Friends S9-01 : TOW No-One Proposes A fair start to the new season, though they did choose to go to the overused ‘misunderstanding’ plot device, rather than come up with something original. We begin where S8 left off, with Rachel reluctantly accepting Joey’s imagined proposal. A little later we Joey return, intending to tell Rachel the truth, but walks in to see Ross there, thus preventing him. Then the others arrive too, plus Jack Gellar, delaying Joey further. Ross then takes his father to see baby Emma, whereupon Jack goes misty-eyed over his ‘first’ grandchild, forgetting about Ben! Joey takes Chandler to one side to ask for advice on how to get out of his non- proposal to Rachel. Meanwhile, Monica persuades Chandler to have another attempt at creating their own baby, and they slip into a broom closet. Rachel manages to get some alone-time with Phoebe, and she tells her she is engaged. Phoebe, thinking she’d earlier talked Ross into proposing, assumes it was Ross who asked, so confusion ensues. Jack Gellar, having heard noises from the closet, realises there is a couple having sex in there – but not who it is. He peeks in, only to get a horrible shock! When Phoebe she runs into Ross, she congratulates him, only for him to deny proposing. She then lays out the facts, and convinces a sleep-deprived Ross that he may have accidentally done so! Joey then makes another attempt to explain the misunderstanding to Rachel, but then she starts trying to breast-feed Emma, and he’s too embarrassed to continue. On opposite sides of the closet door, Jack, and Chandler & Monica all stand there traumatised. C&M realise they must come out eventually, but when they do, Monica’s father is still there. An awkward conversation follows, made even more so when Jack realises C&M are trying for a baby, and offers advice! When Monica next sees Rachel, she tells her Joey proposed. Monica makes her realise she must turn him down as she doesn’t love him. At the same time, Chandler is telling Joey that he must come clean to Rachel. He says he was trying but then she got her breast out! When Ross next sees Rachel, he thinks he actually did propose when he sees her wearing his ring, and it takes him a while for Rachel to convince him it was Joey who proposed. Joey then arrives and finally clears up the confusion by explaining how she mistook his actions. Everything seems to be cleared up, but then Ross realises that Rachel accepted Joey’s ‘proposal’… Comments : Why would Chandler ask what Rachel’s breast looked like, when he’d seen them in TOW the Boobies? All three girls look great. Friends S9-02 : TOW Emma Cries Another reasonable episode, though none of the stories was particularly strong. Still at the hospital, Ross is upset than Rachel accepted Joey’s proposal, then Joey arrives, and realising the score, makes a rapid exit! The gang have decorated R&R’s flat for her arrival home with Emma, with Phoebe having to do some creative alteration of a banner that proclaimed ‘It’s a boy’. Chandler is there, but asleep, having been awake all night over a divisional meeting at work. When Rachel arrives she is delighted at what the gang have done, except for a giant cuddly gorilla, until she realises they’ve bought it for her. When Chandler gets to his meeting, he’s still overtired, and makes a terrible mistake – he accidentally agrees to take over the company’s office in Tulsa, Oklahoma! All three of the girls are doting on the sleeping Emma, then Rachel goes against Phoebe’s advice and picks Emma up, causing her to bawl the house down! Rachel (with Emma still crying) sends Ross out to get some more nappies, asking him to get her a muffin from Central Perk too. When he gets there he finds a deeply envious Gunther! Just as Ross leaves though, he runs into Joey, and they attempt to resolve their differences. It all ends in pain though, as Joey goads Ross him into trying to hit him, then ducking at the last moment, causing Ross to punch a metal pipe! Chandler comes home, with the difficult task of explaining to Monica they will be moving to Tulsa. Naturally she’s not happy, and sends him away to try and get out of it. He tries to talk to his boss, but puts his foot in it and chickens out, leaving himself stuck in the same predicament! Joey has taken Ross to hospital to get his hand checked out, and it turns out he has a broken thumb. This necessitates Joey filling out Ross’s medical forms, revealing that he’s forgotten a lot of Ross’s personal details, including his birthday! One of the questions is who to contact in an emergency – he says Rachel, and this gets him considering their relationship again. Back at the apartment, Emma is *still* crying, and Rachel is at her wits end. She finally hands her to Monica who has the magic touch and Emma falls asleep immediately. Rachel then designates Monica as her 24/7 baby-crying-stopper! Finally, in Central Perk Joey is explaining to Chandler how Ross got hurt, and poor Ross ends up getting hit again! Comments : I can only assume that the whole Tulsa storyline is to cover MP’s absence if he has to go into rehab again. It appears as if they may have dropped the ‘Joey loving Rachel’ storyline (I hope)! Friends S9-03 : TOW the Paediatrician Only one thing saves this episode from mediocrity, and anyone who’s familiar with my newsgroup postings will have already guessed what that is! :) Yes, it’s the guest-star I’ve been waiting to see for months – the drop-dead-gorgeous Dedee Pfeiffer! Anyhow, dragging myself reluctantly back to the episode, three moderate storylines this week, only one of which advances the overall series plot. We start with Chandler and Monica calling the rest of the gang together to inform them about their move to Tulsa. Naturally they are upset, and Joey is in complete denial. Ross tells Monica she mustn’t go as she is the glue that holds the group together, but an opportunistic Phoebe gets in first call for their apartment! Rachel is still freaking out over motherhood, and pissing off her paediatrician Dr. Weaner (whose name amuses Joey constantly) by calling him at all hours over trivial matters. Eventually he has enough, and fires her from his books. Reflecting to Phoebe about C&M, Joey thinks he might be ready for a serious long- term relationship, with the proviso that the woman must be HOT! They agree to find partners for each other to go on a double date. Chandler returns from work to tell Monica he has some good news – he’s arranged that he only has to work 4 days a week in Tulsa, so they don’t have to move. This Monica can’t accept though, as she doesn’t want to be away from Chandler even that long. Just before Joey & Phoebe’s double date, she turns up to tell him she’s found the perfect woman for him, her friend Mary-Ellen Jenkins - smart, sexy, and not averse to threesomes! A look of dismay appears on Joey’s face though as he realises he’s totally forgotten to find Phoebe a date. All he can do is bluff, and tell her his name is Mike. He heads off down to Central Perk, looking for any guy named Mike, and luckily finds a presentable one. Rachel is looking for a new paediatrician, and suggests the one who looked after Ross & Monica. A guilty-looking Ross claims he (Dr Gedelman) is dead. A little later, Ross & Rachel arrive at Monica’s apartment, where Rachel is told that their doctor is very much alive, and Ross has to bluff that he confused him with his shrink (whom he visited because of childhood nightmares that Monica was going to eat him!) :) Joey and Mike are now at the restaurant, waiting for Phoebe and her friend, with Joey having briefed Mike on some details of his life so he can pretend to have known him a long time. Phoebe then turns up with Mary-Ellen (played by Dedee Pfeiffer), and she is as incredible as was promised – slim, blonde, sexy and almost bursting out of her low- cut dress!! Remarkably though, Joey is more concerned with Mike making constant slip-ups in their concocted history. Back at home, Chandler is on the internet looking for cooking jobs for Monica in Tulsa, but only turning up ones on cheesy theme restaurants. She has her own contact though, and when she calls her, she gets offered a great job – in Manhattan… Joey & Mikes cover story is rapidly coming unravelled, with the final straw being when Mary-Ellen comments than an inattentive Joey is much nicer on Days Of Our Lives. Mike blurts out that that’s where he recognises Joey from, and Phoebe realises to her distress that she’s been set up with a guy Joey just met. She immediately leaves, along with Mary-Ellen, and Joey blows any chance of a second date by forgetting her name (given the amount of cleavage she was showing, he may have been distracted!) Rachel goes along with Emma to see her new Paediatrician, only to find Ross already there – as a patient! This later causes him even more embarrassment as she relates the story to the rest of the gang! Monica has to tell Chandler about her NY job offer, and after a token protest he says she should take it, as he realises from her ‘chattering monkey’ talk how much it would mean to her. Phoebe gets a surprise in Central Perk – Mike is waiting for her, and despite the disastrous first date, he wants to see her again. They get chatting and realise they have a lot in common. Ross still won’t see a normal doctor, and his stubbornness costs him when an attractive single-mother he’s chatting up at the paediatricians finds out that he, as well as Emma, are patients there. Finally it is time for Chandler to leave, with hugs all round except from Joey who’s acting all distant to cover his true feelings. He finally breaks down and admits how much he will miss Chandler, though. Comments : It’s hard to find superlatives enough to describe how Dedee looked! I wish her rather than Mike, had returned for a second date. I’d better stop now before the testosterone level reaches critical mass. :) Friends S9-04 : TOW the Sharks I have to say that IMO, this was a very weak episode. All three storylines were poor, without even the compensation of last week’s guest- star. The episode begins in Central Perk, with Phoebe waiting for her date with Mike. Ross tells her he envies how she can keep dating guys without ever needing a serious relationship. This upsets her though as she wants a long-term partner, and Ross’s attempts to comfort her backfire, when she starts to envy even Ross’s dodgy relationship record! As a consequence, when Mike arrives she is all tearful, and her make-up has become a mess. Later on, Joey is checking out a girl (with Monica’s help!) and when she tells him that Chandler has to stay in Tulsa for the weekend, he suggests she pays him a surprise visit, bringing her black see-through teddy with garters! She asks how he knew about that – but he’d just guessed! Joey is chatting up the girl (Hayley) he saw, throwing in a few little white lies, which cause the watching Gunther to snort with derision! She beats Joey to it though, by asking him out first. When they get back to her apartment though, he recognises it, thinking he must have slept with her before, and being disappointed that she apparently doesn’t remember him! Elsewhere, not surprisingly Phoebe’s date didn’t go well, as she tells Ross. He then heads off to Mikes apartment to try and explain what happened. He admits he upset her just before the date and tries to get him to give her a 2nd chance, only to find that Mike has already phoned Phoebe for another date. Ross then puts his foot in it by explaining Phoebe was upset because she’d never had a long relationship. Realising that sounded bad, he then compounds the error by creating a fictitious long relationship with ‘Vikram’, that went badly. In Tulsa, Chandler arrives at his hotel looking forward to an evening of watching porn. Monica then arrives (though typically being unable to resist straightening a picture) catching Chandler wanking to his porn channel! He switches channel quickly to disguise what he was watching, leaving the TV on a documentary about sharks. After a brief hug, Monica retreats to the bathroom to phone Rachel up, believing that Chandler was getting off watching shark porn! :) When Monica returns, she discusses the incident with Rachel who tells her that guys are different, letting slip one of Ross’s old fantasies in the process – that he’d be an archaeologist and she, a sexy cave-girl frozen in a glacier! Joey is still not getting over the idea that Hayley could have forgotten having sex with him, then Rachel says they must both be so slutty that they are made for each other. Ross goes to see Phoebe to explain what he has said to Mike, and unsurprisingly, she is not happy. The more he tries to explain, the worse he makes things, and by the time Mike turns up, she is thoroughly confused as to exactly what Ross has said about her. She eventually comes clean to Mike though, and he thanks her for her honesty, following up by kissing her. The mood is broken by Ross phoning up using a fake Indian accent, pretending to be Vikram. On Joey’s next date with Hayley, he blurts out ‘why don’t you remember sleeping with me?’ only for Hayley’s blonde roommate to turn up, causing him to remember it was *her* he’d actually slept with. All he can do now is make a rapid exit! When Chandler gets home from his work in Tulsa, Monica has another surprise for him. Despite her discomfort at his apparent perversion, she has bought him some ‘shark porn’. He’s left wondering what’s going on, until she tells him what she saw him doing. He then explains that he’d actually been watching girl-on-girl porn and had just flicked the channel as she came in. Monica is much relieved! Comments : Is Monica a saint, or what! They need to hire some better writers. Friends S9-05 : TOW Phoebe’s Birthday Dinner Another average & directionless episode this week I’m afraid. The only thing that lifted it above mediocrity was Monica’s state of undress for a good part of the time! :) It’s Phoebe’s birthday, and she wants the whole gang to come to her dinner since they haven’t been together as a group for a long while. Monica says they are all here *now*, absent-mindedly omitting her husband! Chandler is in Tulsa of course, and he’s chairing his first meeting. He soon discovers that smoking in public places in Oklahoma is legal as his whole board lights up, so to go along with the flow, he lights up too, despite the reaction he knows he’ll get from Monica! Phoebe goes to see Monica at her apartment, only to find that she’s expecting Chandler & is wearing a *very* low-cut nightdress! She soon leaves, running into Chandler on the way out. She immediately smells the cigarette smoke on him, and tells him that he won’t fool Monica – she has the nose of a bloodhound… and the breasts of a Greek Goddess. Her eyes then glaze over until Chandler distracts her! When Chandler goes into the apartment, he immediately tries to mask the smoky smell. Monica immediately realises something is up though, as he doesn’t immediately respond to her seductive pose. He’s soon forced to admit he’s been smoking again. Rachel wants to go to Phoebe’s dinner, but it is the first time she’s left Emma, and she’s freaking out about it, even though Ross has arranged for his mother to baby-sit. He leads Rachel outside the apartment to reassure her, only to find they are both now locked out! Phoebe & Joey are the first to arrive at the restaurant for her birthday dinner, and they are left hungry as the place has a policy of not serving guests until the whole party arrives. Chandler & Monica are delayed as they’re arguing about his smoking. She accuses him of having no willpower, whereupon he reminds her she used to eat candy without even bothering to remove the wrapper! She reminds him they are trying for a baby though, and pulls him to the bedroom for a very unromantic coupling! Rachel is now panicking, and wants Ross to break the door in. She imagines all sorts of impossible harm that might be happening to Emma, causing Ross to set up a half- mocking scenario to demonstrate that she is worrying unduly. Back at the restaurant, the waiter wants to move Phoebe & Joey to a smaller table. Joey wants to go to the bathroom, but Phoebe knows she will be persuaded to move if he isn’t there. He has to go though, and she does get moved to a smaller table. When he returns he sits down at the old table only to find strangers there! Back at their apartment, Chandler persuades Monica that they shouldn’t try for a baby while they are arguing, but she then appears to forgive him and they go for it. Judy Gellar finally arrives & R&R’s apartment with her spare key, and once inside Rachel says she’ll never leave Emma again, only for Ross to remind her they are overdue for Phoebe’s dinner. Judy then relates a deeply embarrassing (to Ross) story about how hard it can be to leave your child behind. After sex, Chandler gets another telling off from Monica for smoking. He complains that they’d made up, only for her to tell him she tricked him into bed by just pretending they’d settled their argument. He’s left feeling very used! Back at the restaurant, the ravenous Joey & Phoebe finally start to order their meals without the others, only for R&R to arrive, delaying the meal order. They also have Judy & Emma in tow, Rachel being unable to leave Emma behind. Joey makes another attempt to get food, only for Chandler & Monica to turn up, causing Joey even more delay! They’re still arguing, with Monica suggesting Chandler have the *smoked* duck, and he saying she should have the *manipulative shrew*. :) Joey finally decides to order for them all! Rachel still can’t stop being a mother, ending up by calling instructions across the room to Judy. Phoebe now gets a Phone call from her boyfriend Mike, and after thanking everyone for (eventually) coming, she immediately leaves. Ross & Rachel soon follow, and Chandler & Monica then also disappear for their last chance this month to create a baby, leaving Joey alone. Just then, the food arrives, and Joey relishes the challenge of eating all six meals! This he manages, and also starts on Phoebe’s birthday cake too! Comments : Bloody hell, Monica looked hot this week! :) [Ok, that’s about all I have] Friends S9-06 : TOW the Male Nanny *That* was the best they could come up with for the 200th episode?? :( IMO this is an extremely weak episode. None of the stories had any real hook to them, and laughs were few & far between. The episode starts with Monica phoning Chandler in Tulsa, waking him up to tell him about her new job. She raves about how big the kitchen is, and how clean, even by her standards. Chandler is still half dozing, but gets shocked wide awake when Monica tells him the maitre’d is the funniest person she’s ever met… Phoebe & Mike’s relationship is moving along, though not enough for Joey’s questions about how serious they are, not to make them uncomfortable. They do agree to exchange apartment keys, though. Rachel’s return to work from maternity leave is approaching, and she & Ross are interviewing prospective nannies for Emma. After a serious of unsuitable ones, the last on the list is Sandy who seems like the most likely candidate. When Ross opens the door to let Sandy in, it turns out that Sandy is a man! Back at her apartment, Phoebe has an unexpected visitor – her old flame, David-the- scientist-guy, back from Minsk on a visit! Caught by surprise, she lies and tells him she is not seeing anyone. She later confesses to Monica, saying she couldn’t help it because he is so irresistible. When Chandler arrives back home, he is determined to prove *he* is the funniest guy in Monica’s life. Unfortunately he tries too hard, and all his Oklahoma jokes fall flat. Monica makes his insecurity worse by going on and on about her funny restaurant guy. After the initial shock of finding that Sandy is a guy, Ross & Rachel interview him. Rachel is charmed by his sensitivity, but Ross immediately asks if he is gay! He says otherwise, but Ross is still unimpressed, as he regards him as overemotional. A jealous Chandler now solicits Joey’s help to prove how funny he is, but Joey blows the opportunity. Phoebe regretfully confesses to David that she is in a relationship. He’s as upset hearing it as she is telling him, but their passion takes over and they start to kiss anyway! Sandy has become R&R’s nanny despite Ross’s misgivings. When he arrives home he finds Rachel crying at one of Sandy’s stories, so he asks to have a word with her. She sees no problem with him though, and Ross can’t convince her how uncomfortable Sandy’s sensitivity makes him, especially after she hears him playing ‘Greensleeves’ to Emma on a recorder. Phoebe is trying to resist David, not altogether successfully, when Mike arrives, using his newly acquired key… Being unable to influence Rachel, Ross now complains to Monica about the male nanny, but she takes Rachel’s side. Ross finally finds someone on his side though when Joey turns up. He agrees with Ross that it is weird to be a male nanny. The conversation then switches to Chandler. Ross & Joey tell Monica why Chandler has been upset, and tell her she needs to do some damage control. When Chandler arrives though, the three of them laugh far too hard at his jokes, and he immediately realises that Joey told Monica why he was unhappy, and that he’s just getting pity laughs. She eventually manages to reassure him, saying that her waiter had become less funny, but after Chandler leaves, admits to Joey that she was lying as he was so funny he made her pee herself! At Phoebe’s apartment, Mike is naturally angry at David’s presence, and for a while it appears they may fight over her! She manages to calm Mike down though, assuring him that David is only in town for a couple of days, and that it is over between them. Ross finally has enough of Sandy when he comes home to find him teaching Rachel & Joey how to play the recorder, and he finally marshals a persuasive argument to get rid of ‘Sandy Poppins’. He tells Rachel he would never hire someone she was that uncomfortable with, and she finally agrees to let him go, provided that Ross is the one to fire him. Ross tries to break the news to Sandy as gently as possible, but gets trapped into revealing his own emotions when Sandy asks him why Ross wants him out. Comments : Sandy was played by Freddy Prinze Jnr - Sarah Michelle Gellar’s husband. If anything, Sandy’s emotions made me even more uncomfortable than Ross was – far too overplayed IMO. Rachel seems to have regained her (gorgeous) figure in just two months. Friends S9-07 : TOW Ross’s Inappropriate Song S9 so far really isn’t shaping up well. Another bland episode, with an underlying theme of inappropriateness. The episode begins with Ross playing with baby Emma. He sings to her, and when he starts a Rap song, she laughs for the very first time! Joey is seeking financial advice from Chandler & Monica. At the moment his money is hidden behind the toilet, and the only suggestion he’s had so far is for an ‘Emu farm’, and in any case he thinks Emus are plants. When corrected, he won’t believe that Emus, or any other birds, are food until he talks himself through an order of chicken at a restaurant! :) C&M suggest real estate, and Monica tells him Richard’s apartment is up for sale, incidentally making Chandler wonder how she knows that. Phoebe is to meet Mike’s parents, and she’s concerned about the prospect as they come from a very upmarket area of NY. She’s told to be herself, and Rachel offers her advice to flirt lightly with the father, and complement the mother about her son. She says that made Judy Geller like her, saying Rachel ‘was like the daughter she never had’. Naturally this upsets Monica who is standing right there! When Rachel gets home, Ross tells her about Emma laughing, and Rachel is upset she missed it by giving ‘that stupid hippy’ a makeover. She’s concerned when Ross tells her why she laughed though - he sang her an inappropriate Rap song called ‘Baby Got Bad’. Joey & Chandler visit Richard’s apartment to check whether it’s worth investing in. The realtor embarrases Chanlder by mistaking him & Joey for a gay couple, then when he rapidly corrects her, Joey increases his discomfort by being insulted that he denied it so strongly! Chandler is clearly still intimidated by Richard, and when he finds a tape with Monica’s name on, he freaks out, thinking that it might be a sex tape! When Phoebe arrives at Mike’s parents house, she adopts a posh accent to try and made a good impression. Mike tells her that’s unnecessary as she should just be honest. When asked where she is from, she tells Mike’s parents the sordid details of her past, alarming them more than a little. She then takes Rachel’s advice to flirt a little with the father, but comes unstuck when punching him playfully in the stomach as he’s recently had surgery. She fares no better with the mother as she embarrases her by talking about her sex life with Mike! Back home, Chandler is agonising over whether to watch the tape he took from Richards apartment. He finally persuades Joey to watch it for him, and is at first relieve that it appears just to be a football game. Within a few seconds though, it turns out that it *is* a sex tape, and Joey knocks Chandler to the ground to stop him seeing it. At that moment Monica arrives, and Joey pulls her down too as soon as she realises it is Richard. Across the street, Rachel is trying unsuccessfully to make Emma laugh, and in desperation she finally resorts to the same rap song Ross tried. Emma giggles and Rachel delightedly cuddles her. Pheobe is now sitting down for a meal with Mike’s family, and valiantly tries to eat the veal offered, despite her being a vegetarian. She can’t though, and rushes off to throw up in the toilet! Back at the apartment, Monica is mortified that the tape has turned up, but when Chandler mentions her wearing cowboy boots, she realises it can’t be her. A mightily relieved Chandler says ‘life is good again’, but Monica is insulted that Richard taped over her! While Phoebe is out of the room, Mike’s parents try to persuade him to see other women, but he stands up in Phoebe’s defence, telling his parents that he loves her. Phoebe, overhearing this, tells Mike she loves him! Finally, both Ross & Rachel are rapping to Emma to make her laugh, only to be caught by the rest of the gang, whereupon Ross ungallantly blames Rachel for singing the inappropriate song. Comments : Is there an unwritten rule that says there must be a gay Chandler & dumb Joey joke in *every* episode? :( I don’t like Rap music, and the song chosen is a good reason why! Anyone else think Mike & Phoebe are moving too fast? Why can’t Chandler get over his insecurity about Richard? One for Tennant – the baby that plays Emma definitely looks like a boy to me. Friends S9-08 : TOW Rachel’s Other Sister At last – quite a good episode. :) The three storylines meshed well, even if two of them weren’t particularly strong. It’s Thanksgiving again, and Chandler persuades Monica to use the wedding china for her party, though she wants to save for a visit from the Queen! Joey is watching the parade on TV, but then he sees the Days of Our Lives float and realises he should have been *on* it! Ross & Rachel are in Ross’s apartment looking after baby Emma. She tells Emma that what she should by thankful for is her boobie, and Ross quips that a lot of guys would agree with that sentiment. :) Just then, there is a knock at the door. It is Rachel’s ‘missing’ sister Amy (played by Christina Applegate of ‘Married With Children’ fame). She’s in town to see her boyfriend, and to borrow a hair-straightener from Rachel. The fact that she’s seeing the baby for the first time is purely incidental. In fact she even gets the baby’s sex wrong calling her Emmett, rather than Emma! Ross recognises Amy, but she doesn’t recognise him. The only recollection she has of his name was of a geeky guy who had a crush on Rachel in high school. She tactlessly continues with this theme, even after Ross tells her he *was* that ‘geeky guy’. Across the street Monica barely lets Chandler touch her special crockery, imploring him to ‘be careful’ at every move. Joey asks Phoebe to come up with a plausible lie as to why he wasn’t on the DooL float, as he’s a terrible liar. Back at Ross & Rachel’s, Amy says that she hopes Emma won’t have Rachel’s real nose, and after initial denial, Rachel admits she’s worried about that too! Amy then gets a phone call that ruins her Thanksgiving plans – her (married!) boyfriend can’t make it. Rachel reluctantly suggests that she go with them to Monica’s party, an act which Ross likens to the Pilgrims giving the Indians syphilis (see comments). Rachel takes Amy across the street to Monica’s party, and when she’s introduced, recognises Joey from DooL. He’s pleased at first, until she comments that he must need a lot of make-up for his part! She also mixes up the names, thinking Phoebe is Emma, and calling Emma Emily. Amy then comes out with another thoughtless comment, saying to R&R ‘What if you guys died?’ It turns out that she bizarrely imagined that she’d get guardianship of Emma in those circumstances! Ross & Rachel then break the news that they’d want Chanlder & Monica to look after Emma if the worst happened. C&M are delighted & flattered to hear this, but Amy is incredulous. Just before the meal starts, Ross makes fun of Monica’s plate safety obsession by pretending to almost drop the plate. She’s not amused, especially after Ross’s fooling around almost makes him drop the plate for real! Joey notices he is the only one with an ordinary plate, but is gullible enough to believe Monica’s excuse for not trusting him with a good one. Amy is still not getting over her perceived snub, asking why ‘the strangers’ C&M would get custody. When Rachel points out that Monica is Ross’s sister, Amy again demonstrates her self-centredness by not associating the slim gorgeous Monica with the fat Monica from high school. Chanlder then gets a nasty surprise when R&R say he wouldn’t get sole custody of Emma if Monica wasn’t in the picture – she would then go to Jack & Judy Geller. A left-out Joey then asks who’d have to die for him to get her! :) Chandler asks why he wouldn’t get sole custody, and Ross said they prefer a cross between C’s fun-ness & M’s discipline. He catches Ross out though, by trapping Ross into lying that Monica wouldn’t get Emma on her own either. After a while, Monica notices that Chandler is missing, and finds him sulking on the landing. He admits that R&R were right about his potential failings as a parent, but Monica manages to reassure him, reminding him that she wouldn’t be trying to have a baby with him if she doubted his parental ability. Phoebe manages to think of a plausible lie for Joey to use : a family emergency - but he crumbles when Phoebe tests his story, resorting to his perennial excuse – a raccoon did it! :) Amy is now pretending not to talk to Rachel, but soon reveals what her issues really are – jealousy of Rachel (especially her Ralph Loren discount!), which she tries to cover by claiming Rachel is the jealous one. Rachel then spells out some brutal home truths - that Amy is irresponsible, immature & lacks regard for the feelings of others. Amy responds by going too far – saying that Emma is not cute. This causes a shoving match that soon degenerates into a sister- fight! Panicking Monica desperately tries to protect her plates, but Rachel soon accidentally breaks one, causing Monica almost to faint. :) Chandler has now had enough, telling off both Rachel & Amy, and making them apologise to each other. This impresses Ross enough that he says that Chandler could have sole guardianship of Emma after all. Monica meanwhile is mourning her lost plate. :) Making up, Rachel tells Amy she can use her Ralph Loren discount. Flushed with a new-found sense of responsibility Chandler volunteers to attend to the crying Emma, but knocks over a box containing *all* of Monica’s expensive crockery. At this, he says that it will be him that’ll die first, when Monica finds out! :) Comments : In reality, syphilis was a New World disease, so the Pilgrims would have caught it *from* the Indians. Strange that a scientist like Ross wouldn’t know that. Amy’s selfishness & tactlessness was overplayed, and she wasn’t chided enough for it. Another longer than usual episode – just over 24 minutes. Friends S9-09 : TOW Rachel’s Phone Number Oh dear, another very below par episode – only saved from being a total bust by Rachel’s cleavage. :) Three stories that must have come straight out of the ‘weak story’ bin. We start in Tulsa with Joey phoning Chandler to tell him he has some courtside Knicks tickets. Chandler really wants to go, but also wants to spend time with Monica. When he phones her, she tells him to be honest – that he prefers to be with his wife rather than at a game with Joey. Unwisely he dismisses this approach. Rachel is finally ready to leave Emma for the first time, for a night out with Phoebe. When Ross sees what’s she’s wearing, his eyes are on stalks with the amount of cleavage she is flashing! He is staying home to baby-sit Emma, but to Rachel’s surprise he’s invited Mike to hang out with him – figuring they’d have a lot in common. When Phoebe arrives with Mike, she takes one look at Rachel’s dress and says ‘It really is a girl’s night out!’ :) As soon as Ross & Mike are left alone though, they realise they have absolutely nothing in common, and both lapse into an awkward silence. The only topic of conversation they can come up with is food & beer. When Chandler arrives home, he locks the door because he’s told Joey he’s stuck in Tulsa. Joey still wants to come in though, and as Chandler hides, Monica feebly tries to explain her scanty attire as practicing seduction for Chandler’s return. Joey is left suspicious though. Out in a bar, Rachel admits to Phoebe there was a ‘moment’ between her and Ross, but they she doesn’t know whether to pursue it. They’ve already caught the eye of two guys at the bar though, and when Phoebe expresses interest, Rachel has to remind her that she has a boyfriend and Rachel has a baby and a ‘Ross’. :) Joey’s suspicion leads him to call Chandler’s cellphone, and inform him that Monica may be cheating on him – he implores him to come home immediately. As Joey is guarding the door, Chandler realises the only solution is to go down the fire escape, wait a while, then pretend to have just gotten back from Tulsa, hoping Joey won’t figure out the trick. Back in the bar, possibly due to being slightly drunk, Rachel gives her phone number to one of the guys (Bill), only realising how Ross may interpret this when Phoebe has a word with her. She tries to retrieve her number, but it’s too late, the guy has left. Meanwhile, Ross & Mike’s boredom has reached a peak and he excuses himself, for which they are both very grateful. Barely has he stepped out the door though, when he gets a frantic call from Rachel, asking him to intercept any calls Ross gets. Only the promise of ‘dirty’ sex from Phoebe persuades him though. Chandler ‘arrives back’ to find Joey waiting with a baseball bat for Monica’s ‘secret lover’ to emerge. He lets himself in, and plays out the charade of the suspicious husband. Naturally, no suitor is found, and Monica demands an apology from Joey for his suspicions. Just then though, Joey spots the suitcases that Chandler had deposited earlier and C&M’s cover story is blown! They confess, and while Joey is upset at being tricked, he completely understands that C&M wanted to spend time together (the honest explanation that Monica originally suggested). To make up for it, Monica says Chandler should go to the game with Joey. Ironically though, after all that Joey has the date wrong, so C&M get their time together after all. Back across the street, Mike successfully screens Ross’s calls until Rachel & Phoebe return, but inevitably as soon as Ross is briefly left alone, Bill calls for Rachel. An upset Ross doesn’t pass on the message though. Comments: Rachel – wow! :) Who was more in the wrong – Ross for not passing on the message, or Rachel for not admitting to Ross she’d given out her number? Just what will Phoebe do for Mike for services rendered? :) Friends S9-10 : TOW Christmas in Tulsa I have to admit that for a clip show, this wasn’t bad. We start at C&M’s apartment with Chandler having to spend Xmas in Tulsa. He complains to the others about how he hates his job, only to find he’s the only one who feels that way. He tells them he’ll be back for New Years day though, upsetting Monica because he’d forgotten to tell her he wouldn’t be back before then. When he arrives in Tulsa, his colleagues are just as reluctant to be there as he is, and not afraid to say so. He tries to commiserate with them, but the only one with anything to brighten the mood is an attractive colleague Wendy, who’s stolen a ham from a party downstairs. He tries to tell them they are better off than him – at least they are close to home, then he’s asked what he would be doing if he weren’t there? Cue clips from past Xmas episodes. He finally relents and says everyone can go home. Wendy however daren’t leave until the party breaks up that she stole the ham from. Later, when he’s talking to Monica on the phone he lets slip that he’s alone with Wendy. She starts to get a bit jealous, and when he is slow to reply when asked about her, Ross warns him to answer better/faster! When he puts the phone down, Wendy immediately comes on to him, assuming his awkward phone conversation means he’s not happily married. To his credit, he rebuffs her immediately & decisively though. Wendy realises he’s serious when saying he’s happily married, and asks him why he isn’t with his wife? Cue more clips. Back in NY, they are opening presents, and as usual Rachel makes immediate plans to exchange hers. Meanwhile, Monica is getting ever more paranoid about what she imagines may be happening between Chandler & Wendy in Tulsa! Just at that moment though, who should walk through the door but Chandler himself. He’s finally had enough of being away from his wife, and has quit his job! He’s also found presents that cannot be returned – a donation on their behalf to the NY Ballet company – foiling Rachel for once. :) He’s now stuck with the odious task of job searching, but still realises the humour in being a kept man. Comments : I’m glad the Tulsa storyline is finally dead & buried. The blow-job joke was forced & unfunny. Friends S9-11 : TOW Rachel Goes Back To Work I wasn’t very keen on this episode overall, though none of the individual stories was too bad. In their apartment, Monica is making Chandler a big breakfast so he’ll have the energy to get her ‘nice & pregnant’, but he’s pensive about his current unemployed situation. He realises that Monica’s normally annoying, hyper-organisation will be an asset in a job-search though. Down in Central Perk, Phoebe asks Joey if she can have some of his coffee, but instead of drinking it, she pours it into a flask. She explains that she’s short of money. He offers to lend her some, but she won’t borrow money off a friend, so he says he can get her a job as an extra on DooL! Rachel is nearly ready to return to work, and with Ross, she takes baby Emma to Ralph Lauren to meet her colleagues. She even puts a pink bow on her because she’s tired of people mistaking Emma for a boy! Monica has efficiently created a job search plan for Chandler, but he likes her very first suggestion for a new career – advertising. Chandler apologises for making her waste a lot of effort, but she doesn’t mind, it’s the organising itself she enjoys, and she now has a chance to use her new shredder. :) Chandler thinks he’ll be good in advertising because of his one-liners, but when he experiments with a few advertising slogans, the loyal Monica hasn’t the heart to tell him they suck. She knows a guy who works in advertising though, so she gets him a meeting. When Rachel arrives at work, she is surprised to see a guy (Gavin) in her office, covering her old job. She’s immediately suspicious that he wants to steal her job permanently, and unwisely rubs Gavin up the wrong way. On DooL, Phoebe’s role is a nurse, but she is very nervous and keeps blowing the takes. Eventually Joey coaches her into getting it right though. When Chandler meets the advertising guy, while he gives his usual nervous performance, he is nonetheless offered a chance – but it is only an unpaid internship, not what he’s looking for! Rachel is becoming increasing nervous about having her job stolen, arguing with Gavin and blurts out that she’s returning immediately, rather than in 2 weeks time – forgetting she & Ross have no arrangements for looking after Emma! When she tells Ross, she pretends that she’s being forced into returning early to save her job, but Ross knows it’s illegal to give away the job of a woman on maternity leave, so she has to tell him the real reason – she’s afraid of being pushed out. She returns to her office, insisting Gavin return it to its former state, but things have moved on, and she needs his help to catch up as she can’t even adjust her chair! Meanwhile, Chandler admits to Ross that he’s not sure about immediately starting a family now he’s out of work. While he’s talking to Ross later that day, Monica emerges from the bedroom (not noticing Ross in the background) and tells Chandler about her reaction to their previous night’s sex. He then admits that he faked it because he wants to delay starting a family. The embarrassed Ross rapidly makes his excuses and leaves! Back on the DooL set, Phoebe has another bit part, as a waitress but can’t reconcile that with playing a nurse the previous day, and so Joey has to build her a character background to help her transposition. Unfortunately that background was that Drake had had a one-night stand, and not called her back, so when the filming begins, she slaps the back of his head, blowing another take. When Joey tries to warn her she’s running out of chances, she thinks he’s just being threatened by her acting ability, but when she blows her final chance, she’s escorted (or rather, chased) out of the building by security staff! Rachel is preparing to make a presentation that Gavin originally intended to deliver, only to find out she lacks the confidence to master it in the time remaining. She magnanimously offers it back to him, but he generously says she should do it, saying he’ll look after Emma. She’s dubious about this, but has little choice, even though, as it turns out, he has little or no experience looking after babies. Monica is still trying to come to terms with Chandler faking an orgasm with her, but when he tells her why he did it, she’s very understanding, and begins to think about the changes a baby will bring. It will destroy her carefully organised lifestyle, but before she ponders too much, Chandler suggests they should go make a baby now before she talks herself out of it! Comments : I hope Chandler isn’t out of work too long – unemployment is never a source of good comedy. Even the writers are aware of comments that the baby playing Emma is a boy, not a girl, so they’ve written jokes about it into the show. Surely Monica could tell if Chandler was faking? Since Chandler is unemployed, couldn’t he have looked after Emma, or do Ross & Rachel still not trust him alone with her? Friends S9-12 : TOW Phoebe’s Rats This episode didn’t hold a lot of appeal for me. There seemed to be little real point to any of the three stories. We begin in Central Perk with Joey & Chandler, the latter having been banished after fooling around while Monica prepared the decorations for Rachel’s birthday party. :) Ross, Rachel & Emma then arrive, with their new nanny Molly in tow (played by Melissa George, best known as Angel in Home & Away). All of the guys think she’s hot, though Chandler carefully turns his comment into a joke, and Ross won’t admit his feelings in front of Rachel. Meanwhile Phoebe & Mike are at her apartment doing crossword puzzles (badly) when Mike is shocked to find a rat in her cupboard. Phoebe says it’s all right, it’s her ‘pet’ rat Bob. Mike is still upset though, and even more so when he finds he’s been sharing crackers with Bob! :) Back at work now, Rachel still has to work with Gavin, though she tries to apologise for her previous treatment of him. Unfortunately the ‘apology’ involves calling him ‘pompous & arrogant’, so he asks her if it’s her first. :) There continues to be friction, especially when she sees him checking out his assistant Heather’s ass. He accuses her of being jealous, and she unwisely tells him it would be inappropriate to have a work romance. That backfires though, as Gavin has heard about her & Tag! True to form, Joey is trying to chat up Molly. Ross asks him to back off though, since he knows Joey will probably sleep with her then not call her back, thus losing R&R the nanny they’ve been looking for for months. Unfortunately that just makes Molly seem more desirable. Mike is now setting traps in Phoebe’s apartment, but she’d prefer Bob to be set free. She looks for him but instead finds a nest of baby rats – ‘Bob’ was a female rat! Just then they hear the snap of a rat trap… Back at C&M’s apartment, Ross now asks Chandler to ‘chaperone’ Molly from Joey, so when Joey leaves, Chandler intercepts him, admitting that Ross put him up to it. Unfortunately that just adds to Joey’s ‘forbidden fruit’ angle – ‘the Princess & the Stable Boy’. :) Back at her office, Gavin is still winding Rachel up, answering her phone as if it was his, and calling her his secretary! Rachel decides not to sink to his level, but her resolve soon crumbles when Monica arrives, is introduced, then invites Gavin to Rachel’s party. Rachel admits she was just faking being nice to Gavin. At the party, Monica tells Rachel that Gavin likes her, citing another sad story from her fat Monica days to support this. Rachel then asks Monica what the guys see in Molly, and the slightly tipsy Monica says she wouldn’t push her out of bed… :) Emma has fallen asleep, and when Molly leaves to take her home, Joey slips his ‘guards’ to follow her… Still at the party Monica sots a shoe box which she assumes must be a present, but when Rachel opens it, she finds Phoebe’s rat-babies! Phoebe quickly rescues them, and upsets Rachel by comparing her responsibility to them, with Rachel’s to Emma! Ross & Chandler then notice Joey is missing, and immediately head over to Ross’s apartment, knowing that’s where Joey will be. Sure enough, they find him there, though his chat-up lines don’t seem to be working. They ask for a minute alone with him, and immediately confront him, whereupon he spins a feeble attempt at pretending he has real feelings for Molly, but C&M aren’t fooled! Just then though, a girl turns up at the door asking for Molly. Molly immediately walks over and kisses her on the lips, introducing her as Tabitha – she’s Molly’s girlfriend! This at least solves the problem of Joey trying to seduce Molly (except in his head). :) Mike & Phoebe are trying to decide what to do with the baby rats, and Mike points out they will start breeding. Phoebe points out the baby rats are brothers & sisters, but Mike says that won’t matter to them. She finally agrees to let them go, but she says it’ll be hard, absent-mindedly relating the story of the triplets she had for her brother Frank Jnr. This of course shocks Mike who doesn’t know the whole story! :) The real party has now ended, but Monica doesn’t mind – she sees the clean-up as her party! She then bad-mouths Gavin to Rachel, but of course Gavin is right behind her, so she makes a rapid embarrassed retreat, leaving Rachel alone with Gavin. He has brought her a scarf as a birthday present, and admits having feelings for her. After brief resistance, they end up kissing, only to be seen from across the street by poor Ross… Comments : OK Tennant, you were right about Rachel & Gavin, but IMO there’s *still* no chemistry between the characters! How did Gavin find out about Rachel & Tag? Is this now the longest Phoebe has kept a boyfriend? It’s not just C, J & R who think Molly is HOT – Melissa George was the only reason I used to watch Home & Away! :) Friends S9-13 : TOW Monica Sings Oh dear – this was an *awful* episode. Three stories, two of them weak & the other one so annoying to R&R fans like me. The episode was some minutes longer than usual, but I was left wondering why they bothered. It starts with Ross charging over to C&M’s place, having seen Rachel kissing Gavin. Only Chandler is there, and he is forced to listen to his jealous rant. Ross complains about Rachel kissing guys she barely knows, saying if that’s the deal, he’ll do so too. :) In Central Perk, Joey needs some more head shots, and he wants to look his best. He asks Monica & Phoebe if it would be weird if he has his eyebrows tweezed? Phoebe says it wouldn’t… as long as he’s undergoing a sex change. Phoebe then invites Monica to a karaoke night at Mike’s piano bar. He’s not keen, and will only agree if she doesn’t have to sing. Even Phoebe’s goading won’t change her mind about that, making Monica realise she’s grown as a person. Rachel wants to talk to someone about what happened with Gavin. She explains what happened, to Monica who wisely suggests she talk to Ross. Rachel can’t handle seeing Gavin at work though, so she calls in sick. When Joey arrives at his eyebrow appointment, he’s too embarrassed to use his own name, so gives Chandlers’. :) He seeks reassurance that other guys go there, only for his remark to be misinterpreted as seeking a gay date! When the eyebrow-tweezing starts though, he finds it so painful that he only gets one eye done. Ross decides that he must make an attempt to move on, only for Chandler to undermine his efforts by pointing out his three divorces and two illegitimate children. He suggests they check out a pair of blondes, to which Chandler replies ‘are you trying to get everyone divorced?’. Chandler eventually agrees to help Ross though, but his poor chat-up lines are only beaten by Ross’s atrocious ones! The only girl interested is a distraught one on the rebound. At home, Rachel gets a surprise visitor – Gavin. She pretends to be sick, but Gavin isn’t fooled. She guiltily forces him to hide when she hears the door being unlocked, but it’s just Molly to pick up Emma. Gavin tells Rachel she must talk to Ross to clear the air. At the karaoke bar, Phoebe sings ‘We are the Champions’ badly, then finally persuades Monica to get up and sing. When she does, she gets a rapturous reception, but it’s not because of her voice… she’s wearing a thin top with no bra and the bright stage light reveals almost everything! :) Joey arrives to see Chandler, but hides his face because his eyebrows don’t match. Chandler can help him but swear Joey to secrecy over the reason why – he used to earn his allowance by tweezing his fathers (and his fathers male ‘friends’) eyebrows! :) Back home, Ross allows the woman from CP (Michelle) to use his bathroom, but while she’s in there, Rachel arrives wanting to talk about the previous night. When she sees Michelle, Ross unwisely starts to lie about dating her. After finishing his tweezing duties, Chandler arrives at the bar, only to be shocked to see Monica still singing, and revealing nearly everything! He gets up on stage to stop her, but she wants to continue for the self-esteem boost, even after she finds out why she was so popular! :) Back at their apartment, Ross’s lies are coming unravelled, and when he admits hiding Bill’s phone message from a few weeks back, she is furious! During a pause in hostilities, she tells him that their living together isn’t working, and she heads over to Joey’s to ask to move back in with him. Comments : Is Ben illegitimate – Ross was still married to Carol when he was conceived? Don’t you just hate it when R&R fight? How can they taunt us CCA fans with a see-through top story without letting us see what the bar patrons did? :) Friends S9-14 : TOW the Blind Dates Very mixed bag this week – some of it good and some of it awful. Rachel is settling back in at Joey’s, once he remembers to wear clothes. :) Emma has been wailing all night, though. When Ross arrives, Joey reassures him that he’s over his feelings for Rachel – seeing her using a breast-pump helped with that! When Joey suggests that Ross not living with Rachel is not a divorce, he gets agitated and points out vehemently it is not! :) Ross also wants Joey to set him up with a date – which is a slight problem since Joey rarely stays with girls long enough to ask their names! After Ross leaves, Phoebe shows up, and she tells Joey that Rachel asked her to set her up on a date too. Together Joey & Phoebe then scheme to set up Ross & Rachel with dates from hell, in order demonstrate they would be better off together. Ross asks C&M to baby-sit Emma during his date, but when he mentions some of her new quirks, Chandler wishes he was reading his own name in the obituaries. :) In Central Perk, Joey & Phoebe are comparing Ross & Rachel’s blind dates. Phoebe has set Rachel up with a pervy massage client, and Joey has set Ross up with a boring woman. On further questioning though, Phoebe realises that Ross will love all the things Joey hates about her, so the plan needs some rapid revision. They decide to cancel the date, but without telling Ross! Monica calculates that she is about to ovulate, so wants to immediately have sex with Chandler to make a baby. Unfortunately she’s accidentally used last years calendar, so her fertile period is almost over – they only have tonight, but they are stuck babysitting Emma…! Ross is left in the restaurant thinking he’s been stood up, as J&P planned. Rachel is also having a terrible time – her date, Steve (John Lovitz) is an insecure, boring & over-emotional drug-user. As soon as she can, she phones Phoebe up to ask her just what she was thinking, setting her up with this pervert? Back home, Emma has finally fallen asleep, and Chandler & Monica sneak into their room to have sex. At this point though Joey arrives, sees Emma unattended, hears what Monica & Chandler are up to, and takes Emma next door. When C&M emerge from the bedroom, they panic when Emma is not there. Monica phones Rachel to see if she’s taken Emma, and she sends Chandler to Joey’s to see if he knows anything. Just as she’s about to tell Rachel the horrible news, Joey turns up with Emma, and Monica manages to fob Rachel off with an excuse. Joey isn’t letting them get away so easily though – he tries to blackmail C&M into naming their first baby Joey ‘to carry on the family name’. Chandler then points out the family name is Tribbiani, but Joey doesn’t grasp the concept. After their respective dates, Ross & Rachel meet in CP and compare their evenings. They slowly realise that their bad dates were not coincidence, and the watching Joey & Phoebe have to flee to escape their wrath. :) Comments : Wow – Monica looked HOT tonight (Rachel almost as much, too)! Was Rachel’s date Steve the same man from S1-15 TOW the Stoned Guy? Everything matches up, but Rachel met ‘stoned guy’, so why didn’t she recognise him? Were C&M wrong to have sex once Emma was asleep? Tennant will no doubt disagree, but Joey not recognising the difference between first name & surname is another undoubted example of dumbness. You might have expected Phoebe to realise she & Joey were eating baby food, even if he didn’t. Friends S9-15 : TOW the Mugging Another average episode this week - entertaining in parts, but not strong overall. Chandler bursts into Central Perk, announcing he has a job at last – but it turns out to be only an unpaid internship at an advertising agency. Joey says DooL does those, and Chandler replies his internship will involve less sleeping with Joey! :) Chandler says that the best interns will be hired, and he’s prepared to do humiliating grunt work like getting coffee – prompting a dirty look from Gunther! The next morning Joey comes over saying he wants to wish Chandler luck, but really because he smelled bacon. Rachel then hurries in to tell him Estelle has gotten him an audition for a Broadway play, with a bonus of meeting a famous producer Leonard Hayes (played by Jeff Goldblum). When Chandler arrives at work, he’s so much older than all the other interns that he’s mistaken for one of the advert executives! He tries to play down the age difference, not all that successfully. At Joey’s audition, he makes a poor first impression by appearing to ridicule Leonard Hayes adverts. He assures him he wasn’t trying to make fun of him, but then goes on to make a fool of himself during the play reading by saying ‘Long pause’ instead of taking one. He’s about to be shown the door, when he’s saved by the female producer who thinks he’s hot. :) He asks for a second chance, and is given confusing advice by Leonard, while he manages to throw a ‘How’re you doin’ ’ towards the female producer who’s taken a shine to him! Leonard relents and tells him to come back at the end of the day. Meanwhile, Ross & Phoebe are walking down the street chatting about Ross’s new date when a man jumps out and starts to mug them! The sticky situation is saved when Phoebe realises she knows the mugger from her days on the streets, and she hugs him. Ross is shocked to find that Phoebe herself mugged people on occasion, though. Later that day Joey & Monica are discussing his audition (he’s had a call-back) when Chandler enters with ‘Honey, I’m old’. :) He then produces a pair of gaudy roller- blade/sneakers which he has to write an advertising slogan for. He can’t imagine any adult wanting to buy them, but Joey proves him wrong – offering him $500 for them. He asks for help, and Monica suggests a girl with big knockers would help sell them – Joey agrees! :) When Ross & Phoebe meet Monica in Central Perk, they tell her about their ‘mugging’, and that Phoebe herself used to be a mugger, which she isn’t proud of. Monica brings up a painful memory – that Ross was mugged as a nerdy kid near a comic shop. At this point Phoebe starts to look furtive & guilty. As soon as Ross leaves, she and Monica compare details of Ross’s mugging, and Phoebe admits that it was she who mugged him! At Joey's call back, he's desperate to pee, but isn't given the chance, leaving him ‘squirmy'. Leonard misinterprets Joey's discomfort as his asked-for urgency so he's offered a call-back. Chandler is still drawing a blank on his advertising slogan – the only think that he can come up with is ‘They’re so uncomfortable that it’s like getting kicked in the nuts for your feet’! :) Then, when he tries to move around wearing them, he falls flat on his back, hurting his hip. When Phoebe sees Ross next, she immediately makes him suspicious when she asks him how his class was – which no-one ever does. When he starts to tell her, to avert the tedium she blurts out that she was Ross’s mugger. He denies it, saying it was a large man, having covered up for years that he was mugged by a 14yo girl! Phoebe then proves it was her by repeating exactly what she said when she attacked him! She tries to lighten the mood by pointing out she now has the early connection with the group that she always thought she lacked. At this particular moment Ross isn’t in the mood to appreciate this, though. He tells her it was the most humiliating moment of his life, and is forced to stop her before she starts producing counter-examples. Back at the ad agency, Chandler has finally come up with an idea – he suggests having a kid wearing the sneakers jump over a hurt adult user, with the slogan ‘Not suitable for adults’. His boss is impressed. As Chandler limps off though, it becomes obvious he drew directly from his own bad experience of wearing the roller-sneakers. :) At Joey's call-back, he has deliberately drunk a lot of liquids to create the required level of urgency, but this painful tactic succeeds and he's offered the part. Leonard offers a congratulatory hug and tells Joey he can relax now. This is a mistake though as Joey can no longer hold in all the liquids he drank... :) A contrite Phoebe tries to make up to Ross by bringing along a box of ‘crap from the street’ which contains Ross’s lost self-created superhero comic ‘Science Boy’. She tells him it explained a lot to her. He’s so delighted to see it that he immediately forgives her. He finds out later that Monica has related the tale of his mugging to everyone though! Comments : If it had been anyone but Phoebe, I’d have said they were BS’ing about liking Ross’s comic – but she often likes weird stuff. We barely saw Rachel this week – was JA ill, or off filming something else? Friends S9-16 : TOW the Boob Job Another slightly disappointing episode, especially given its expectation-raising title. None of the three stories got above ‘moderate’. It starts with Chandler & Monica discussing their worsening financial situation. He tries to blame Enron, and she suggests they eat out of Joey’s fridge for a change! Monica suggests borrowing money from her parents, but Chandler appears dead set against borrowing money from anyone. Phoebe & Mike seem to be getting along so well that he doesn’t want to leave her apartment, even though he needs a change of clothes. He suggests they move in together, which Phoebe is delighted to agree to! Monica, knowing how much she and Chandler need money to tide them over, decides to ask Joey for a loan. When she first swears him to secrecy, he thinks she’s asking for sex, but she soon puts him straight, wanting to borrow $2000. Little Emma is now starting to crawl, so Rachel decides it’s time to baby-proof the apartment. She gets a very cynical reaction when she says she’ll do the work herself, though! In Central Perk, Phoebe tells the others about moving in with Mike – and she claims never to have lived with a man before. Monica tells her it’s just like living with a girl, except your make-up doesn’t get stolen. As they discuss this event, Phoebe realises just how much she likes Mike, even thinking ahead long-term about a house & kids! She’d enjoy doing something conventional. As Rachel stubbornly attempts DIY, she gets her jumper stuck on a draw, realises the others were right that she couldn’t handle it, and calls a handyman. Despite what Chandler said earlier about borrowing, he follows Monica in asking Joey for a loan. Joey nearly gives the game away by guessing why, and how much Chandler needs, but manages to cover himself since Chandler is distracted. He’s caught out when he starts writing the cheque though, as Chandler sees a cheque stub made out to Monica. Joey blurts out the first thing that comes to mind – that she wants the money for a boob job, something Chandler isn’t keen on. Later, while talking to Mike, Phoebe hears something from him that causes her great anguish – he doesn’t want to get married again *ever*! His previous marriage has destroyed his faith in the institution. To give her time to consider this, Phoebe lies about wanting to get married. When Chandler finds Monica to discuss her having a boob job, Rachel is caught in the background looking uncomfortable. C keeps over-playing on the theme of M being perfect the way she is, to the extent that she becomes suspicious. He says he wants nothing on her to be bigger, and says he hopes she feels the same way about him. He quickly spots the double entendre in that though, and tells her not to answer! :) After Chandler leaves, the puzzled Monica & Rachel try to work out what he’s on about, and leap to the wrong conclusion – that he’s talking about her becoming pregnant, and is having second thoughts. Phoebe needs to talk to someone about her situation with Mike, and she turns to someone who she considers an expert on marriage – Ross! When she first broaches the subject, he thinks she’s mocking him though. She reassures him and explains the situation. He explains that despite his history, he loves being married – though he prefers his term ‘Ross the Divorcer’ to her ‘Divorco’! She’s realises that she must confront Mike & see if he will change his mind about marriage. Joey meanwhile is having a problem in his apartment – he can’t open anything protected by the newly-installed baby locks! He yells to Rachel for help, but she’s next door with Monica Chandler now confronts Monica about the boob job, and she gets upset because she still thinks he’s talking about the body changes caused by pregnancy. When Rachel talks about how on earth he’ll handle their baby being born, he finally realises there’s something odd going on. Joey is trying to open the baby locks by brute force, when he’s confronted by Monica, Rachel & Chandler asking why he said Monica was having a boob job. He briefly denies it to their faces, until he realises they know everything, prompting him to bemoan that he’s out $4000 and no-one is getting bigger boobs! :) At Phoebe’s apartment, the gang are helping Mike to move his stuff in, while she begins trying to change his mind about marriage. Unfortunately he is adamant, so she realises she cannot stay with a man who doesn’t want what she does, and very reluctantly she has to break up with him. Comments : Nice to see a traditional group hug, even if it was for an unfortunate reason. No doubt Tennant will make a big thing about Joey’s ‘quick’ responses this episode… Friends S9-17 : TOW the Memorial Service I wasn’t that impressed with this one either. Ross & Chandler’s website spat degenerated into absurdity, we had the unwelcome return of Mike, and even the Rachel/Joey wasn’t as cute at it tried to be. The episode starts with Ross having discovered his alumni’s website, and posting a rose-tinted summary of his post-college life. Chandler then starts to write a joke entry for Ross – that he cloned a dinosaur which is now his girlfriend! :) Meanwhile, Joey is wrecking Ross’s apartment with a basketball. When Joey arrives home, he sees that Emma has found Hugsie (Joey’s bedtime penguin pal) and has taken a shine to it. He wants him back, but Emma cries when he takes it, so he’s forced to back off – for now… Phoebe is in Central Perk, eliciting Monica’s help to get over her break-up with Mike. She gives Monica the job of making sure she doesn’t weaken and go back to him. Unfortunately Monica fails her first test at this! Ross has see the joke entry on his website, and he is *not* amused! He retaliates by posting about Chandler that ‘he is as gay as the day is long’. Monica tries to mollify Chandler by telling him that his entry about Ross was clearly a joke, but spoils the comforting by adding that Chandler’s ‘admission’ could easily be true. He’s even had dozens of emails congratulating him for ‘coming out’! Joey is so desperate to get Hugsie back that he even sneaks into Rachel’s room at night to steal him back, but Emma wakes & cries, and Rachel catches him. Joey is forced to lie to cover himself, but whispers to Emma ‘this is not over’. Chandler & Ross’s cyberfight escalates even further when he posts that Ross is dead – hit by a blimp. Ross then threatens to post some doctored gay porn of Chandler, in revenge! Phoebe is now at her apartment with Monica. She wistfully wishes Mike were there having sex with her! Monica points out that she must quit Mike ‘cold turkey’ and gets lost in the moment when she says it’s like eating cake – once you start, you can’t stop and you end up weighing 210lbs and getting stuck in a water-slide! She confiscates Phoebe’s phone, and her also her mobile, even though she has to shake it loose from Phoebe’s pants! Joey now tries a different tactic to get Hugsie back – he buys Emma an ‘identical’ one, but she’s not fooled, and cries again when the switch is made. Joey is forced to take the new one. Monica later pays a surprise visit to Phoebe, hoping to catch her trying to reconcile with Mike. Phoebe denies contacting him, saying she wants to be alone – but then Mike turns up at her door! Covering, she says it’s OK to hang out as friends, but Monica traps her by playing gooseberry! Chandler is ready to apologise to Ross over the whole website business, only to find Ross first elated that Chandler’s ‘dead’ joke has been ignored, then upset when he realises it means no-one misses him! Chandler tries to assure him it’s only because they have no outlet for their grief, but that just prompts Ross to set up a memorial service for himself! Joey has one last attempt to hold on to Hugsie – hiding him under his bedcovers, but Rachel guilts him into handing him over by saying Emma loves Hugsie because she reminds him of her uncle Joey. He has second thoughts at the last moment though, and snatches Hugsie back! Monica is forced to leave Phoebe and Mike alone together briefly when she has to visit the bathroom, but she overhears his impassioned plea for fresh start and insists that Phoebe should kiss him. At this moment, Mike’s friend Manny turns up, having been given the same task as Monica – to keep the couple apart. While he & Monica argue over who was at fault for not keeping Phoebe & Mike apart, the couple sneak off to the bedroom! Ross is upset when it appears that no-one has turned up for his memorial service. When a guy finally turns up, Ross hides in the bedroom, but he’s not there for Ross, but to ask Chandler out! Chandler quickly gives him the bums rush, only for an attractive woman to turn up – Cory Weston from college who admits she had a crush on Ross. She regrets never asking him out, at which point Ross, overhearing, rushes out from the bedroom to prove he isn’t really dead, and expecting a positive reaction. Instead she berates him for his ‘sick stunt’ and rushes out. He’s far from upset though – he’s simply happy with the knowledge that she had a crush on him! Comments : Did you notice that it was Joey that got Chandler into trouble by posting the dinosaur joke which Chandler never intended to? When Monica took Phoebe’s cell phone, it magically jumped from the floor to her hand. One for Tennant : If Emma is an animatronic robot, then I’m sleeping with Dedee Pfeiffer! :) I know a real baby when I see one! Friends S9-18 : TOW the Lottery Bit of a bland episode this, and unusual in having only one storyline. The episode starts off with Joey asking to borrow Monica’s Porsche, which he needs to go out of state to buy lottery tickets for an exceptionally large jackpot. Monica reminds him to use the car *only* for driving, not for girls or eating spaghetti! Just in time he finds he needs to go to Connecticut, not West Virginia as he thought! When they hear they size of the jackpot, all the others want a piece of the action too, buying $50 of tickets, except for the pragmatic Ross, who scornfully reminds them of the odds against winning. He then uses the word ‘boohockey’ which puzzles the others until Rachel explains that Emma is about to talk, so they’re avoiding real swearwords around her. Having returned with the tickets, Monica says if she wins it’ll be the first time she’s won something since 6th grade – which she reluctantly admits was a pie-eating contest! :) Ross then rushes in, telling Monica her car is being impounded, but it’s parked elsewhere, so it can’t be hers. Joey then sees Ross & Rachel there without Emma, and is alarmed at her absence. Rachel reassures him that Emma is with Mrs Green, but he can’t remember this until reminded that Sandra was the person who brought along a casserole. :) Meanwhile, Chandler is anxiously waiting for a phone call about whether he’s been given one of the three available internships. When he gets the call, he’s told one place has already been filled. Everyone except Joey can tell from his body language what the result of the call was, but Joey looks foolish when he has to ask, and is told ‘sense the tone’. Phoebe then arrives, very excited, proclaiming that her psychic has told her she’d win the lottery. She also has a wishbone, saying that while she won’t eat the meat, she still likes to play with the carcasses! Joey pulls the wishbone with her, and wins, but refuses to say what he’s wished for, even though it’s assumed it was for a lottery win. Rachel starts mocking Ross over him not buying lottery tickets, but it isn’t until Monica charms him into it that he relents. He then refers to Rachel as ‘mommy’, explaining they’re trying to have that as Emma’s first word – then realising how silly it looks when Emma isn’t around. He suggests Rachel reciprocates by calling him ‘daddy’, but then Phoebe flirts with him using it, and he’s too uncomfortable to respond to the game! Chandler then gets another phone call – another of the 3 places has been filled, and he knows the remaining one will go to his friend Charlie, who just happens to be the boss’s son! Monica then assumes control of who will check the lottery ticket numbers, but Chandler lets slip that she’s bought some secret ones! The gang start arguing about them, and this continues until Phoebe grabs the tickets, yells, and threatens to throw them off the balcony! She doesn’t mean it of course, but then a pigeon flies right by her, startling her into dropping the tickets to the street below! They rush down to retrieve them, but it’s windy and they can only find half. On their return, they find Phoebe has left an apologetic phone message in the guise of the scary pigeon! There’s also a 2nd message, telling Chandler that he’s missed out on the last internship place. It’s now time almost for the lottery draw, and Ross & Rachel phone her mother to talk to Emma before she settles off to sleep. Rachel ecstatically tells everyone that Emma’s said her first word : ‘gleba’. Ross is indifferent though, as he realises it was just a random sound she made. Rachel won’t accept this though, even looking it up in a dictionary, and finding by chance that it’s a real word, referring to something to do with plants. Ross is pleased, saying his little girl is going to be a scientist! When the lottery numbers are called, no-one has won anything of course, but then Chandler gets an unexpected phone call. He expects his boss to confirm his rejection, quipping he’s not used to being turned down by guys. He gets a wonderful surprise though – his boss has recognised his maturity(?) and experience, and offers him a job as a Junior Copywriter! Joey then reveals that he’d actually wished for Chandler to get the job, rather than to win the lottery, though Chandler cautions him not to tell Monica that! :) As it turns out, their tickets weren’t all duds – Phoebe realises they’ve won a massive… $3. In Central Perk later though, after finding out that no-one won the jackpot, to their horror they hear from Gunther that one of their lost tickets has won a guy $10,000! :) Comments : Wasn’t Rachel’s face a picture when Ross said Emma will be a scientist! :) Now Chandler has a new job, we can move on from the unemployment storyline which was getting stale. At last I know about the scary pigeon that Tennant’s review had been intriguing me about for ages. TOW No-one’s Ready did an ensemble episode a lot better than this one. Friends S9-19 : TOW Rachel’s Dream I guess it will come as no surprise that I wasn’t keen on this episode, since it played on my disliked Joey/Rachel theme. Even so, the title story was well acted, and better than the two filler stories. We begin with Joey apparently making romantic overtures to a pineapple! Rachel catches him at this, and he hastily explains he’s rehearsing for a romantic scene on Days of Our Lives. He’s nervous about it, and invites Rachel to the set for reassurance. Monica is delighted with the performance of her restaurant ‘Javu’s’, it’s booked solid for a month – however, that means she has to turn down Chandler’s plan of a romantic weekend away together. He tries to cancel, but his deposit is non-refundable, so Monica suggests that Ross goes along instead. Ross isn’t keen, as two men going away together sounds gay, but Monica points out there’ll be two beds, and the clincher is a moonlight boat-ride. At the DooL studio, Rachel is looking excitedly round the set, asking if the bed is where one of the characters lost their virginity? Joey says no, but that one of the extras did! :) Rachel is also checking out Joey’s co-stars, only to be told the one she has her eye on is gay. She says ‘not in her head’, but Joey destroys the illusion by telling her that the guy made out with Santa at the last Xmas party! When Joey’s romantic scene is filmed, Rachel is really getting into it, only to be disappointed when the director yells cut at the crucial point. Meanwhile, at Javu’s, Monica is bathing in the complements she’s receiving for her cooking, only for one customer dare to dissent! It turns out that it’s not the food that’s the problem, but the person singing outside. Monica heads outside, and we see the singer is Phoebe. Monica is stuck in an awkward situation – needing to tell her friend that her singing is distracting her customers without offending her. She errs on the side of caution though - her hints about the restaurant being too classy being too subtle and Phoebe stays. Chandler & Ross arrive at their hotel, with Ross on a sugar ‘high’ from eating maple candy. After their 6 hour drive, Chandler is pissed off when he finds they have no record of his reservation. The only alternative they can off is the deluxe suite which will be far more expensive. Ross suggests they recoup some of the extra by ‘appropriating’ anything they can get away with. When Rachel arrives back home she finds Joey studying the next days script, and is delighted when he asks her to rehearse it with him. As he reads Drake’s romantic lines though, Rachel gets mesmerised and ends up asking him to kiss her! Just as he does, Rachel wakes up to realise this was just an erotic dream – saying ‘That’s new!’ Back at the hotel, Ross is abusing the hotel’s hospitality by ordering everything he can from room service, then enlisting Chandlers help to steal more. In Central Perk, Rachel tells Monica about her erotic dream, and asks her if she’s experienced one. She says as a child she dreamt about marrying mayor McCheese then eating his head. Monica suggests that it may be Drake Ramoray that Rachel is dreaming about, rather than Joey – citing her psych classes in college. Phoebe then arrives, having taken on board Monica’s hints about the upmarket nature of her restaurant, and therefore sporting a top hat & eye-glasses! Monica tries again to tell Phoebe she doesn’t think she should play outside Javu’s, but once again Phoebe doesn’t understand, so she’s forced to tell her straight out. As Monica feared, Phoebe is upset, and they end up getting in a big argument. Monica saying Phoebe sings off-key, and Phoebe saying Monica’s food has too much garlic! When Chandler receives the hotel bill, he’s dismayed at the room tax. Ross is still looking for stuff to rip off though – eyeing up some pine cons, even though the hotel is surrounded by forest. He comes unstuck though as he tries to walk away – his suitcase falls open revealing all his booty, so he has to leave everything and make a hasty exit. Monica & Phoebe still haven’t settled their spat by the time she next plays outside Javu’s, so Monica pulls her inside and asks the diners to vote on Phoebe’s music. Opinion is split though, and the only definite decision is that Monica & Phoebe’s argument is spoiling the customers evening.. At this, M & P both realise how silly they’ve been, and make up with a hug. Back home, Rachel is still thinking about her Joey dream. It turns out that Joey is still having problem with the scene because he’s only ever been in love with one woman – Rachel, and can’t put across the appropriate feelings on camera. Rachel then coaches *him* in acting, telling him to think of how he felt about her. He acts on her advice, reading the lines so passionately that when he stops, Rachel is left wistful & horny! Comments : Groan – I’d hoped they’d buried the Joey/Rachel angle. It’s been a while since Phoebe last sang. Ross was rather nerdy this week. Friends S9-20 : TOW the Soap Opera Party Something of an ensemble episode again, though the stories were a little more distinct than last week. It was also somewhat more entertaining than last week’s. The story starts with Joey buying tickets for the gang to a play. They’re not enthused about plot though, Ross indicating it’ll be a snooze. Joey says he can’t go though, he has to get up to go to work early. Rachel is still thinking of her dream about kissing Joey, and she asks Monica if two friends can fool around without it meaning anything? Monica realises she’s talking about Joey, and tells her it isn’t a good idea anyway. Ross has been lumbered with a potentially onerous task – he has to show two new professors round campus. He expects that they’ll be old windbags, but when the first one turns up, she’s an attractive young woman (‘Charlie’), and what’s more, she likes Ross’s work! He’s a bit taken aback by her, but soon theirs a spark between them, prompting Monica to bet to Chandler that they’ll be married in a month! :) The other professor, when he finally shows up, is as dull as Ross feared though. Later that day though, when Rachel checks her phone messages she finds out what Joey is really up to. There’s a secret Days of Our Lives party in their building which Joey hasn’t invited the others to! When Rachel plays back the message to Joey, has forced to admit he’s done this before, too – sending the gang off to spurious events because he knows how they react around celebrities. Rachel begs to be invited, but when she is, she reacts just how Joey feared – freaking out over meeting his co-stars. At a restaurant, Ross & Charlie are finding their colleague insufferably boring, so they ditch him, and Ross takes them to meet Phoebe & Monica. Phoebe then surprises Ross by reeling off the name of a palaeontology paper to Charlie, but she just memorised the title to freak him out! Rachel then arrives to excuse herself from going to the play, claiming illness. Monica isn’t fooled though, pulling open Rachel’s dressing gown to reveal an evening dress. She’s forced to tell the others about the soap opera party in the roof. When Joey arrives, they confront him about the event, and Monica, thinking he’s also dressed up for the evening, tells him to open his bath robe. Big mistake – He’s naked under there! :) Joey of course, now has to invite his friends to the party, and they start to behave just as he feared, with both Rachel *and* Monica flirting with the male stars. Monica then realises Chandler is missing – the poor guy is stuck at the play, having not been told of the change of plans, and it is as tedious as he expected. Ross is taking the chance to chat up Charlie, and discovers that her former dates were all geniuses – Nobel Prize winners etc. He then feels intimidated enough into delaying asking her out. Meanwhile, Monica seems to forget that she’s married, even getting one of the actors to sign her bra! Rachel is also accumulating actors phone numbers, though Joey vets them heavily, saying most are not good enough for her. He tells her he knows who she’ll be going home with though – himself. She’s excited about this until he points out that they share a flat anyway! Chandler finally gets to the party and complains to Monica about the play. He gives an example of the sort of subjects raised, asking Monica when she had her first period. She’s uncomfortable about this, but when Chandler notices her signed bra, she’s forced to distract him by talking about her puberty. Phoebe is sensibly telling Ross that he should go for it with Charlie, and Rachel tells Monica she will do the same with Joey, but by the time she & Ross find their prospective dates, they find that Joey & Charlie are kissing each other! Comments : Why did Gunther pretend not to know Ross? I guess the writers are not going to let up on this Rachel/Joey storyline, despite my strongest wishes. Again – where’s Emma? Friends S9-21 : TOW the Fertility Test Quite a good episode, but hurt by the ending of the title story, which had no business being in a sitcom rather than a soap opera. :( The episode begins in Central Perk, with the gang discussing Ross & Charlie’s kiss. Chandler having missed most of the party, has to check that Charlie is a woman, and Rachel nearly says too much in her reaction to Joey’s kiss! Phoebe then suggests that, with Charlie’s brains & Joey’s ‘sexual magnetism’ - if they had kids, they’d be nerds who’d get seriously laid. :) Joey’s well aware that Charlie is far smarter than him, and as if to demonstrate completely misuses the word ‘acrimonious’. Later, Phoebe turns up at Joey’s apartment to show off her new shoes, which she bought from eBay as ‘being owned by the late Shania Twain’. She’s immediately corrected, and realises she’s been ripped off. Rachel has a gift certificate for a massage at local spa, but Monica advises her not to use it as it’ll upset Phoebe who hates such corporations. Rachel thinks she already makes too much allowance for Phoebe’s views, and stand up to her – until she plays the friendship card, causing Rachel to tear up the gift voucher. Soon after, when Chandler & Monica are alone, he brushes papers off a table for them to have sex on, only for Monica to tell him that making a mess with the papers don’t turn her on – saying ‘know your audience’. Their discussion turns to fertility tests, they having not conceived a baby after a year of trying. Chandler reluctantly agrees. Joey offers to show Charlie round the city, but he doesn’t recognise the places she names, then when she suggests the Met (Metropolitan museum of Art), he thinks she’s talking about the NY Mets basketball(?) team whom he hates. Despite her promise to Phoebe, Rachel decides to use her (repaired) gift certificate. The real reason for Phoebe’s opposition soon become clear though – she is working there, and is lined up to be Rachel’s masseuse! She’s sold out her principles for money. Joey decides to have a talk with Ross about showing Charlie round NY, only for Ross to suggest the same sort of places Charlie did – including the Met, though he suggests they should turn right at the entrance for the best exhibits. At the fertility clinic, Chandler worries that what he has to do will be secretly filmed and posted to the internet, however Monica assures him that *no-one* would want to watch that! As it happens though, that’s the least of his concerns, as who should appear but Janice! Chandler exclaims ‘Why are you here?’, and she starts to explain that she & her new husband are also having trouble starting a family, but Chandler meant ‘Why are you ‘haunting’ me?’! She can’t resist teasing him though, first suggesting they’ve given Chandler a ‘kiddie size’ receptacle, than asking if he wants a helping hand producing a sample! Phoebe is trapped into massaging Rachel, and naively thinks that putting on a fake Swedish accent will fool Rachel. She tells Rachel to look down at the floor so she can’t see her, but Rachel recognises her shoes. Rachel then toys with her, asking her a series of questions about Sweden. She finally traps Phoebe by hinting that Phoebe’s guitar playing is bad, to which she has to respond. She admits she’s ashamed, but the money & perks are so good she couldn’t resist. Rachel then tells her she admires Phoebe’s principles because she doesn’t have any herself, and tells Phoebe she should quit to salve her conscience. Ross continues to help Joey, even coaching him on the Met exhibits. Joey’s acting experience enables him to memorise Ross’s complicated prose, though Ross warns him against ad libbing and touching the paintings. After the date, Charlie sees Ross at Central Perk and he asks her about it. She wonders if she & Joey have anything in common, as he’d managed to mess up Ross’s instructions and gone to the wrong side of the museum. Ross says she should give him another chance though. When Chandler & Monica’s test results come through, they are not good news for either of them. Chandler’s sperm ‘won’t get off the barcalounger’, and Monica’s body ‘kills the ones that do’. There’s a chance they may never be able to have children. They then share a consoling hug. Comments : Sweet Ross emerges for a rare visit. First the Rachel/Joey story, now this soap-opera-esque infertility story – are they deliberately trying to put me off the show? Janice’s annual appearance was as memorable as it was inevitable. Surely IVF is a good possibility for C&M? Was Emma actually there or not? Friends S9-22 : TOW the Donor Not a great episode this week – very much a filler just to set up the season finale. We start in CP, with Rachel getting jealous of Charlie’s affection with Joey, mumbling to herself, and when getting caught, claiming she was reading to Emma. Joey then volunteers Rachel to take Charlie shopping for some new clothes (preferably slutty ones)! Phoebe is upset that she’s been given a party invite by Mike’s sister, as she’ll have to pretend she’s over him. She needs some new clothes too, so she joins Rachel & Charlie’s shopping trip. Chandler & Monika are at the doctors to discuss alternatives to having a baby naturally, the choices are surrogacy, sperm donor or adoption. Ross has a chance of being the keynote speaker at a national palaeontology conference, but he has to impress one of his stuffy professors first. He invites the others to come if he wins the chance, but they aren’t keen until they discover it’s in Barbados! Chandler then discusses their visit to the doctor, and Joeys enthusiastically volunteers to be a sperm donor, and when that’s turned down, suggests that Ross should give Ben to C&M! In Ross’s speech interview, he bores his professor to sleep, and then daren’t leave for fear of losing the chance to go to the conference. At the store, Phoebe tries on some male cologne so Mike will think she’s with someone, but the smell isn’t pleasant. Rachel then proceeds to give Charlie bad clothes advice, and when invited to the movies with her & Joey, turns them down on a feeble excuse. A suspicious Phoebe takes her to a dressing room, and realises that Rachel has feelings for Joey. As they leave, they see Charlie in the next cubicle and wonder if she overheard them! Meanwhile, Chandler has invited a guy (Zack) from work that he thinks would be a good sperm donor. Monica isn’t pleased at the set-up, but warms to him when he asks for a coaster to protect her table from his drink. :) Naturally Zach has no idea why he’s there. Phoebe & Rachel test to see if they can hear each other from adjacent dressing rooms, and Rachel goes into a flap when they discover they can. Ross calls Joey for advice on how to deal with his sleeping professor situation, but Joey can’t help, only having been on the wrong end of such a situation! Chandler gets too effusive about Zack’s suitability, prompting Monica to warn him he looks gay. During dinner, Zach is embarrassed at the personal health questions Chandler & Monica keep throwing at him though, and makes an exit as soon as politely possible. Rachel & Phoebe decide they must as Charlie if she overheard them, but Phoebe heads off leaving Rachel to handle the situation alone. It turns out Charlie *did* overhear them, but not clearly because she thinks it’s Phoebe that’s interested in Joey. Rachel does nothing to discourage this notion, saying Phoebe is a nymphomaniac. Ross tries to escape from the office, but the door opens suddenly causing him to give the professor an impromptu ‘lap-dance’ – all he can do is bluff his way out, thanking the embarrassed professor for giving him the conference opportunity. Phoebe comes into Central Perk looking absolutely stunning in her new dress, and prompting Joey to give his ultimate compliment – she’s ‘stop eating’ HOT! As she leaves though, who should she spot but her old flame – David the scientist guy! He’s finally back from Minsk for good, but dismays Phoebe by telling her he’s seeing someone. When she tells him she split up with Mike though, David says he was lying to save face, and with them both being single they go off to spend the evening together. After Zach leaves, Monica admits she never really wanted to go down the sperm- donor route, and Chandler says he wasn’t keen either, only going along with it because he thought that was what she wanted. In a sweet moment, she says she only wants a baby with Chandler and they agree that adoption is the only real path for them. Comments : Jealous bitchy Rachel is back. How great did Phoebe look! :) Will David be a semi-regular now as Phoebe’s boyfriend? IVF was not mentioned for C&M? TOW Barbados (1) I wasn’t expecting a great deal from this episode, so I was pleasantly surprised. We start off in Central Perk with the gang preparing for their trip. Ross has gotten them VIP passes, but they’re only for boring conferences so they aren’t enthused. Joey is looking forward to the romantic benefits of the trip with Charlie though. Emma even makes a rare appearance. When they arrive in Barbados, Ross is treated as a celebrity, even being asked for an autograph – this being especially galling for DooL actor Joey, whom no-one seems to have heard of there! Meanwhile, Phoebe has been ‘infected’ with Freudian slips, referring to David while saying Mike. She tries to make light of it by claiming Monica still mixes up Chandler & Richard! David asks Chandler what is going on, but he tries to avoid giving him advice. He’s eventually persuaded and tells him that Phoebe split with Mike because he didn’t want to get married. To Chandler’s horror, David immediately says he’ll propose to Phoebe! Back in Barbados, Joey is feeling left out, and rain is preventing him doing his favourite beach activity – digging holes! Chandler mentions to Monica that David plans to propose, and she reminds him that he’s not supposed to give advice, reminding him why! The next day when Monica, Chandler, Phoebe & Rachel arrive in Barbados, everyone notices what the humidity has done to Monica’s hair… It is all frizzed up, giving her an incredibly sexy ‘wild-woman’ look! :) David then shows Chandler the ring he’s bought for Phoebe, it’s not a very expensive one as his scientist career is faltering. When Chandler reports to Monica, she tells him to talk David out of proposing, but he reminds her that would count as advice. She then decides she must handle it herself. First she tells Phoebe that David plans to propose, which Phoebe surprisingly is happy about as she loves ‘Mike’ immediately correcting that to David! At Monica’s look, she says ‘Don’t look at me like that Rosanna Rosannadonna’ [who?] Ross is rehearsing his speech with Charlie, despite Joey’s interruptions to look for the pillow-mints. When Chandler arrives, he asks to check his email via Ross’s computer. This proves near disastrous though, as Chandler unwisely opens up a spam email that plants a virus on Ross computer. It wipes out everything, including his keynote speech which he has no printout of. An apologetic Chandler tries to make light of the situation by saying Ross has the same ‘gonna kill you’ look that Monica gives him. His usual cure of a kiss isn’t going to work here though. :) Charlie tells Ross that all is not lost though – she will help him recreate his speech. Rachel & Joey make a hasty retreat though. Monica then phones Mike to let him know that David is about to propose to Phoebe, and he immediately hops on the first place to Barbados. Chandler then calls Monica a meddler! Meanwhile, a bored Joey & Rachel sneak into a pharmacist’s convention to obtain free food, and when he pats a name label onto her chest, she says that’s the most sex she’ll have this weekend! Charlie & Ross have managed to rescue Ross’s career, but when they move close, there is an obvious spark between them. As a distraction, she looks a picture of Emma, then spots one of Ben and asks about him. Reluctantly he tells her about his lesbian first wife, only to find that Charlie also had a partner who turned out to be gay. When Joey & Rachel emerge from the conference, they are slightly the worse for drink, and she admits there’s someone she’s interested in. When Joey presses her on this, she’s stuck, only to be saved by Ross & Charlie’s reappearance. David & Phoebe are now having a meal, and he’s just about to propose. At that very moment though, Mike turns up – and he’s planning to do exactly the same thing! The dismayed David nonetheless steps back, but when Mike proposes, Phoebe turns him down! All she wanted from him was some sign of eventual commitment. Poor David slinks off, but not before Phoebe tells him that she might have said yes to him. Comments : Wow, Monica looked incredible this episode – firstly with her low cut dress, then with her frizzy hair! :) No way was Emma a robot – which is what I’ve been saying all along! What’s up with Rachel’s arm? Surely Chandler would be savvy enough not to open a spam email? Who the hell is ‘Rosanna Rosannadonna’? TOW Barbados (2) A reasonable end to the season, even if it goes in a direction I don’t like. I found the B story more entertaining than the main one, even though it felt very much like filler. It’s the following morning, and Rachel charges into C&M’s room, delightedly exclaiming it’s finally sunny! Chandler then bursts her bubble by reminding them that Ross’s speech is in 45 minutes. When he delivers his speech, the rest of the gang are bored, but the palaeontologists are very enthusiastic. Both Joey & Rachel laugh at inopportune moments though. When it’s over, he receives polite praise from his friends, but hero worship from a closeted professor! Ross is surprised to see Mike back with Phoebe, and after Charlie congratulates him and calls himself a groupie, he gets carried away and makes a comment about her turning up naked in his hotel room. :) Chandler, Monica, Phoebe & Mike are kept indoors by the weather, but they discover the hotel has a ping-pong table in the basement. Monica is keen on playing, but Chandler & Phoebe shy away, knowing how competitive she can get. Mike unwisely takes up her offer, though. Meanwhile, Charlie realises that she has no future with Joey, and breaks up with him. It turns out that Mike is a very good table tennis player, and this gets Monica fired up enough to make a bet, with Chandler even having to restrain her from raising the stakes too high! Rachel is in her room cursing the weather forecaster when a downcast Joey turns up. He tells her what happened with Charlie, and she immediately realises this might be her best chance with him. She drops subtle hints that she’s become interested in him, but he doesn’t twig until he leaves the room. When he goes back in, Rachel has a coyly suggestive look on her face! She tells him that she’s been thinking about him for a month, because they have such fun together. Joey is interested of course, but he turns her down for Ross’s sake. Monica & Mike’s ping-pong game is now getting very heated, with them taunting each other after every point - and Phoebe getting turned on by Mike’s newly discovered competitive side! Ross meanwhile is still being pursued by the professor who accosted him earlier, only for the professor’s wife to turn up. Ross then exclaims ‘get out’, partly in surprise, partly as an instruction! :) Charlie then shows up to talk to Ross about her break-up with Joey, and the reason why. It’s obvious she’s about to tell Ross she’s keen on him, but they get interrupted by three colleagues who want to throw them in the pool as a prank. The ping-pong game is now drawing to a dramatic climax, with the score at 41 each, and Monica’s hair even more frizzy! Chandler & Phoebe are bored out of their heads though. On the next point though, Monica injures her hand and is distraught that she will now lose the game. Chandler then volunteers to take over, which worries Monica as she thinks he sucks at the game. He gambles everything on one point though, and wins it for Monica! She’s delighted, and asks why he didn’t tell her before he was good at ping-pong. When she suggests they enter doubles tournaments, he tells her *that’s* why he didn’t let on. :) Ross & Charlie are hiding out from the pranksters when they share a moment over a drink. He holds back, fearing he’s misread her signals, but then decides to kiss her anyway. She responds to him and they kiss again. Unfortunately, just at this moment Joey spots them! He’s taken aback, but then thinks what’s OK for Ross must be OK for him too, and heads up to Rachel’s room. He kisses her as soon as she opens the door, and all she can respond with is ‘Oh’, before they sink into a passionate embrace! Comments : A predictable end to the season, though one I’ve been resisting since it was first hinted at. Matthew Perry demonstrates some of the skill that led him to be a good tennis prospect in his youth. How much bigger can Monica’s hair *get*? :) Thank goodness the season is over so I don’t have to write any more of these reviews for 7 months!