out it wasn’t a spur of the moment fabrication, but how he really envisioned asking her to marry him, while they were dating. Finally, in CP, Monica & Ross decide he should make the toast on their parent’s 40th anniversary, and he seals the deal by other spontaneous & moving demonstration of his oratory talent. Comments -------- Thankfully, nothing on the Joey/Rachel story this week. I detect Phoebe’s hand in Parker’s non-recognition of Chandler joke. Will the writers please quit trying to emasculate poor Chandler! :( ---------------- Friends S8-19 : TOW Joey’s Interview This would be a cliché if referring to the Simpsons, but I have to say ‘worst episode ever’. :( I don’t like clip shows at the best of times, but there wasn’t even anything here advancing the ongoing plot. Oh well, it least I’ll shorten my review. We start with Rachel excited brandishing Soap Opera Digest, saying that Joey is in it as a crossword clue! He then says they want to interview him, but he is reluctant because doing so had previously got him fired (S2-18 : TOW Dr.Remoray Dies). Rachel says he should do it, but she really just wants to see her name in print. Joey suggests the gang should be around to stop him saying the wrong thing again. The interview takes place in Central Perk, surprising the interviewer, Shelley, since her subjects usually take advantage of the magazine paying for the meal. Unfortunately, Joey didn’t realise this. As soon as he does though, he asks Gunther for CP’s whole supply of muffins! The gang are also in CP, laying low. The first question is about Joey’s work pre-DooL. Cue clips Feeling his CV to be light, he claims to read to the blind, and to be a mento (meaning mentor) to kids. :) Next – how does he stay in shape? Cue more clips His claims to healthy eating are rather spoiled by Gunther arriving with a huge plate of muffins though. Why was his character willed off before? He explains he said the wrong thing in a magazine interview, but when asked what he said, the gang intervene just in time! They are introduced to Shelley, and Rachel makes her bid for fame by claiming she can dish the dirt on him, even joking that her baby is Joey’s. Phoebe though, says she didn’t expect someone so hot to be so sweet, but when asked to spell her name for the record, she does it in an extremely silly way. Shelley’s next question is : Who is your best friend? Cue more clips Joey manages to dodge this minefield fortunately, merely saying he has lots of close friends. Shelley than asks him about his huge gay fan base, this is a surprise to Joey, and he barely covers by saying he doesn’t know any huge gay fans. Shelley then hints as to his sexuality, Cue clips that could be misinterpreted. :) She then asks about his romantic life. More clips, proving decisively that he’s straight. He claims he’s shy though! As the interview ends, Shelley says they’ll run it next month. As she leaves though, she tosses in a hand-grenade : which other soaps does he like? Caught unawares, he blows the whole thing by calling soap opera fans losers without a life! :) The gang wince, and he realises what he’s done, saying ‘so close’. He manages to repair the damage later in typical Joey fashion though, by sleeping with Shelley to keep the offending remark from being published! :) Comments -------- Joey’s dumbness shows through in his ‘mento’ comment. Why did the viewpoint have to switch to Chandler when Joey mentioned gay friends? ---------------- Friends S8-20 : TOW the Baby Shower If it wasn’t for last weeks clip show, this would have been the worst episode of the season. The guy’s storyline was boring & silly, and the girls one was hardly thrilling either. We start with the girls in C&M’s apartment, checking on the arrangements for Rachel’s baby shower. It soon emerges that one of the most important guests has been omitted – Sandra Green, Rachel’s mother. Invitations were Phoebe’s responsibility, but when Monica tackles her, she plays the dead mother card. Monica will have none of this, though! Monica has to phone Mrs Green to issue an invite, while pretending she hadn’t been forgotten. Unfortunately for Monica, Mrs Green already knew from her other daughters that she’d been forgotten, and so Monica is on the receiving end of her displeasure. She agrees to come for Rachel’s sake, not before Monica accidentally tells her the wrong start time though! Meanwhile, Joey is preparing to audition for a new game show, called Bamboozled, but he is having trouble learning the rules, so enlists Ross & Chandlers help. It turns out to be horrendously complicated, with the format of the show being far harder to follow than the actual questions. When Mrs Green arrives at the baby shower, she is still angry (unfairly) at Monica. She is upset at this, but Phoebe asks her why she cares – it doesn’t matter if not everyone likes her. During the party, it emerges that Rachel seems utterly unprepared to look after a baby, so, to her horror, Mrs Green invites herself to stay for 8 weeks. Trapped, Rachel doesn’t say no, despite the fact it is not her apartment to offer. When Rachel discusses it with Monica & Phoebe, Monica seems preoccupied with (ineffectively) trying to ingratiate herself with Sandra Green. Phoebe tells her she must put her foot down if she doesn’t want her mother staying. Monica agrees, thinking that it’ll deflect Sandra’s anger from her to Rachel. Phoebe even quips that she has new respect for Chandler (presumably due to him putting up with Monica’s foibles)! Monica then tries to distract everyone by suggesting they hand out Rachel’s presents, but even this backfires, as Mrs Green had no time to buy one, as she pointedly comments to Monica. When she examines her presents, it emerges just how unprepared Rachel is, not recognising a breast pump, or realising how much nappy-changing she’ll have to do. Even more worrying, she doesn’t realise you cannot leave a tiny baby alone! Back in Joey’s flat, the guys are beginning to get a grip of the rules of Bamboozle, though some are deeply unfair or bizarre, including bonuses for answering questions while hopping! When they finish, Ross goes next door to see Rachel, saying he bamboozled Chandler. At their bemused looks, he hurriedly explains it wasn’t anything sexual! At the same time, Rachel wonders how to break the bad news about their new ‘guest’. When Joey arrives at his audition, he finds most of his preparation was in vain – the producers have decided the rules were too complicated, and ditched most of them. He’s not keen on hosting a plain old quiz show, but relents when he finds out there will be girls in bikinis! :) When she does, Ross is concerned, realising that Mrs Green will drive them mad if she stays as long as she proposed to. He sets about dissuading Mrs Green, pointing out that he has a son, and therefore knows how to look after a baby. She finally agrees that she is not needed after all, though Ross’s reaction openly happy reaction is inappropriate! He says Rachel will be OK, citing how she has developed into a confident woman, from the spoiled brat who first arrived in the city. Despite repeated attempts, Monica can’t get Mrs Green to forgive her non-invite, but Phoebe finally persuades Monica she has taken enough, and tells her to confront Sandra. She does, but as soon as Phoebe turns away, her resolve weakens, and she apologises profusely for her outburst. Finally, Ross is testing Rachel on baby care, using the old rules of Bamboozle, getting carried away and forgetting he is supposed to be reassuring her. Comments -------- The Rachel/Joey awkwardness continuity error was bypassed by having no interaction between them all show. The writers dragged up Monica’s obsessiveness, which I’d hoped was long buried. Monica still looks HOT! ---------------- Friends S8-21 : TOW the Cooking Class I quite liked this one, a nice blend of storylines between the various characters. We begin in Central Perk, with Ross telling the gang he has some bad news – a food critic has dared to give Monica’s restaurant a bad review! He’s tried to protect her though, by buying up all the local copies of the paper. When Monica arrives though, she is excited - until sees the review! Joey tells her not to worry, he has had loads of bad reviews, and how happy he was to get his first good one. Unfortunately, he had misunderstood ‘abysmal’ as meaning ‘good’, and follows up by describing Monica’s cooking that way! That night, the heavily pregnant Rachel is having a freak-out about the birth – just a week to go, and she & Ross have not bought any baby stuff! Ross is very supportive though (even though he needs to pee), saying they’ll go and buy what they need the next day. She then comments on their current living situation, saying it is somewhat weird. At Ross’s concerned look though, she says she was just joking to delay him going to the bathroom. :) Next morning, Joey meets C&M at their apartment. She says she’s going to get some revenge on the reviewer, inviting Joey to taste something she’s cooking. Joey warily tastes it, asking if she’s cooked the reviewer! :) She has in fact cooked up a fresh batch of the dish he was most critical of, in order to show the reviewer how wrong he was. It also turns out that Chandler has a job interview Meanwhile, Ross & Rachel are out shopping for baby stuff. When they arrive at the checkout, arranging delivery of the goods, the female assistant (Katie) immediately takes a shine to Ross, as soon as she finds out that he & Rachel aren’t an item. She even likes the fact that he’s a palaeontologist. She also comments in his fitness, inflating Ross’s ego enormously by likening him to Indiana Jones! Meanwhile, for the first time in her life, Rachel is getting bored while holding a credit card. :) A little later, Rachel is talking to Phoebe about the incident, even calling Katie a hoare, and it is clear she is more than a little jealous! Chandler arrives greeting them with ‘Hey Phoebe, fatty’. He’s nervous about his interview, and Phoebe is not encouraging, saying he makes a poor first impression. When he queries this, she says he tries too hard, coming across as needy. He then asks for Rachel’s opinion, but rather than lie, she quickly makes an excuse & leaves! Monica arrives with Joey to confront the food critic at a cooking class, and asks him to try the dish she’s prepared. He doesn’t want to, but is ‘persuaded’ by Joey. :) It makes no difference though, he still doesn’t like it. Needing a confidence boost, she hangs around in the cooking class for a while. Back at Ross & Rachel’s apartment, Katie turns up unexpectedly on a feeble pretext, really with the intention of asking Ross out. Rachel overhears this, and mutters ‘horny bitch’ under her breath! Realising she’s been overheard, she pretends it to be the name of the cuddly dinosaur toy she is holding. :) She’s then forced to pretend to Katie that she’s OK with her dating Ross, but she’s fooling no-one. Back in his apartment, Phoebe is giving Chandler some interview practice. She says that after the initial awkwardness, his interviewer should see his sweet and wonderful side. Chandler is not reassured, saying that would take two weeks! She eventually says the best way to succeed is to fight all of his natural instinct to make quips. Back at the cooking class, Monica is pretending to be a novice, needing the validation of being the star pupil. She’s made cookies, and even gives the teacher a home made star to award back to her! In fact, while the teacher likes her cookies, she likes Joey’s ones even better, suggesting he should get the star! At this, Monica confesses to being a professional chef, but gains her needed confidence boost anyway, when the teacher says she likes Allesando’s food. She and Joey then make a quick exit, though not before Joey grabs his star-winning cookies. :) Chandler’s interview appears to be going well, until the interviewer says ‘duties’ indistinctly, sounding more like ‘doodies’. From that point on, Chandler is fighting hard to control himself, but just about gets through. He then blows it while walking out, by letting slip his real personality! When Ross arrives back from his date, Rachel immediately starts to interrogate him. She reveals that she doesn’t want him to date Katie, and when he accuses her of being jealous, she at least has the honesty to admit it. At the root of her insecurity is her apprehension about the pregnancy, wanting Ross to be at her back & call 24/7. Amazingly, he agrees, surprising even Rachel who admits how unreasonable she is being. Putting her demand down to pregnancy hormones, he forgives her, and they hug warmly. He then gets revenge for the trick she played on him earlier, kiddingly asking if she wants more or a relationship. The episode ends back at the college, when Monica spots an acting class, suggesting that Joey could get a confidence boost like she had. It fails though, when Joey can’t answer a basic question, so they rapidly leave! Comments -------- As for the last several shows, the Rachel/Joey awkwardness has been brushed aside by not having them interact. Rachel moves far too easily for a woman 9 months pregnant. She’s back to her possessiveness over Ross, thought at least this time she admits the problem. Monica looks even better than last week! More proof of Joey’s dumbness (which Tennant still denies). ---------------- Friends S8-22 : TOW Rachel is Late Another reasonable episode this week, mostly concentrating on Ross & Rachel. The episode begins in Central Perk, with Joey showing off a poster for his WW1 movie. He wants to invite the whole gang, but Rachel can’t go since she is due to give birth imminently. We then jump to a week later, and Rachel still hasn’t given birth – she’s also very uncomfortable & ratty! Ross tries to lighten the mood by wishing he was a Sea-horse. At their quizzical looks (except for Phoebe), he explains that male sea-horses, rather than females, give birth! Phoebe attempts to offer sympathy to Rachel, based on her own pregnancy experience, but all Rachel is interested in is iced tea. She then shouts ‘Get Out!’ to her baby! Another day later, Rachel *still* hasn’t given birth, and is getting ever more irritable. She was sent home from work, so to their dismay, she wants to hang out with the gang! Joey’s agent, Estelle, then rings up to tell him he can only take one guest, forcing Joey to make a very awkward choice. Monica immediately begins flirting outrageously, to get the guest ticket, promising she will wear a low-cut slutty dress that not even Chandler has seen her in! Phoebe says listen to her heart to make the choice, which she pretends beats Pheo-be, Phoe-be! Joey finally decides he will take Chandler though, to pay him back for how much he has supported his career. Later, Monica & Phoebe are discussing when Rachel will finally give birth, then they decide to make a bet – Phoebe suggesting an extraordinary $100k, Monica replying with a realistic $50. At the movie premiere, Joey is enjoying the adulation of his fans, but worries that Chandler looks taller than him, so asks him to crouch down slightly! Since Rachel still hasn’t given birth Monica is forced to pay up on her bet with Phoebe, Phoebe then taunts Monica by reminding her how much she hates losing. Ross then arrives to take Rachel to a doctor’s appointment, only to be dismayed at what she is wearing - a short top that totally fails to cover her pregnant belly. She refuses to change though, since it is 100F outside! When they get there, Rachel is very edgy, getting irritated by the most trivial of Ross’s actions, prompting him to suggest they don’t even talk until the doctor arrives, and even wondering if the doctor knows out to deliver a child half human, half pure evil! When she does, she suggests various methods by which R&R can finally encourage the birth : tea, castor oil, spicy food, a long walk… or sex! :) Rachel is so keen to hurry the birth that she throws a questioning glance towards Ross, but he says ‘You’ve gotta be kidding!’. Back at the movie premiere, Joey’s big scene is coming up, only for him to see that Chandler has fallen asleep! As the movie ands, He wakes Chandler up, who then tries to bluff his way through. Joey’s having none of it, and calls Chandler’s bluff , asking if Chandler liked the kangaroo scene. He’s trapped, and very apologetic, but Joey unsurprisingly, is not ready to forgive him! Back at Central Perk, Rachel is telling Monica & Phoebe about the suggested ways to bring on the birth. When Monica hears that sex is one of them, and that Ross is unwilling, she thinks only of winning her bet with Phoebe, and even suggests that Chandler does the deed! :) She’s forced to explain about the bet when Ross asks what on earth is going on. Surprisingly, Rachel isn’t concerned about this, and even wants in on the bet herself! They all end up betting, with Rachel expecting to win with her ‘inside’ information. Joey goes to confront Chandler, wanting to pay him for all the stuff Chandler has paid on his behalf over the years to clear his perceived debt to him. When Chandler lists out the figures for him, Joey tots them up on a calculator, and the sheer size of the figure persuades him that forgiving Chandler is a much cheaper option! Back at their apartment, Ross & Rachel are still trying to induce birth, excluding the one method that would be the most effective, since he doesn’t want to cross that boundary. She persists, but doesn’t help matters by accusing him of being a girl when he says ‘make love’ instead of ‘sex’. She then likens it to hitting a ketchup bottle to get the sauce to come out! She finally irritates him enough that he’s prepared to do it just to shut her up! After a quick, most unromantic grapple, Rachel’s water breaks, prompting Ross to say ‘I am good’! :) It then hits them that they are just about to have their baby, and this sparks real romantic feelings between them, but it’s now too late to act on them. Comments -------- The Rachel/Joey awkwardness has apparently ended now. Will Chandler ever get to see that dress of Monica’s? Not that she needs it, looking HOTTER every week! Another dumb Joey joke, which no doubt annoyed Tennant! The writers really love to tease about Ross & Rachel! ------------------------------------------------------ Friends S8-23/4 : TOW Rachel Has a Baby Very good finish to the season – especially the twist at the end! We begin with Ross & Rachel arriving at the hospital, with Ross commenting on how fast they got there. Imagine his surprise when he sees Monica, Phoebe, Joey & Chandler have all beaten them there! He just can’t understand it, asking if they have a magic tunnel. :) Rachel is then disappointed to find there are no private rooms available, only semi- private. She even tries to have Ross bribe the staff for a single room, but to no avail. When she’s settled in, the first of several other expectant couples move in with them. The first pair appear very helpful, but turn out a little *too* helpful, offering intimate advice that make R&R uncomfortable. It’s now 3 hours after the gang arrive at the hospital, and Monica decides to have some fun freaking out Chandler. She tells him that she wants to have a baby. To her great surprise, he says OK, having been thinking about that himself. This completely throws Monica, and she ends up having the reaction she expected from Chandler! She says she was just joking to get a reaction, then claims it is Joey she wants to father her baby! This gets the freak-out she was aiming for, just from Joey instead of Chandler! :) Judy Geller then turns up at the hospital in a last minute attempt to persuade Ross to marry Rachel. She offers a family wedding ring, but Ross insists that he & Rachel don’t want to get married just because of the baby. Judy isn’t the only one with a R&R marriage on the mind though. The others are discussing it, and Joey shows he hasn’t gotten over his crush yet, by describing Rachel as the Perfect Woman. The next couple that share the room with Rachel are volatile & foul-mouthed, with the woman (rightly as it turns out) accusing her husband of staring at Rachel. Ross turns on the guy, but the woman suddenly becomes protective of her husband, leaving R&R bemused, and hoping the couple will soon leave! Monica finds Chandler looking at babies, but he tells her he is crazy about Monica, rather than babies. She finally realises he is serious about wanting a baby, and calculating that right now is the best time for conception, they head off to find an empty room! Meanwhile, Phoebe strikes up a conversation with a cute guy in a wheelchair, but before they can exchange phone numbers, he leaves in an elevator. She heads to the reception desk to see if she can track him down, but patient confidentiality prevents this. Joey then steps in to help, assuming his Dr Drake Remoray persona, persuading the intimidated clerk to tell him which room Phoebe’s guy is in. C&M finally find an empty room, but when they begin foreplay Monica forgets why they are doing this, asking if Chandler has a condom! :) Before they get very far, they are interrupted though. Phoebe has tracked down her potential boyfriend, and asks Joey to pretend to be Dr Remoray again, to find out about the guy. He does, but barely pulls it off, almost flunking simple questions, and alarming the guy, Clifford, with intimate ones! Rachel is now getting seriously stressed, having seen three other women go to deliver their babies before her! The nurse reassures her that the next patient is not imminently due to give birth, but when she is wheeled in, it is *Janice*!!! :) Ross & Rachel look up in shocked surprise, and they both wonder who the father of her baby is. It turns out his name is Sid, and he is nearly deaf – explaining everything! It is R&R’s hearing that is threatened though, when Janice starts having her contractions! :) C&M have found another room to have sex in, a private room next to Rachel’s which has become available to the extended period of Rachel’s labour. Monica lies down, saying to Chandler ‘fertilise me’! Before he can begin though, the mood is ruined by Janice’s foghorn voice from the next room. They both recognise it, and get up to investigate. They find her, and Janice mentions that, unlike Rachel, she shouldn’t have problems giving birth because she has a very wide pelvis, then greatly embarrassing Chandler by reminding him he knows that! He then asks who the hapless father is, and she can’t resist joking that it is him, despite them not having slept together for 5 years. Phoebe is now chatting to Clifford, and when his foot itches, she even scratches it with a spoon. When he comments on this, she says ‘It’s not like we’re forking’! :) Janice has now left to give birth, and so has another woman following her, so Ross tries to comfort Rachel by sweetly telling her she’s given the baby such a good home for 9 months that it doesn’t want to leave. She’s not fooled, but appreciates his gesture anyway. When the nurse arrives, Rachel desperately suggests they build a fire & smoke the baby out, but she is told she is finally ready to give birth at last. Phoebe is still chatting to Clifford when he sees Joey on TV in DooL, realising he isn’t a real doctor, and becoming suspicious & angry when Joey himself appears to tell Phoebe that Rachel has gone into labour. Phoebe comes clean, asking if he’ll give her another chance. He’s unwilling, and Phoebe’s case isn’t helped by Joey’s misguided attempts to clear the air by telling some of Phoebe’s colourful past life! Rachel is now in the delivery room, and her agony is made worse by it being a breach-birth, meaning she’ll have to push even harder. Ross also suffers, as Rachel accidentally head-buts him during a particularly hard push! At last it is over though, and Rachel finally gets to hold their beautiful baby girl. :) They still haven’t picked a name though, temporarily calling her ‘baby-girl Gellar- Green’. R&R then share a very tender hand-holding moment. The gang are then invited in and they each in turn hold the baby. Monica commenting she’s glad R&R got drunk & had sex, Chandler mentioning the 47 hour labour, and Joey strangely saying ‘she looks so real’. Rachel is now crying from emotional overload, and asks Ross to pick one of the two baby names they’d lined up. She turns them both down though (Isabella & Delilah), and asks Monica what names she had lined up for her babies. Chandler is surprised that she’d picked names already, but is told that Monica had them lined up since age 14. At this, he quips that the baby names will be Monica’s favourite snack foods! Monica doesn’t want to tell Rachel the girl name she had lined up, but is gently persuaded. It is Emma, and Monica kindly lets her new niece be named that, saying that nothing goes with Bing anyway. :) When Monica holds the baby, her maternal instinct kicks into overdrive, and she drags Chandler off to a broom cupboard to make a little cousin for Emma! A little later, Janice comes in to see Rachel, and to show off her own new baby, Aaron. Her visit isn’t coincidental though, she’s come to warn Rachel of the perils of raising a baby alone. This is something Rachel hasn’t thought much about, assuming Ross would be around. Janice points out that if R&R aren’t an item, he will want to lead his own life. Rachel just thinks that if he does meet another woman, he marry & divorce again, because ‘it’s Ross’! :) Rachel is left worried though. Ross then arrives, barely concealing his reaction to Janice’s baby’s large nose. Rachel, seeking comfort, mentions the kiss they shared earlier, but Ross stops this line of thought, claiming he doesn’t want to go back down that road. As he leaves, she sighs ‘so it begins’. A few minutes later though, Ross admits to Phoebe the real reason he doesn’t want to get back with Rachel – he’s scared of how a further break-up would affect Emma. She points out that he could have everything he wanted since age 14 though. Joey arrives at Rachel’s room, only to find her crying about the possibility of being alone. He says he won’t let that happen. He then turns to pick up Ross’s jacket that had been left on a chair, and Mrs Gellar’s antique ring falls out of the pocket. He opens the box, turning round. Rachel looks up at this moment, and seeing Joey on his knees with a ring in his hand, immediately leaps to the wrong conclusion, and reluctantly accepts his ‘proposal’. A shocked Joey immediately realises what’s happened… [and there we leave it until season 9] Comments -------- I won’t make too many, as I’m sure Tennant has already covered almost everything. Great finale! A baby for Chandler & Monica? In one early season episode (can’t remember which), we saw Janice’s baby in a push- chair, and it appeared to be a boy, but now she refers to it as ‘her’. ------------------------------------------------------